**** Your Dad Says

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by jc4cy, Oct 21, 2017.

  1. Cy4Lifer

    Cy4Lifer Active Member

    Dec 21, 2010
    847
    72
    28
    Male
    Ratings:
    +199 / 3 / -0
    My Dad used to say that, also.
     
  2. 00clone

    00clone Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2011
    19,681
    525
    113
    "Before" picture model
    Iowa City area
    Ratings:
    +589 / 3 / -0
    Not my dad, but on my wedding day, I was sitting up front waiting for all the processions, my Grandma and Grandpa were escorted up first and sat in the pew behind me. Grandpa taps me on the shoulder and asks "where are you going for the honeymoon?" Just a touch hungover 00 was curious why that was an important question right then, answered "Cancun". Grandpa leans a little closer and says "when people asked me that, I told 'em 'all the way'." A little nervous and just a touch hungover 00 didn't get it right away, and busy-ness of wedding day made me forget about it, but when we got a chance to relax in Cancun and I thought about the conversation, I laughed like heck.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  3. SimpsonClone

    SimpsonClone Active Member

    Feb 7, 2014
    633
    100
    43
    Ratings:
    +400 / 8 / -0
    "It's hotter than a three peckered billy goat."
     
  4. 19clone91

    19clone91 Well-Known Member

    Nov 21, 2013
    2,316
    325
    83
    Male
    Denver, CO
    Ratings:
    +1,423 / 88 / -0
    I wish my dad was as clever with his one-liners as all of yours...
     
  5. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    37,494
    4,311
    113
    Ratings:
    +16,500 / 411 / -6

    oh I've heard that one plenty.
     
  6. MLawrence

    MLawrence Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2010
    10,197
    912
    113
    Ratings:
    +2,234 / 29 / -1
    A couple from my dad (God rest his soul):

    He was so bright my grandma would call him sonny

    He was so smart, in school, instead of 'A+' he would get 'star+'

    He was so fast he would sprinkle a little salt on bunny rabbits' tails

    Speaking of rabbits, he would refer to their poop as 'smart pills'

    This was a common conversation when I was in grade school:
    Dad: So MLawrence, what did you learn in school today?
    Me: I dunno know.
    Dad: Did you climb the stupid tree, fall, and hit every branch on the way down?

    My dad was quite the smart ass and would tease one of my aunts relentlessly. His go to line directed towards my aunt was, "Cheryl, but the time you get married, I will be dead." My aunt got married in September 2003, and my dad died April 2000. I mean the guy was so bright he was called sonny.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
  7. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    37,494
    4,311
    113
    Ratings:
    +16,500 / 411 / -6
    "when you get out in the real world" was a common line.

    I always suspected that coming from someone who had always worked on the family farm and lived within 5 miles of his birth place that he was maybe not the best person to take advice from on "the real world".

    10-15 years later I feel fairly safe in saying I was right to be a skeptic.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. aauummm

    aauummm Well-Known Member

    Mar 29, 2007
    5,140
    490
    83
    Male
    Being occupied
    Highly Variable
    Ratings:
    +1,153 / 19 / -0
    When something really bad happened or something happened that he didn't agree with he'd say "What a revolting development." Said slowly and very seriously.
     
  9. Cycsk

    Cycsk Well-Known Member
    SuperFanatic SuperFanatic T2

    Aug 17, 2009
    20,515
    1,838
    113
    Ratings:
    +6,165 / 302 / -5

    I did this with my kids when they were younger. And now at social events when we are together, one of us is sure to do it and the rest of us are the only ones who get it.
     
  10. ISpyCy

    ISpyCy Well-Known Member

    Sep 17, 2011
    3,011
    266
    83
    Male
    Harlan, IA/Lincoln, NE
    Ratings:
    +637 / 13 / -0
    Not a saying of sorts, but my dad used to call me "Keith-a-reno chili-beano" when I was little.
     
  11. psychlone99

    psychlone99 Well-Known Member

    Apr 6, 2006
    1,526
    239
    63
    Ratings:
    +665 / 14 / -1
    When he wanted us to show some hustle: "S**t or get off the pot."

    When he felt confident something would happen: "I'd bet a dollar to a donut..."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Al_4_State

    Al_4_State Well-Known Member

    Mar 27, 2006
    23,150
    2,427
    113
    Driftless Region
    Ratings:
    +7,332 / 279 / -1
    "(Insert some inhumane chore) builds character"
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  13. cyrocksmypants

    cyrocksmypants Well-Known Member

    Dec 29, 2008
    59,942
    8,908
    113
    Being Totally Awesome
    Washington DC
    Ratings:
    +49,816 / 1,791 / -44
    Nothing, because he's dead. Thanks for reminding me.
     
    • Informative Informative x 3
  14. SNEDDS3

    SNEDDS3 Well-Known Member

    Apr 1, 2010
    4,192
    337
    83
    Being "The Man!"
    Bellevue, IA
    Ratings:
    +683 / 28 / -0
    Anytime I wanted something.....

    Wish in one hand and $hit in the other. See which one fills up faster.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. psychlone99

    psychlone99 Well-Known Member

    Apr 6, 2006
    1,526
    239
    63
    Ratings:
    +665 / 14 / -1
    Haha! Ours was walking beans. And we'd probably walk 300-400 acres of beans as a family each season, herbicides be damned. God bless round-up ready technology.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. JP4CY

    JP4CY Well-Known Member
    SuperFanatic

    Dec 19, 2008
    24,090
    4,071
    113
    Testifying
    Ratings:
    +19,423 / 468 / -2
    I brought you into this world, I can take you out!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  17. cyclonesurveyor

    cyclonesurveyor Well-Known Member

    Jan 26, 2009
    1,110
    107
    63
    Belfast
    Ratings:
    +162 / 6 / -0
    Why my kids go back to the farm for 2 weeks every summer. They get to work and get some play time with cousins. Wish it was more.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. CloneFan65

    CloneFan65 Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    2,501
    206
    63
    Math Professor
    Phoenix, AZ
    Ratings:
    +458 / 12 / -0
    "Excuse the pig. The hog's out walking."
     
  19. MeanDean

    MeanDean Well-Known Member

    Jan 5, 2009
    7,676
    3,427
    113
    Male
    Retired Civil Engineer
    Clarence IA-Jensen Beach FL
    Ratings:
    +5,807 / 27 / -0
    It's colder than a witch's tits.

    Morning wake ups: "Rise and Shine, roll-out, up and at 'em!"
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Dopey

    Dopey Well-Known Member

    Nov 2, 2009
    1,884
    171
    63
    Ratings:
    +616 / 67 / -2
    "Dumb *****"

    Usually just about his sister in law
     

Share This Page