Quarterly roundup of amusing comments/quips I encountered on Cyclone Fanatic, July-September 2024.
If anyone recalls a nugget I missed, please add to thread.
Key:
Bold is thread title (or summary of it)
*** indicates break in narrative flow.
Some entries have been edited for clarity, brevity, spelling and all that.
Konrardy’s Meaty Clackers
BLTs
@MJ29: Miracle Whip belongs in the trash.
***
@JM4CY: Some of you need to calm your t*ts. It’s a BLT. If it’s not broke, there’s no reason you hippies need to change it.
***
@cycloner29: When I was growing up, my mom used to make a pork-and-bean, bacon and tomato sandwich.
@Gonzo: You guys must have spent a lot on napkins.
Do you wash your meat?
@isucyfan: I saw a social media post of someone cooking steaks on a flat-top grill, and she opened a package of steaks and put them directly on the grill. The comments were filled with people outraged/disgusted that she didn't wash the steaks first. I've never done this, but apparently people do. What are your thoughts?
@cowgirl836: Husband sometimes does, sometimes doesn't.
Do you beat your meat?
(some entries suggested by @CycloneRulzzz)
@Jer: The washing-your-meat thread got me wondering. I've never been a fan of tenderizing meat, although I will do chicken breasts occasionally, mostly to get a more even thickness. The problem I've always had with chicken, it breaks apart easy without a perfect amount of pressure.
@aeroclone: You are doing it wrong. With chicken, you really need more of a choking motion.
@cytor: True ... and if baloney is involved, it's best to use a bopping technique.
Too many swimming and track events at Olympics
@Rabbuk: Does anyone over age 10 care about total medal count?
@KnappShack: With this attitude, we never would've won the cold war. Suck it, Brezhnev!
***
@pourcyne: What's ridiculous are the dressage and eventing competitions, because the rider gets the medal and the horse doesn't get anything.
Interesting NCAA committee news
(T-Rank and WAB added to NCAA basketball team sheets)
@cytor: No idea what I am reading here.
@dahliaclone: Mainly the TRank and Torvik news, because those are discussed greatly on here during the season as two of the best metrics.
@pourcyne: I believe T-Rank was the stinkiest of the dinosaurs.
@3TrueFans: WAB … Wet Ass Bussy?
pourcyne: I'm a geezer, but even I know that WAB stands for "white-a** biotch.”
Worst national anthem sung
@KnappShack: We had to learn the lyrics back in middle school. Teacher walks in after the test and writes "donzerly" on the board. "Can anyone tell me what that word means?" It's amazing that we actually won the Cold War.
Most famous/greatest athlete from Iowa is likely an unknown
@Drew0311: This list is the worst I have ever seen. My history on Pornhub is less obscene than this list.
@CyCrazy: Let's not get carried away...
Friday OT: How Sweet It Is
@Angie: What is your favorite kind/brand of candy? Sour, chocolate, fruity? Are you faithful to one type?
@coolerifyoudid: I can best answer this question by agreeing with most responses in this thread.
***
@Mr Janny: I see black licorice as proof that the days of the past were bleak as ****. I can only imagine how ****** your life would have to be, to consider black licorice a "treat" and not some horrible punishment for not shoveling enough coal into the blast furnace at the factory you're forced to work at, because your father died from cholera the previous winter.
Did your juice go out?
@FLYINGCYCLONE: Juice went out late morning in southern Kossuth County and part of Humboldt County. Anyone else?
@JEFF420: it took me like 3 minutes to figure out what you were talking about.
New NCAA scholarship limits
@1UNI2ISU: Iowa State adding equestrian and rowing solves the Title IX problem immediately.
@Daserop: I don't think you realize how expensive horses are.
What the hell is going on with this ad bar on top of CF?
@CyCrazy: Is it just me? It drives me nuts.
@stormchaser2014: Also, getting a lot of bikini and legging ads. Not complaining, just informing.
Big 12 Conference Realignment
@PFlatts: Are we talking conference realignment, or arguing about Detroit? I'm confused.
@RagingCloner: Neither, actually. We’re arguing about how bad the press box is.
***
@t-noah: When things bifurcate, all will be well.
@Pope: Is bifurcate when you poop twice?
What is your ONE regret in life (so far)?
@snowcraig2.0: Oversharing information on CF regarding child school pick-up logistics.
Personal Best
@cydnote: After watching the Olympics, have you ever thought you could have been competitive on a national level or world level? Caveat: You could have sufficient training and time to pursue your interest. If so, what event?
@pourcyne: Used to be pretty good at jumping to conclusions.
***
@VeloClone: I could have qualified for the 2024 Olympics in the women's 800 meters with my high school PR. But, alas, I ran that almost 40 years ago, and I am not a woman.
@BigTurk: And you will never be a woman with that attitude!
CF is a RAM hog
@jdcyclone19: Anyone else having issues with CF bogging down the web browsers? Only website I have this issue with.
@BCClone: Never complain about ramming your hog.
Days Until Kickoff
@IlliniCy: Alex Espinosa had the fastball of Nolan Ryan and the accuracy of Ray Charles.
North Dakota Week Discussion Thread
@clonedude: Anyone with inside info... how bad are the OL injuries?
@CycloneVet: All are in critical condition.
@JM4CY: Yep. Hufford threw a rager off Hunt Street for the line. Beer bongs off the roof and the damn thing collapsed. They all lost limbs.
CycloneVet: So, only day-to-day?
Realignment megathread
@FriendlySpartan: Yeah and notice how Nebby will get told to sit down and shut up the way they always do in the Big Ten. They can ask all they want, same as I can ask for a threesome with Sydney Sweeny and Ana de Armas.
@ClubCy: Hey, the line starts behind me, pal.
College Football Survivor Week 1
@ImJustKCClone: FINALLY got the spreadsheet done and ready for tracking picks. Then took about an hour to decide where to start.
@cyzygy11: KC, I appreciate the fact that you are in possession of a "spreadsheet,” but you must know that in preparation for this challenge, I have constructed, within the newly-formed engrams of my mind, memory palaces that can summon the data points necessary to achieve advancement. The difference between success and failure rests on the knife's edge of chance and probability. Once again, I wish everyone the best of luck.
ImJustKCClone: So far, we're at 134 participants. My brain is no longer capable of forming that many new engrams. Consequently, I need spreadsheets.
***Official Iowa State vs. Iowa game(day) thread***
@Turn2: Imagine having the worst offense in a game that also features the Iowa offense.
***
@WartburgClone (after the game): I’m gonna pass out.
Blowout wins/loss in sports
@Kinch: In 1905, Iowa State beat Simpson 63-0.
@madguy30: What a great day. Of course, I had to walk to the game, since we didn’t have a car yet.
Why is Mouser dropping TLC reference?
(Nominated by @JM4CY)
@Malty Flannel: Can’t wait for Heacock to step up to the podium and call Hines a chickenfu**ker.
If anyone recalls a nugget I missed, please add to thread.
Key:
Bold is thread title (or summary of it)
*** indicates break in narrative flow.
Some entries have been edited for clarity, brevity, spelling and all that.
- In case you missed it: Notable Posts: Q2 2024
Konrardy’s Meaty Clackers
BLTs
@MJ29: Miracle Whip belongs in the trash.
***
@JM4CY: Some of you need to calm your t*ts. It’s a BLT. If it’s not broke, there’s no reason you hippies need to change it.
***
@cycloner29: When I was growing up, my mom used to make a pork-and-bean, bacon and tomato sandwich.
@Gonzo: You guys must have spent a lot on napkins.
Do you wash your meat?
@isucyfan: I saw a social media post of someone cooking steaks on a flat-top grill, and she opened a package of steaks and put them directly on the grill. The comments were filled with people outraged/disgusted that she didn't wash the steaks first. I've never done this, but apparently people do. What are your thoughts?
@cowgirl836: Husband sometimes does, sometimes doesn't.
Do you beat your meat?
(some entries suggested by @CycloneRulzzz)
@Jer: The washing-your-meat thread got me wondering. I've never been a fan of tenderizing meat, although I will do chicken breasts occasionally, mostly to get a more even thickness. The problem I've always had with chicken, it breaks apart easy without a perfect amount of pressure.
@aeroclone: You are doing it wrong. With chicken, you really need more of a choking motion.
@cytor: True ... and if baloney is involved, it's best to use a bopping technique.
Too many swimming and track events at Olympics
@Rabbuk: Does anyone over age 10 care about total medal count?
@KnappShack: With this attitude, we never would've won the cold war. Suck it, Brezhnev!
***
@pourcyne: What's ridiculous are the dressage and eventing competitions, because the rider gets the medal and the horse doesn't get anything.
Interesting NCAA committee news
(T-Rank and WAB added to NCAA basketball team sheets)
@cytor: No idea what I am reading here.
@dahliaclone: Mainly the TRank and Torvik news, because those are discussed greatly on here during the season as two of the best metrics.
@pourcyne: I believe T-Rank was the stinkiest of the dinosaurs.
@3TrueFans: WAB … Wet Ass Bussy?
pourcyne: I'm a geezer, but even I know that WAB stands for "white-a** biotch.”
Worst national anthem sung
@KnappShack: We had to learn the lyrics back in middle school. Teacher walks in after the test and writes "donzerly" on the board. "Can anyone tell me what that word means?" It's amazing that we actually won the Cold War.
Most famous/greatest athlete from Iowa is likely an unknown
@Drew0311: This list is the worst I have ever seen. My history on Pornhub is less obscene than this list.
@CyCrazy: Let's not get carried away...
Friday OT: How Sweet It Is
@Angie: What is your favorite kind/brand of candy? Sour, chocolate, fruity? Are you faithful to one type?
@coolerifyoudid: I can best answer this question by agreeing with most responses in this thread.
***
@Mr Janny: I see black licorice as proof that the days of the past were bleak as ****. I can only imagine how ****** your life would have to be, to consider black licorice a "treat" and not some horrible punishment for not shoveling enough coal into the blast furnace at the factory you're forced to work at, because your father died from cholera the previous winter.
Did your juice go out?
@FLYINGCYCLONE: Juice went out late morning in southern Kossuth County and part of Humboldt County. Anyone else?
@JEFF420: it took me like 3 minutes to figure out what you were talking about.
New NCAA scholarship limits
@1UNI2ISU: Iowa State adding equestrian and rowing solves the Title IX problem immediately.
@Daserop: I don't think you realize how expensive horses are.
What the hell is going on with this ad bar on top of CF?
@CyCrazy: Is it just me? It drives me nuts.
@stormchaser2014: Also, getting a lot of bikini and legging ads. Not complaining, just informing.
Big 12 Conference Realignment
@PFlatts: Are we talking conference realignment, or arguing about Detroit? I'm confused.
@RagingCloner: Neither, actually. We’re arguing about how bad the press box is.
***
@t-noah: When things bifurcate, all will be well.
@Pope: Is bifurcate when you poop twice?
What is your ONE regret in life (so far)?
@snowcraig2.0: Oversharing information on CF regarding child school pick-up logistics.
Personal Best
@cydnote: After watching the Olympics, have you ever thought you could have been competitive on a national level or world level? Caveat: You could have sufficient training and time to pursue your interest. If so, what event?
@pourcyne: Used to be pretty good at jumping to conclusions.
***
@VeloClone: I could have qualified for the 2024 Olympics in the women's 800 meters with my high school PR. But, alas, I ran that almost 40 years ago, and I am not a woman.
@BigTurk: And you will never be a woman with that attitude!
CF is a RAM hog
@jdcyclone19: Anyone else having issues with CF bogging down the web browsers? Only website I have this issue with.
@BCClone: Never complain about ramming your hog.
Days Until Kickoff
@IlliniCy: Alex Espinosa had the fastball of Nolan Ryan and the accuracy of Ray Charles.
North Dakota Week Discussion Thread
@clonedude: Anyone with inside info... how bad are the OL injuries?
@CycloneVet: All are in critical condition.
@JM4CY: Yep. Hufford threw a rager off Hunt Street for the line. Beer bongs off the roof and the damn thing collapsed. They all lost limbs.
CycloneVet: So, only day-to-day?
Realignment megathread
@FriendlySpartan: Yeah and notice how Nebby will get told to sit down and shut up the way they always do in the Big Ten. They can ask all they want, same as I can ask for a threesome with Sydney Sweeny and Ana de Armas.
@ClubCy: Hey, the line starts behind me, pal.
College Football Survivor Week 1
@ImJustKCClone: FINALLY got the spreadsheet done and ready for tracking picks. Then took about an hour to decide where to start.
@cyzygy11: KC, I appreciate the fact that you are in possession of a "spreadsheet,” but you must know that in preparation for this challenge, I have constructed, within the newly-formed engrams of my mind, memory palaces that can summon the data points necessary to achieve advancement. The difference between success and failure rests on the knife's edge of chance and probability. Once again, I wish everyone the best of luck.
ImJustKCClone: So far, we're at 134 participants. My brain is no longer capable of forming that many new engrams. Consequently, I need spreadsheets.
***Official Iowa State vs. Iowa game(day) thread***
@Turn2: Imagine having the worst offense in a game that also features the Iowa offense.
***
@WartburgClone (after the game): I’m gonna pass out.
Blowout wins/loss in sports
@Kinch: In 1905, Iowa State beat Simpson 63-0.
@madguy30: What a great day. Of course, I had to walk to the game, since we didn’t have a car yet.
Why is Mouser dropping TLC reference?
(Nominated by @JM4CY)
@Malty Flannel: Can’t wait for Heacock to step up to the podium and call Hines a chickenfu**ker.
