**** Your Dad Says

[jc4cy]

I'm fascinated by general sayings or one-liners our parents taught us. For example:

- when it's hot, my dad likes to say he is "sweating like a wh*re in church" , or "it's hotter than a $2 pistol"
- when I ask an obvious question he responds with "is a frogs a$$ water tight?"
- when we go out to eat with the family and I ask what he is getting, he says "the bill"

These are just a few examples, curious to see what others have come up with.

 

[CYme]

When my kids ask where we're going I respond with "Crazy, want to go with me?"

 

[BoxsterCy]

"Watch out for the other guy" was my dad's standard salutation after any visit when I was leaving for a long drive home. Apparently not just to me as someone mentioned it in a eulogy at my dad's funeral. My sister now tells her daughters the same.

And morning dad to sleeping little BoxsterCy (not a morning kid and not a morning adult) "Rise and shine. The sun is in the swamp." Likely maybe an army thing from WWII basic. Throw in him whistling loudly and it was pretty effective and annoying.

Hey, you asked and did not qualify that they had to be cool or funny!

 

[EvilBetty]

If you do something silly my dad will call you a "rumdumb".

I've never heard anyone but him say that.

 

[EvilBetty]

If you do something silly my dad will call you a "rumdumb".

I've never heard anyone but him say that.

Or is that "rum-dum". Perhaps it does in fact define me.

 

[CyCrazy]

Whenever I asked my dad where he was going he would always say. "Going to see a man about a horse".

 

[jc4cy]

"Watch out for the other guy" was my dad's standard salutation after any visit when I was leaving for a long drive home. Apparently not just to me as someone mentioned it in a eulogy at my dad's funeral. My sister now tells her daughters the same.

And morning dad to sleeping little BoxsterCy (not a morning kid and not a morning adult) "Rise and shine. The sun is in the swamp." Likely maybe an army thing from WWII basic. Throw in him whistling loudly and it was pretty effective and annoying.

Hey, you asked and did not qualify that they had to be cool or funny!

Your dad was a little more "PC" than mine in the morning. All through high school he'd occasionally wake me up in the morning by opening the shades and saying "wakey wakey, hands off snakey" haha

 

[jbindm]

Every morning when the family was running late or moving slow - "Let's go, we're burning daylight!"

 

[cyadict]

Whenever I would buy something that my dad thought was unnecessary he would say, “you need that like I need another hole in my head!” He’s the only person I’ve ever heard say that.

 

[Rabbuk]

Whenever I asked my dad where he was going he would always say. "Going to see a man about a horse".

This always meant peeing in my house.

 

[khardbored]

If dad is busy, he would always say "I've got too many irons in the fire." (although "irons" was pronounced more like "arns.")

 

[amishclone]

Whenever I asked my dad where he was going he would always say. "Going to see a man about a horse".

This is slang for taking a leak in the bushes

 

[SouthJerseyCy]

Whenever I would buy something that my dad thought was unnecessary he would say, “you need that like I need another hole in my head!” He’s the only person I’ve ever heard say that.

My dad would say this also, but usually in the context of someone (generally my sister) talking about getting a piercing. I guess it makes slightly more sense in that context.

 

[stateofmind]

If I screwed up he would say, "Smooth move Exlax!".
My go to for obvious responses are "Does the Pope **** in the woods?", or "Is a bear Catholic?"

 

[IsuStu]

“That’s the cat’s ass”

 

[CYme]

Whenever I asked my dad where he was going he would always say. "Going to see a man about a horse".

I always used that in reference to a deuce.

 

[cyson]

My favorite stated in a serious matter of fact tone” The human race is it worth saving?”

 

[jc4cy]

This always meant peeing in my house.

"shake it more than twice and you're playing with it"

also, if I was in the shower and taking a while he'd say "measure it as many times as you want, it's not getting any longer" lol

 

[CloneinWDSM]

Whenever someone says that I can’t hear you to my dad, he responds with HUH? like he’s deaf and now he can’t hear.

When I used to say I’m Hungry, “Hi Hungry, I’m Robert.”

 

[urb1]

If I was headed out with friends, he'd say, "If you get home too late, you're going to bed without breakfast."