Hawkeye jokes
- Thread starter Cloney25
- Start date
Did you hear about the Hawkeye who was dared by his buddies to blow up a school bus?? He got third degree burns on his lips from the exhaust pipe........
I think it was something like: There were five D-I prospects in the state this year. We got three of them. One didn't go to college. And the other one went to Iowa, which is like not going to college.
A Cyclone fan, a UNI fan, and a Hawkeye fan were traveling down I-80 one day. The Cyclone fan thinks he sees something in the ditch, so they stop and back up for a look. The three men get out of the car, and sure enough, there is a dead, naked woman in the ditch. After calling 911 on his cell phone, the Cyclone fan places his Iowa State hat over the woman's left breast in an attempt to restore a little dignity. The Panther fan follows and places his UNI hat over the woman's right breast. The Hawkeye fan is a little slow, of course, but finally takes the clue and places his Iowa hat over the woman's crotch. A few minutes later, a state trooper pulls up and walks over to the body. After a few seconds he leans down, lifts up the Iowa State hat, then puts it back down. Then, he picks up the UNI hat, then puts it down. Finally, he picks up the Hawkeye hat and puts it down. Then picks it up. And puts it down. Then picks it up. Then puts it down. Again. And again. The Cyclone fan finally approaches the trooper and says, "What the heck are you doing? Are you some kind of pervert?" The trooper responds in a confused tone, "No. It's just that, usually I find an a$$hole under one of these."
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Here are a few Hawkeye jokes that are very tough to beat:
5. Ed Podolak and Gary Dolphin
4. Steve Alford's hair
3. Iowa's wrestling singlets in 1987 that had the roman numeral 10 on the leg to signify their 10th straight NCAA title. (Only problem was Iowa State won)
2. The Hawkeye logo.
AND FINALLY...DRUM ROLL PLEASE....
1. Kirk Ferentz will earn over $4 M this year.
5. Ed Podolak and Gary Dolphin
4. Steve Alford's hair
3. Iowa's wrestling singlets in 1987 that had the roman numeral 10 on the leg to signify their 10th straight NCAA title. (Only problem was Iowa State won)
2. The Hawkeye logo.
AND FINALLY...DRUM ROLL PLEASE....
1. Kirk Ferentz will earn over $4 M this year.
Ooh, ooh, ooh...almost forgot.
ESPN picking Iowa as one of the top four teams in the nation prior to the season. Good move, boys.
ESPN picking Iowa as one of the top four teams in the nation prior to the season. Good move, boys.
First year english class for men's basketball students:
The professor asks, "What comes right after a sentance?" All in the class raise their hands and shout, "the appeal!"
The professor asks, "What comes right after a sentance?" All in the class raise their hands and shout, "the appeal!"
The huge Hawkeye freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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After the first day of football practice one guy asked Drew Tate, "Drew, do you know that you have a cork in your a--?" Drew simply says "yea."
The other guy says "Well, doesn't it hurt?"
"yea, but i can't take it out." Confused, has asks "why not?" Drew says "well, over the summer i was walking on the beach and i found a bottle with a cork in it. So, i pulled the cork out and a genie popped out and said that she will grant me one wish. So I said "NO S---!!!!!"
The other guy says "Well, doesn't it hurt?"
"yea, but i can't take it out." Confused, has asks "why not?" Drew says "well, over the summer i was walking on the beach and i found a bottle with a cork in it. So, i pulled the cork out and a genie popped out and said that she will grant me one wish. So I said "NO S---!!!!!"
The best one I ever heard was off of this board so bear with me in repeating it.
A farmer hears a muffled sound coming from the hind end of his cow. He lifts the tail to hear the Iowa fight song. He gets really excited and goes to the vet and asks the vet to take a look at the cow. The vet lifts the tail, hears the Iowa fight song and says to the farmer "I've been hearing that song coming from @ssh&les all my life!!!" LOVE IT!!!!
A farmer hears a muffled sound coming from the hind end of his cow. He lifts the tail to hear the Iowa fight song. He gets really excited and goes to the vet and asks the vet to take a look at the cow. The vet lifts the tail, hears the Iowa fight song and says to the farmer "I've been hearing that song coming from @ssh&les all my life!!!" LOVE IT!!!!
