Aldi Chicken Wings

[snowcraig2.0]

I've never procrastinated on a loose toilet seat, but did have some amazing sexual adventures on some.

Alone or was someone else there?

 

[MeowingCows]

Alone or was someone else there?

Does my imagination count?

 

[FallOf81]

Alone or was someone else there?

Both. And if you count switching hands the number goes higher.

 

[Cyfan1965]

We don't go there very often, but when we do, I usually get their cashews and almonds for my wife.

Yep, @Angie loves Aldi's nuts.

Aldi nuts, chocolate and Bavarian German sausage

 

[JM4CY]

Hello all.

For several days now I have tried to reconcile in my head the things I witnessed, experienced, and smelled. In many ways, I have struggled to accept and deal with the memories of those 24 hours. I was at the game Saturday. Through the tailgate and game, I constantly wondered if people knew or were judging me for what happened. Eventually though, you have to deal with life, and move forward.

Some back information. The day before wing ingestion, I was playing basketball and took a knee to my mid thigh, making my left leg quite weak. Also, I had forgot to fix the toilet seat in the bathroom (in the basement) that the wife makes me use when I am going to have a blow out.

So Wednesday afternoon my gut started in. I was expecting the eruption, and the wife, who also works from home, banished me to the basement. Things escalated pretty quickly, so I went running downstairs. It was kinda one of those where you start releasing the cargo before you are completely secure in the docking station. On my way down, my left leg buckled a little bit, causing my left butt cheek to hit the seat first, which caused the seat, which I hadn't fixed, to shift all the way to the right, all while I was in mid explosion. I hit my head pretty good, but the worst part was that as my right cheek lifted, I pretty well covered the right side of the toilet, including the seat with processed chicken wings, ice cream, and waffle fries. Clean up involved a whole roll of TP, disinfecting wipes, and a shop vac. I never told the wife, mostly because her main responses would be, 'I told you to fix that toilet' and 'you are too old to be playing basketball'.

So there you go. If there is a moral to the story, never procrastinate on a loose toilet seat.

That might one of the funniest things I have ever read on CF. Particularly the bolded. I literally have tears at my desk at work. Thank you Snowcraig.

 

[cycloner29]

This is all I have. Wondering when the movie version of snowcraig's adventures will be released. A shop vac though? Holy sh!t Batman!!

 

[JM4CY]

This is all I have. Wondering when the movie version of snowcraig's adventures will be released. A shop vac though? Holy sh!t Batman!!

I agree. A Shopvac!

 

[BigTurk]

Hello all.

For several days now I have tried to reconcile in my head the things I witnessed, experienced, and smelled. In many ways, I have struggled to accept and deal with the memories of those 24 hours. I was at the game Saturday. Through the tailgate and game, I constantly wondered if people knew or were judging me for what happened. Eventually though, you have to deal with life, and move forward.

Some back information. The day before wing ingestion, I was playing basketball and took a knee to my mid thigh, making my left leg quite weak. Also, I had forgot to fix the toilet seat in the bathroom (in the basement) that the wife makes me use when I am going to have a blow out.

So Wednesday afternoon my gut started in. I was expecting the eruption, and the wife, who also works from home, banished me to the basement. Things escalated pretty quickly, so I went running downstairs. It was kinda one of those where you start releasing the cargo before you are completely secure in the docking station. On my way down, my left leg buckled a little bit, causing my left butt cheek to hit the seat first, which caused the seat, which I hadn't fixed, to shift all the way to the right, all while I was in mid explosion. I hit my head pretty good, but the worst part was that as my right cheek lifted, I pretty well covered the right side of the toilet, including the seat with processed chicken wings, ice cream, and waffle fries. Clean up involved a whole roll of TP, disinfecting wipes, and a shop vac. I never told the wife, mostly because her main responses would be, 'I told you to fix that toilet' and 'you are too old to be playing basketball'.

So there you go. If there is a moral to the story, never procrastinate on a loose toilet seat.

After you hit your head did you have visions of the flux capacitor? It is what makes time travel possible.

 

[qwerty]

After you hit your head did you have visions of the flux capacitor? It is what makes time travel possible.

What do you think powers the flux capacitor? It is all about the consistency, it has to have flow . . . .

 

[4cy16]

Sounds like you were operating off a wing and a prayer.

 

[farm85]

I just ate a whole bag of frozen Aldi chicken wings. The noises coming from my gut have me quite concerned.

COVID-19’s latest bizarre side effect: ‘Restless anal syndrome’

Despite having fully recovered from the coronavirus, a 77-year-old patient began suffering “deep anal discomfort” and an “essential urge to move” his bowels.

nypost.com

 

[cycloner29]

COVID-19’s latest bizarre side effect: ‘Restless anal syndrome’

Despite having fully recovered from the coronavirus, a 77-year-old patient began suffering “deep anal discomfort” and an “essential urge to move” his bowels.

nypost.com

"Restless Anal Syndrome"

Remember when they came out with the Olestra Potato Chips and the warning label on the bag, "May cause anal leakage". I mean did it like numb your darkstar so it can just leak out or what?

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

Remember when they came out with the Olestra Potato Chips and the warning label on the bag, "May cause anal leakage". I mean did it like numb your darkstar so it can just leak out or what?

LOL those didn't last very long at all

 

[ScottyP]

LOL those didn't last very long at all

the chips or the anal leakage episodes?

 

[farm85]

LOL those didn't last very long at all

Did they run out???????

 

[JM4CY]

Remember when they came out with the Olestra Potato Chips and the warning label on the bag, "May cause anal leakage". I mean did it like numb your darkstar so it can just leak out or what?

 

[cycloner29]

"Other experiences with olestra were said to include the passing of orange-yellow “globules” of oil as well as difficulty wiping. The Center even shared a study commissioned by Frito-Lay which was meant to be confidential that demonstrated “anal oil leakage” was experienced by 3 to 9 percent of study subjects. “Underwear spotting” was present in 5 percent. A variety of gastrointestinal issues were observed in 7 percent."

This is some really deep sh!t!!

 

[JM4CY]

"Other experiences with olestra were said to include the passing of orange-yellow “globules” of oil as well as difficulty wiping. The Center even shared a study commissioned by Frito-Lay which was meant to be confidential that demonstrated “anal oil leakage” was experienced by 3 to 9 percent of study subjects. “Underwear spotting” was present in 5 percent. A variety of gastrointestinal issues were observed in 7 percent."

This is some really deep sh!t!!

Imagine being the person with a clipboard telling some heavy set, trucker looking guy “ok, let me see ‘em.” As he pulls down his pants and shows him his underwear. “Yep, clearly spotting happening here…. Next!!”

 

[ScottyP]

"Other experiences with olestra were said to include the passing of orange-yellow “globules” of oil as well as difficulty wiping. The Center even shared a study commissioned by Frito-Lay which was meant to be confidential that demonstrated “anal oil leakage” was experienced by 3 to 9 percent of study subjects. “Underwear spotting” was present in 5 percent. A variety of gastrointestinal issues were observed in 7 percent."

This is some really deep sh!t!!

at least it is low fat!