I don't care to learn about it that much.
What are they doing that requires you to watch the kid(s)? Assuming it's holiday prep like cleaning, baking/cooking, grocery shopping, etc could you swap tasks? They might appreciate the break from being "responsible" for doing all the other stuff.
ADHD is a very inaccurate label. Executive disfunction is what it is. But we call it ADHD. Anyway, it is something you are born with and it is amplified by trauma and stress. Basically an ADHD brain is a FLOODLIGHT, it illuminates everything in the environment. This trait was crucial in hunter gather societies. It is how our species survived. An ADHD brain or person is more than likely going to spot colors, which means food, or movement like an animal disappearing in a tree line. Nothing in the environment has priority. In Vietnam, you want the ADHD brain on point, since all stimulus has equal priority, that person is going to pick up on an ambush easier. Whereas a neurotypical brain is a FLASHLIGHT. Can hone in on a single stimulus easier. Nuerotypical brains were valued when we started farming, the ability to sequence and plan. People with ADHD brains often have a lot of gifts, like creativity, good problem solving abilities and out of the box thinking. They often develop unique coping mechanisms out of necessity that allows them to succeed at a lot of endeavors. The problem is they are bombarded with negative feedback from their environment. For example the typical person with ADHD gets criticized at an extremely hight rate by the time they are 18 compared to a person with a neurotypical brain. Many people come at them with their challenges as if they have character flaws. People, as Jeffersontwp above get frustrated.
This is crucial. There is nothing "wrong" with the OP's spouse, and there is nothing "wrong" with the OP for having some resentment. But it takes open communication and probably some negotiating, compromise, and a lot of compassion for a while as everyone tries to change their behaviors.
My spouse is the kid. I do the household chores, car maintenance, financials, refill prescriptions etc. Spouse will mow the yard but never finishes it. Claims “I’ll get that area next time “. Is always behind on projects at work but is his own boss so only threat is losing client.
No, I think they were pointing out that as one of the largest employers of software developers on the planet Google is overrun with people with AuDHD.
Sorry, I thought you meant literal child care, not that you felt like you are a parent rather than a spouse.
It’s the medical term for Procrastination.
