I'm sorry; maybe I'm not explaining well. In my experience, many women DO have that option, and choose to not be stay-at home moms. I think mtown got my point - one choice is not "better" than the other, so when someone says their wife chose to work, and you point out how to "fix" it...yes, you're implying that she made the "wrong" choice. And the majority of the time, that judgement is aimed toward women. Even in an election...no one every questions if a male candidate with young children will be able to perform the duties of an office, but it's trotted out damn near every time a woman with young children runs for something.
There is a bias against women with children working, and plenty of judgment against those who work by choice. I'm not offended by your words. Nor am I shy about pointing it out when I see it.