By Brent Blum, CycloneFanatic.com Columnist
I am not good at many things. My athletic ability peaked at nine years old when I torched the South Des Moines area fourth graders for six touchdowns and an estimated 276 all-purpose yards in a flag football game. My grade point average never threatened to make me a Rhodes Scholar and I have botched the Easy-Mac cooking process on more than one occasion. But there is one aspect in life where I assume I rank in the upper echelon of the world standings. I am the self-proclaimed LeBron James of worthless sports information.
At the age of 10, I would "take my talents" to the local Damon’s rib joint on Monday nights for their weekly sports trivia game. I’m sure you’ve seen these contests before in which a bunch of middle-aged dudes drink their Blue Moon’s and punch away at wireless boxes to answer random facts with questions like, "Who was the third king of Namibia?"
Well, Monday nights were always sports night and consistently drew a large crowd. Like a silent assassin, I cleaned up on these nights like Matt Damon at the poker table in “Rounders.” The prize was always a free 32 oz. beer, so the only reward I could receive was the satisfaction of humbling a bunch of insurance agents. And that remains one of the few uses for this supposed “skill-set.”
Having an expertise in sports knowledge is about as useful as knowing Scarlett Johansson’s vitals. You may be able impress drunk guys at a bar, but it frightens a good portion of the rest of humanity. And that, apparently, is my lot in life.
With that in mind, here’s a test to see how much you really know about Cyclone Football. Get them right and maybe we can have a John Wayne style showdown on Williams’ next Vlog. The answers follow below, so I suggest you write down them down before scrolling. These are definitely not for the faint of heart. Googling and use of the Media Guide is for cowards. As Herm Edwards would say, "Be a man. Put your name on it!"
1. Dan McCarney’s 1st conference road win was where? (2 points)
2. Ellis Hobbs went to what high school? (2 points)
3. Who was the other Cyclone defensive player besides Brent Curvey that scored a Touchdown in the Tornado game against CU in 2005. (2 points)
4. The last Cyclone to clear 175 yards rushing in a single game was who? (2 points)
5. Name the last 6 Iowa State offensive coordinators. (3 points– 1/2 point for each correct answer)
6. When and where was Iowa State’s last win at an active NFL Stadium? (4 points)
7. Name the Cyclone QB that Sage Rosenfels beat out in 1999 to become the starter. (5 points)
8. What was the name of the Minnesota player that returned two kicks for TD’s against Iowa State in 1997? (5 points)
9. Name the 7 OT games in Iowa State history. (7 points–1 each)
10. Name the starting Quarterback and Running Back of the Nebraska team that Iowa State knocked off in 2002. It was the Cyclones 1st win against Nebraska in 10 years. (6 points–3 for each correct answer)
11. Seneca Wallace transferred to Iowa State from what Community College? What BCS school did he originally attend out of high school? (6 points–3 for each)
12. Name the three running backs that gained over 300 yards for Iowa State in 2002. (6 points–2 for each)
13. Name the last Iowa State wide receiver to be drafted in the NFL? (10 points)
14. Iowa State’s last football game against a PAC 10 team was against who? (10 points)
15. Iowa State has had one play over 80 yards in the last 13 years. Who was involved and where did it happen? (10 points)
80 points total.
1. Missouri. The Cyclones defeated the Tigers 24-21 on October 16, 1999. It was their first conference road win in EIGHT years.
2. Desoto HS (TX). Ellis originally committed to the good guys as a running back. He became arguably the best defensive player of the decade.
3. Steve "Greedy" Paris. Paris took a Lawrence Vickers fumble 66 yards to the house.
4. Ryan Kock. He ran for 179 yards in McCarney’s curtain call game against Mizzou in 2006. It’s a current streak of 38 games without a back over 175 yards. Just for fun, Troy Davis rushed for 175 in ONE quarter against Mizzou in 1996. That’s just stupid.
5. Tom Herman, Robert McFarland, Barney Cotton, Steve Brickey, Steve Loney, Pete Hoener. As I learned on Sesame Street, "some of these things are not like the others."
6. Superdome against Tulane in 1989. Cyclones won 25-24. Losses in the Metrodome (1997) Arrowhead Stadium (2002, 2009, 2010) and Houston’s Reliant Stadium (2005) have followed.
7. Derrick Walker. The JUCO transfer split snaps with Sage in the first 2 games of the 1999 season. Sage emerged as the starter and Walker spent the year as the back-up QB. Impressively, he switched to linebacker prior to his senior year, became the starter and was 3rd on the team in tackles.
8. Tutu Atwell. Yes a man named Tutu still gives me nightmares. Tutu scampered for an 89 yard and 93 yard TD in a 53-29 Gopher win at the Metrodome. Despite his 2 TD’s, Iowa State actually led 29-28 when the 4th quarter started. Needless to say, it was an epic collapse. And yes I’m bitter Iowa State hasn’t had a kick-off return for 16 years and Tutu had "Tu" within minutes.
9. UNLV (’08 loss) Toledo (’06-win!), Kansas (’05 loss) Mizzou (’05 loss) Nebraska (’05 loss) Mizzou (’04 loss) Wyoming (’96 loss). I’m not even mentioning the calamities in ’04 and ’05. You remember those well. But the game in ’96 against Wyoming is an oft- forgotten debacle. Iowa State led 38-23 mid-way thru the 4th quarter, only to see the Cowboys rally to tie. College OT had just been instituted in ’96 and this was one of the first games to be impacted. The Cyclones won the toss and chose to go on offense first. Oops. Jamie Kohl missed a FG and Wyoming made their FG. Imagine if CycloneFanatic existed after that game.
10. QB-Jamaal Lord RB-Dahran Diedrick. I will also accept RB David Horne as an answer. I’m in a giving mood.
11. Sacramento City College. Oregon State. The Beavers recruited Wallace as a Cornerback. Just think how history is different if he ends up there. Blows your mind, huh.
12. Hiawatha Rutland, Michael Wagner, Brian Thompson. Wags and Hiawatha are the easy ones. But Thompson is the odd-ball here. He had a great start as a freshman in ’02 rushing for 96 yards and 2 TD’s in one quarter in his debut against KU– the 2nd game of the season. But generally fell off the map after, playing mostly on special teams in his sophomore year before transferring to Illinois State. He later played against the Cyclones, rushing for 60 yards for the Redbirds in the ’05 season opener.
13. Tracey Henderson, 5th round, 1985. Yes, it has been 25 years since Iowa State had a WR drafted. J.J. Moses had significant playing time in the NFL, but he was a free agent signing. According to ProFootballReference.com, there have been 67 wide receivers taken from the Big 8/Big 12 conference since Henderson was selected, including a dude named Buster Rhymes from Oklahoma in the ’80s.
14. UCLA, 1975. The Cyclones lost in Pasadena 39-21 in September of ’75. Iowa State is 2-8 all-time against the Pac-10. With wins coming at home against UCLA 20-0 in 1920 and 14-0 at Arizona in 1958. That ’58 squad also won on the road at San Jose State, proving Coolio’s famous lyrics, "Ain’t no party like a west coast party."
15. Cris Love to Lane Danielsen-80 yards @ Texas Tech-October 11th, 2003.
GRADING SCALE LEVELS
0-25 points: Gerrin Scott: You are likeable, but not good enough to compete with the big boys.
25-50 points: Todd Bandhauer: You made some great answers, but couldn’t convert the tough ones.
50-70 points: Seneca Wallace: If only you had those few questions back, or that game against UCONN.
70-80 points: Troy Davis: Your name will be recited for years to come. Congrats. You have my admiration.