A couple from my dad (God rest his soul):
He was so bright my grandma would call him sonny
He was so smart, in school, instead of 'A+' he would get 'star+'
He was so fast he would sprinkle a little salt on bunny rabbits' tails
Speaking of rabbits, he would refer to their poop as 'smart pills'
This was a common conversation when I was in grade school:
Dad: So MLawrence, what did you learn in school today?
Me: I dunno know.
Dad: Did you climb the stupid tree, fall, and hit every branch on the way down?
My dad was quite the smart ass and would tease one of my aunts relentlessly. His go to line directed towards my aunt was, "Cheryl, but the time you get married, I will be dead." My aunt got married in September 2003, and my dad died April 2000. I mean the guy was so bright he was called sonny.