Based upon everything I've learned from my Mennonite upbringing, the most likely place for him to go blind or get carpal tunnel is at his computer.
And yes, that is a double, double entendre.
Now I'll go back to drinking this buttermilk and raising this barn while mother sews me a new pair of black pants.
What's the Mennonite stance on hairy palms? Fer or agin' 'em...