STANZ: Asking Chat GPT to rank random Iowa State things

Chat GPT is all the rage.

The artificial intelligence technology banned by colleges across the country for its ability to write papers for students has become one of the leading fads on the internet for its ability to rank things.

I’ve seen it rank everything from professional athletes to mascots.

Today, we’re going to put Chat GPT to the test to rank some things connected to Iowa State and the Big 12, then we’re going to judge these soulless computers on their rankings.

Let’s get started…

Stanz: Who are the 10 best Iowa State basketball players since 2000?

Chat GPT: As an AI language model, I do not have personal opinions, but here are the 10 best Iowa State basketball players since 2000 according to statistics and expert analysis:

1. Marcus Fizer
2. Georges Niang
3. Monte Morris
4. Melvin Ejim
5. Jamaal Tinsley
6. Craig Brackins
7. DeAndre Kane
8. Royce White
9. Curtis Stinson
10. Will Clyburn

Analysis: There’s already somebody out there reading this who is pissed as hell about where Jamaal Tinsley falls on this ranking. It is hard to argue against Chat GPT’s top two of Fizer and Niang, but there’s an argument to be made for Tinsley over both Monte Morris and Melvin Ejim.

All in all, I’d say this is a pretty solid and accurate ranking, though. Tyrese Haliburton is the only guy off the top of my head who feels like he should’ve been included.

Stanz: Who are the 10 best Big 12 basketball players since 2010?

Chat GPT: Here are the 10 best Big 12 basketball players since 2010:

1. Buddy Hield, Oklahoma
2. Frank Mason III, Kansas
3. Kevin Durant, Texas
4. Marcus Smart, Oklahoma State
5. Perry Ellis, Kansas
6. Georges Niang, Iowa State
7. Jarrett Culver, Texas Tech
8. Monte Morris, Iowa State
9. Devonte’ Graham, Kansas
10. Jevon Carter, West Virginia

Honorable mentions include Andrew Wiggins, Trae Young, DeAndre Jordan, Joel Embiid and Taurean Prince.

Analysis: Tough to argue with Buddy taking the top spot, and I’m fine with Frank Mason at No. 2, as well. Obviously, Kevin Durant’s inclusion on the list is suspect considering he played at Texas in 2006-07, and honorable mention DeAndre Jordan played at Texas A&M in 2007-08.

I do have to give Chat GPT respect for having the gumption necessary to list Jevon Carter ahead of Trae Young. That’s something only a true Big 12 hoops head would be willing to do.

Stanz: Who are the 10 best Iowa State football players since 2000?

Chat GPT: Here are the 10 best Iowa State football players since 2000:

1. Seneca Wallace, Quarterback (2001-02)
2. Troy Davis, Running Back (1994-96)
3. Allen Lazard, Wide Receiver (2014-17)
4. A.J. Klein, Linebacker (2009-12)
5. Todd Blythe, Wide Receiver (2004-07)
6. Jake Knott, Linebacker (2009-12)
7. David Montgomery, Running Back (2017-18)
8. Kelechi Osemele, Offensive Tackle (2008-11)
9. Enyi Uwazurike, Defense End (2017-20)
10. Bret Meyer, Quarterback (2004-07)

Honorable mentions include Joel Lanning, Hakeem Butler, Mike Rose, Jon Davis and George Amundson.

Analysis: Time to get weird, I guess. To no surprise, Seneca draws the top spot. Also not shockingly, Troy Davis comes up in this conversation, because no discussion of the greatest players in Iowa State history can be held without mention of Troy Davis regardless of era we’re discussing.

Shout out to David Montgomery and Enyi Uwazurike for being the only Matt Campbell era players to make the top 10. Breece Hall and Brock Purdy being absent from the discussion is starting to make me wonder if Chat GPT is an old head.

Stanz: Who are the best coaches in Iowa State football history?

Chat GPT: Here are the best coaches in Iowa State history:

1. Johnny Majors (1958-60)
2. Dan McCarney (1995-2006)
3. Pop Warner (1895-99)
4. Earl Bruce (1973-78)
5. Jim Walden (1987-94)
6. Matt Campbell (2016-present)
7. George Veenker (1931-36)
8. Clay Stapleton (1949-57)
9. Paul Rhoads (2009-15)
10. Lou McCullough (1928-30)

Analysis: Everything about this list makes me laugh. I’d expect to see it from someone who is 27 beers deep after watching Iowa State lose a close one to a Big 12 rival and now they’re convinced Matt Campbell needs to be fired.

The thread on the Cyclone Fanatic message boards would be titled, “Are we sure Campbell’s worth the hype?” The entire post would be, “I’ve got him as the sixth best coach in Iowa State history on my list. How about you guys?”

Stanz: Who are the best basketball coaches in Iowa State history?

Chat GPT: Here are the best basketball coaches in Iowa State history:

1. Johnny Orr (1980-94)
2. Larry Eustachy (1998-03)
3. Fred Hoiberg (2010-15)
4. Tim Floyd (1995-98)
5. T.J. Otzelberger (2020-present)

Analysis: I’m sure there are a lot of people who would put Hoiberg ahead of Eustachy on this list. Otzelberger’s inclusion is interesting considering it has only been two years, and I fully expected Chat GPT to put Steve Prohm on this list.

Stanz: Who are the 10 best Iowa State athletes ever?

Chat GPT: Here are 10 of the most accomplished and successful Iowa State athletes across various sports:

1. Cael Sanderson, Wrestling
2. Fred Hoiberg, Basketball
3. Seneca Wallace, Football
4. Betsy Saina, Track and Field
5. Troy Davis, Football
6. Georges Niang, Basketball
7. Jake Varner, Wrestling
8. Bridget Carleton, Basketball
9. Nick Weiler-Babb, Basketball
10. Martin Smith, Track and Field

Analysis: Okay, the inclusion of the former track coach as one of the 10 best athletes in Iowa State history might need to mark the end of this exercise.

Jared Stansbury

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Jared a native of Clarinda, Iowa, started as the Cyclone Fanatic intern in August 2013, primarily working as a videographer until starting on the women’s basketball beat prior to the 2014-15 season. Upon earning his Bachelor’s degree in Journalism and Mass Communication from Iowa State in May 2016, Jared was hired as the site’s full-time staff writer, taking over as the primary day-to-day reporter on football and men’s basketball. He was elevated to the position of managing editor in January 2020. He is a regular contributor on 1460 KXNO in Des Moines and makes regular guest appearances on radio stations across the Midwest. Jared resides in Ankeny with his four-year-old puggle, Lolo.

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