Birds & Bees

[Cyclonepride]

Ok, so I have an agreement with my little dude (almost 11 yrs old) that I will honestly answer any question that comes to his mind to ask.

Yesterday he asked me what a "ho" was (as sang by the Beastie Boys in No Sleep Til Brooklyn). In the process of explaining, the questions continued until he had the full story of the birds and bees. He was suitably revolted at the prospect:twitcy:. I think it was a good talk, and I guess if he was asking, he was ready to be told.

Somehow, this talk came before the Santa Claus talk:err:. Don't ask me why, it just never happened. Pretty sure he figured that one out on his own, but he is still playing along with the charade.

Now if you will excuse me, I think I have an appointment to be inducted into a special wing at the Parenting Hall of Shame:embarrassed:

 

[Cyclone62]

Let me get this straight. So your little dude is going to believe that if he behaves in HS, that Santa will bring him a girlfriend?

 

[rhillary]

Ok, so I have an agreement with my little dude (almost 11 yrs old) that I will honestly answer any question that comes to his mind to ask.

Yesterday he asked me what a "ho" was (as sang by the Beastie Boys in No Sleep Til Brooklyn). In the process of explaining, the questions continued until he had the full story of the birds and bees. He was suitably revolted at the prospect:twitcy:. I think it was a good talk, and I guess if he was asking, he was ready to be told.

Somehow, this talk came before the Santa Claus talk:err:. Don't ask me why, it just never happened. Pretty sure he figured that one out on his own, but he is still playing along with the charade.

Now if you will excuse me, I think I have an appointment to be inducted into a special wing at the Parenting Hall of Shame:embarrassed:

This is an awesome parenting story! I think I would've lost it when the little guy comes up and asks "Daddy, what's a ho?":biglaugh:

 

[MNclone]

Let me get this straight. So your little dude is going to believe that if he behaves in HS, that Santa will bring him a girlfriend?

Of course not, Santa is going to being him a ho!:biglaugh:

 

[CyDude16]

It's a garden tool.:skeptical:

 

[Cyclonepride]

This is an awesome parenting story! I think I would've lost it when the little guy comes up and asks "Daddy, what's a ho?":biglaugh:

Yeah, I came pretty close. Luckily, we had just arrived at the gym to play basketball, and were getting out of the car. The cold air may have saved me. I just told him I would explain later after I had time to gather my thoughts.

 

[rhillary]

Yeah, I came pretty close. Luckily, we had just arrived at the gym to play basketball, and were getting out of the car. The cold air may have saved me. I just told him I would explain later after I had time to gather my thoughts.

I think there is a Ludacris song out there that covers this conversation pretty nicely.:yes:

 

[ripvdub]

Just have him listen to this. Otherwise he probably has a decent idea of what happens already anyways. Just keep it simple and have him ask questions and keep it from getting awkward.


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A81fwLNklSM]YouTube - Starland Vocal Band Afternoon Delight[/ame]

 

[Cyclonepride]

Just have him listen to this. Otherwise he probably has a decent idea of what happens already anyways. Just keep it simple and have him ask questions and keep it from getting awkward.


YouTube - Starland Vocal Band Afternoon Delight

Somehow I think that might have made it more awkward.:smile: I think it actually went pretty well, and didn't seem real uncomfortable. Much different than my "talk" with my dad. That came along at about 16, and as soon as he started talking, I knew where he was going and assured him that I had all the information I needed.

 

[CYdTracked]

Show him this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwrUGXjLIo8]YouTube - Caliendo as John Madden in "The Birds and the Bees"[/ame]

 

[Stumpy]

Maybe he wasn't actually asking about the birds and the bees at all, and was trying to sort out the Santa business. Maybe he was just skeptical of the big guy saying "ho ho ho", and he wanted to know what that was all about.

In short, respectfully, I think you've made things worse. Your son now thinks Santa's a pimp. :wink:

 

[GeronimusClone]

My Dad's sex talk was pretty simple. Keep the banana out of the freezer and it won't get hard. Dad was a man of few words.

 

[cybsball20]

Just have him listen to this. Otherwise he probably has a decent idea of what happens already anyways. Just keep it simple and have him ask questions and keep it from getting awkward.


YouTube - Starland Vocal Band Afternoon Delight

Somebody has been listening to the Dan Patrick show...

 

[dustinal]

My sister's fiance says his dad's sex talk went something like this...

"So...sex and that. Has your mom talked to you about that?"

"Yeah."

"Good!"

 

[mfelske]

I think there is a Ludacris song out there that covers this conversation pretty nicely.:yes:

You can't turn a ho into a housewife. Ho's don't act right.

or there's always Eddie Murphy's SNL skit... so you wanna be a ho?

 

[Together2813]

I was at the store the other day and there were two little kids in an aisle. I'd say they were 4 and 5 years old. Their Mom was probably about 10 feet away when the little boy called his sister a "B*ll Sack." I couldn't help but die laughing and then I heard the mom just lay into them. Sorry, I couldn't help myself but tell someone. Kids are definitely sponges though!

 

[JordanHXC]

Tis true, you can't make a ho a housewife. I was only married for 11 months and I'm still paying for her chest...

 

[GeronimusClone]

Tis true, you can't make a ho a housewife. I was only married for 11 months and I'm still paying for her chest...

Been meaning to thank you for that.

 

[Cyclonepride]

I was at the store the other day and there were two little kids in an aisle. I'd say they were 4 and 5 years old. Their Mom was probably about 10 feet away when the little boy called his sister a "B*ll Sack." I couldn't help but die laughing and then I heard the mom just lay into them. Sorry, I couldn't help myself but tell someone. Kids are definitely sponges though!

I had a car pull out right in front of us the other day, and my son dropped a d*ckhead on him. He had heard it at school, but didn't really know what it meant. Pretty chuckalicious explaining that one to him.

 

[ISU_Alum_2000]

I was only married for 11 months and I'm still paying for her chest...

That is one of the greatest "man quotes" I have heard in a long time.