First time parent advice, tips, tricks, etc.

[ca4cy]

Enjoy the moments, especially the ones that don't seem like a big deal. There will come a time when you'll leave for work in the morning and notice changes when you get home that night.

It's unreal how fast it all goes. When in doubt, hug them and tell them you love them. You can't do either too much and a lot of the time it does you more good than it does them.

Take good care of your wife especially right away. Hormones can be a real *****. Always do your share, and read the moment well enough to know when you need to do more than that.

Congrats. It changes things and there's no manual or perfect way to do things. You'll screw up. Learn to forgive yourself and the kids. They're expensive, and there will be times when you want to beat your head against the wall but the feeling of being a parent is something I wouldn't trade for anything

 

[CycloneNorth]

Just had our first 6 weeks ago. Number 1 suggestion for sleep is to buy the Moms on Call books and use their schedule (assuming you’re baby is healthy)

I was very skeptical but I can honestly say that neither my wife and I have been exhausted at any point and we both stopped napping after Week 2.

 

[JP4CY]

Take good care of your wife especially right away. Hormones can be a real *****. Always do your share, and read the moment well enough to know when you need to do more than that.

I would say this is key but to do MORE than your fair share.

 

[JP4CY]

OH, a big OH. Take your kid to a lot of places before they can walk and enjoy it. Breweries, games, etc, because once they're mobile, you are on constant look out duty.

 

[JM4CY]

If a boy, have a pair of stones and name him Georges.

 

[BCClone]

See if you can do any of the daycare. Ours decided to take a day off (Thursdays) so I would juggle my schedule to be home during that. Took a lot of “field trips” to the store and other places when they were a year or so old. Goes fast. Feels like our oldest is still five (he’s a freshman at ISU).

They will do what you do. Curse, they will pick it up. Smoke, expect to find stolen cigs or the smell of smoke on them. Be polite and nice to people, they will do the same (except to you, you will think you have the meanest kids while everyone tells you they are so well mannered). You are their role models from day one.

Which leads me to the last point, let them know that the hawks suck.

 

[cyclonetrent]

My wife and I are also expecting our first in June. I appreciate all the advice here!

 

[JM4CY]

Also, it was mentioned by someone else, the daycare thing can be an absolute freaking sh*tshow of a thing to deal with. Ask around, a lot. Find out what they want paid, when, how many vacation days if that even exists. Get working on it now because your already late on that. Finding the right place can save you so much hassle and even more money.

 

[greatshu]

Congrats! You need to start looking at the Daycare now and see where you want your baby to go. Finding "daycare" may stress you out, but that will work itself out eventually. Do lot of research where you want your kid to go. In-home daycares are just as good as big centers especially first year. I am not sure the going rate in DSM/Ankeny, but where I am (Lawrence, KS) is anywhere from $150-250 a week is for in-homes and $900+ for centers for infants. My guess is DSM/Ankeny is somewhat similar.

It's okay to make mistakes, don't listen to what others say about how you should be raising your child. Figure out what works the best for you. Don't let others scare you or feel bad about yourself. Honestly, they can go f themselves if they are making you feel like crap about how you are raising your child.

If you are nervous about pregnancy and delivery, you can always hire a doula. I was clueless about everything and my doula really helped us with anxiety and stress we experienced.

Take a trip or two before your baby arrives and enjoy your last minute freedom We went to Destin, Florida (two months prior) with Iowa State MBB and Hawaii (7 months prior) and they were BLAST.

If you need more advice, feel free to message me. Congrats again!

 

[Trice]

Congratulations. Babies are great, especially other people's.

The baby industry is a lot like the funeral and wedding industries in that it's ripe for suckers. You're a captive customer with a lot of family and friends paying close attention, so there are a lot of marketing dollars spent to make sure you pay a premium to get the "best" for your baby. Tune out the marketing, solicit reliable recommendations, and only buy what you need.

We were given a good book recommendation to help us navigate what to buy. They update this book every couple years or so with new products, prices, and reviews so you know what you actually will need and what you won't so you can make educated decisions. We bought our version in the mid-2000s so I would imagine it looks a lot different now, and the rise of online review sites like The Wirecutter are probably just as valuable.

Daycare is a total mess. Get on it early. If you can find a good, reliable, reasonably-priced in-home provider hold on to her and never let her go.

It's a cliche to say it but they grow up fast. Mine are only middle school age but I still often find myself wondering where the hell those years went.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Baby wipes are worth more than gold for the first year. Stock up.
Get a stroller with wheels that will go on uneven surfaces. We had a really nice expensive one with wheels that seemed to only work on perfectly smooth sidewalks and barely used it.

Don't worry about being perfect. Look around you at some of the idiots that you know that managed to keep their kid alive and take solace knowing that you're gonna do better than them.

 

[KnappShack]

Congrats! We have a 6 month old and it's been a ride. You'll get all kinds of unsolicited advice and a good part of it is from the 70s and considered dangerous today.

My list of recommendations is a long one, but at the top of the list is this baby monitor. Not cheap, but it has allowed us to get some sleep as new parents. It monitors movement, oxygen, pulse, etc. and will fire off an alarm if everything isn't good

Second best thing was something I read. Your child is pretty durable but don't bounce him like a basketball


Owlet Smart Pink Sock Baby Monitor - Track Heart Rate & Oxygen Levels - With Smart Notifications - See Hours Slept and Historical Trends - The Ultimate Baby Monitor for Peace of Mind Amazon product

 

[Colorado]

This advice is more for later - Say what you mean and mean what you say

When they're 4 and you tell them that if they don't put their toys away, they will lose those toys then follow through. Lay the groundwork now for the teenage years.

 

[JP4CY]

I am not sure the going rate in DSM/Ankeny, but where I am (Lawrence, KS) is anywhere from $150-250 a week is for in-homes and $900+ for centers for infants. My guess is DSM/Ankeny is somewhat similar.

If you live in DM suburbia I don't know of many centers for under $250wk for infants.

 

[BuffettClone]

Don't be afraid to tell people your aren't taking visitors.

Enjoy the little time. It goes by faaaaaaaaast.

Don't name your kid Hayden.

I bolded this part because it is more important than some might think, especially for a first time mother. She will be going through a lot of emotions/stress and needs some time to bond with the baby and figure some things out without all sorts of family and friends coming in and "needing" to hold the baby.

 

[BCClone]

Also, don’t do as my the brother of my wife’s friend did. Do not knock up another woman during the last trimester. That seemed to be a mess for him.

 

[Gonzo]

I'm sure you'll get plenty of video and photos of the lil' peanut over the years, especially when he/she is young, which is great.

But at the same time, try to not live your life through a viewfinder. It's ok to have special moments that are just you and your wife's, without recording them for everyone else. Worrying about whether something's in focus or needs zoomed or whatever can take away from the magic of the moment. It's about balance.

 

[oldman]

Whatever you do, NEVER EVER forget to pick them up from school/daycare/etc.

And if you do, do not post here about forgetting to pick them up. Twice.

Never take advice from Snowcraig.

 

[CtownCyclone]

The baby industry is a lot like the funeral and wedding industries in that it's ripe for suckers. You're a captive customer with a lot of family and friends paying close attention, so there are a lot of marketing dollars spent to make sure you pay a premium to get the best for your baby. Tune out the marketing, solicit reliable recommendations, and only buy what you need.

This is so true it's not even funny. Plus, hormones will be messing with Momma, so she'll decide that the $1000 stroller really is necessary, or that a baby wipe warmer is just what the nursery needs.

Don't skimp on the car seat, though. Buy one new, make sure you know how to install it. For the little ones, we liked the Graco Click-Connect ones. When baby falls asleep in the car, you can just pull the carrier out and bring them inside. Plus, it can go right to the stroller as well, so that's less for you to mess around with.

And make sure you try the car seat out in your car! I have a friend who bought a gigantic one that didn't fit in their back seat. Didn't realize it until time to pick up the kid from the hospital.

 

[KnappShack]

If you live in DM suburbia I don't know of many centers for under $250wk for infants.

We are pretty far north of that number for 3 days a week.