IHSAA Memo to Parents on Behavior

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https://www.iahsaa.org/wp-content/u...aEcmearT9OIVaHMRg7tjQIeVzg9uJd-zjUHQZsdFiCOhs

Inappropriate adult behaviors at high school athletic events across the country have reached epidemic proportion.

When more than 2,000 high school athletic directors were asked in a recent national survey what they like least about their job, 62.3 percent said it was, “dealing with aggressive parents and adult fans.”

And the men and women who referee or umpire those contests agree. In fact, almost 60% of new officials registered in Iowa in 2016-17 did not return to officiate in 2017-18, and unruly parents are often cited as a major reason why. As a result, there is a growing shortage of high school officials here in Iowa, and in baseball, football, track and field, and wrestling, the IHSAA is seeing record lows. No officials means no games.

If you are a parent attending a high school athletic event this fall, you can help by following these six guidelines:

1. Act your age. You are, after all, an adult. Act in a way that makes your family and school proud.

2. Don’t live vicariously through your children. High school sports are for them, not you. Your family’s reputation is not determined by how well your children perform on the field of play.

3. Let your children talk to the coach instead of doing it for them. High school athletes learn how to become more confident, independent and capable—but only when their parents don’t jump in and solve their problems for them.

4. Stay in your own lane. No coaching or officiating from the sidelines. Your role is to be a responsible, supportive parent, not a coach or official.

5. Remember: Participating in a high school sport is not about a college scholarship. According to the NCAA, only about 2% of all high school athletes are awarded a sports scholarship, and the average total value of that scholarship is only around $18,000.

6. Make sure your children know you love watching them play. Do not critique your child’s performance on the car ride home. Participating in high school sports is about character development, learning and having fun—not winning and losing.

Purchasing a ticket to a high school sporting event does not give you the right to be rude, disrespectful, or verbally abusive. Cheer loud and be proud, but please also be responsible and considerate as a spectator.

The future of high school sports in Iowa is dependent on you.
 

beentherebefore

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A similar memo probably should go out to all the helicopter parents in all areas of education and activities.

High school coaches and referees have to really love what they do and love working with developing young people in order to take the verbal abuse that they get from some folks.
 
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GT25Ump

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Is that letter real? I'm serious, I can't believe the state was so blunt in their statements, really impressive! I've been umpiring baseball in this state for 35 years and am currently our umpire association's game assigner. We've lost 50-60% of our membership just since 2015 and it's just become brutal trying to fill all the game assignments.

So many guys dropping out of umpiring for a variety of reasons (focus on family, can't get away from work, not worth it financially) but the main issue is definitely the parents. Honestly, we get treated better by the coaches/players (who have the biggest stake in these athletic events) than the parents who are just there to watch.
 

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JM4CY

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I think it’s really a spiraling problem. I’ve done HS baseball for the last decade. Your gonna get bitched at no matter what at some level but it has gotten worse. Some of the guys I know that have stopped umping had good reasons and didn’t have the time but some did because of the ********. Problem is you then get guys kind of roped into it that really aren’t any good and thus the problem just gets worse.
 

tec71

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I officiate volleyball, and I’m constantly shocked at the behavior of some fans. Unfortunately actually I'm not terribly shocked anymore. Yes towards me and other officials it can be bad but i think the really abhorrent and more frequent behavior is towards coaches and even athletes both their own and their opponents. There are so few officials that during the volleyball season every week we get desperate pleas to officiate matches, especially sub varsity and junior high matches, or they may have to be cancelled. I don't think it can be fixed by having officials quit, and matches to be cancelled. Education won't do it because unfortunately the people that read that letter won’t likely be the people who need to self evaluate, and the ones who do need to self evaluate won't recognize it.
 
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cydsho

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Our club did a benefit soccer tournament for families of a horrible tragedy. All entry fees, all field access, all officiating, donated. One of the last games, a U16 boys, was getting very physical with someone getting off the ground and coming after a player. Parents were yelling at each other. Parents really yelling at the 15 year ref. (reffing for free) Our club official just went on the field and called the game off and "politely" said the event was not about that kind of behavior.
So yeah, if that behavior happens at a benefit game, nothing surprises me any more.
 
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KnappShack

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And the men and women who referee or umpire those contests agree. In fact, almost 60% of new officials registered in Iowa in 2016-17 did not return to officiate in 2017-18, and unruly parents are often cited as a major reason why.

I've said this before on here, but I reffed one game and I was out.

I reffed a season of kids flag football....that was about all I needed to see
 

Sigmapolis

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This reminds me of a good friend of mine from graduate school --

He had come back to graduate school after teaching high school history and social science in a little farm town in northwest Iowa for about five years. Great guy all around.

He told me he loved teaching and loved the kids but... he just could no longer deal with the parents. He said that, "If I have to get one more angry phone call about how me giving little Bobby or Susie a C in 10th Grade history is going to keep her from getting into Harvard, then I think I am going to go and throw myself off the history bridge in the county."

He eventually bailed on the field entirely and ended up a claims adjuster.
 
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ArgentCy

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This reminds me of a good friend of mine from graduate school --

He had come back to graduate school after teaching high school history and social science in a little farm town in northwest Iowa for about five years. Great guy all around.

He told me he loved teaching and loved the kids but... he just could no longer deal with the parents. He said that, "If I have to get one more angry phone call about how me giving little Bobby or Susie a C in 10th Grade history is going to keep her from getting into Harvard, then I think I am going to go and throw myself off the history bridge in the county."

He eventually bailed on the field entirely and ended up a claims adjuster.

This is only going to change when we are allowed to have frank discussions with people. Something along the lines of,

Dear delusional parent, if your child is struggling in my 10th grade history class they are miles away from getting into Harvard. They will need to have a significant change in attitude and put in many hours of study.
 

Trice

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I won't defend people's behavior, but to the extent that it is driven by parents taking kids' sports and their athletic futures too seriously, it's not hard to see why when we have feeder programs that start in second or third grade and take many hours each week, and many months out of the year. Among other things, they cost a lot and send an implicit message to parents that it's a pathway to a scholarship. It's no wonder they want a return on their investment.
 

SCNCY

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Track and Field officials are having this problem too? In my four years of running in Illinois, I never saw a parent yelling at an official. I also played and reffed soccer, so I can relate to this article.
 

Tre4ISU

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Sports have become too important to the wrong people for the wrong reasons. The money school districts spend is out of control and the weight put on an extracurricular activity is insane.

I sound like my grandpa 15 years ago. It turns out he saw where this was going. I think there are a lot of things you lose perspective in as you age but I don't think this is one of them. It wasn't like this when I was in sports. It had just started to get to the point where you were expected to be "practicing" everything all the time. Now it's to the point where you have to do so much to be on a team that kids don't have time to be kids, they don't have time to get part time summer jobs which I think are just as valuable, if not more, than being on "x" team. The sad part is a lot of the time it doesn't even seem like the kids want to do it anymore because they're burned out from playing basketball 12 months a year since they were 12 and baseball 6 months a year in the same time period.
 
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Tre4ISU

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Is that letter real? I'm serious, I can't believe the state was so blunt in their statements, really impressive! I've been umpiring baseball in this state for 35 years and am currently our umpire association's game assigner. We've lost 50-60% of our membership just since 2015 and it's just become brutal trying to fill all the game assignments.

So many guys dropping out of umpiring for a variety of reasons (focus on family, can't get away from work, not worth it financially) but the main issue is definitely the parents. Honestly, we get treated better by the coaches/players (who have the biggest stake in these athletic events) than the parents who are just there to watch.

I always wanted to get into basketball officiating. There's no way in hell that's ever happening now.