Why is life worth living?

[Drew0311]

1,000% this. I was never on it but wife is and from what I see all FB has become are parents bragging on their kids, people bragging about being on a beach somewhere, and pretty much everyone trying to present themselves as having a life that's 100x better than it actually is. So of course people look at all that and wonder "Why isn't my life that perfect? Why aren't my kids that accomplished? Why am I not on a beach or relaxing by a fire with a glass of wine and smart looking book bragging about the perfect Friday night?" when in reality, I'd bet my house that the second after that pic of the book and wine and fire was taken the person who took it put the book back on the shelf, dumped the wine, poured a vodka and 7up, and turned on the Kardashians with their hand stuffed into the waistband of the pair of sweatpants they have on.

Very few post the real stuff, the problems, the sh*t stressing them out. There's no way this false existence doesn't have an effect on the anxiety and depression of others who see it.

And it's not limited to FB. All of social media is so f*cking toxic. More than once I've had to talk with our older daughter who just graduated college and sees all these people her age posting about being financially independent and living these amazing lives and being made to feel like a failure. reassuring her that what she's seeing isn't real.

I seriously f*cking hate it.

It's also a place where being more depressed and having anxiety get's you "Likes" and "poor you", here is some more attention for you. Poor me poor me poor me, here is me in Mexico at a swim up bar. It's crazyness

 

[Cyclonepride]

My life had that turn where I went through a divorce. It took about 6 months for me to recover. It was a hard 6 months. I didn't believe in Depression or Anxiety and had to find out the hard way. Now I am much strong. Been single for 7 years, will never get married again. Just be careful when you get back in the market. Their are a lot of sharks out there just looking for some guy to be with so they have someone else. Just live your life. Have fun. Go hiking, go do stuff on your own. Once you get past the crazy stuff during the divorce, it will be fun. Also, Prepare yourself for her finding a guy right away. I am talking during the divorce. It almost always happens.

I actually found dating in my late 30's easier. Knew exactly what I could and couldn't put up with, and had no qualms about just saying "nope, you are not the one". Went through a lot of false starts, but found my wife in 2006 and married her in 2008. Still going great today.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

First I just want to say is "take care." I'm out o the loop so I have no knowledge of what you're facing. It sounds as if you had shared info on cf so if you don't mind, point me to the the post if you can. I will include you in my prayers tonight for the best outcome for you.

diaclone

It's in random thoughts thread.

 

[madguy30]

Oh her and her married "boyfriend" are most likely going to end up together. They're still coworkers and had zero problem with being with one another when in separate marriages. They will 100% get together.

And it may dissolve when the 'risk' of the affair wears off.

But, even though your own emotional piece can linger for quite some time, at least that won't be your problem. A positive is, now you know and have made the decision. Things simmering open ended are the worst.

I have no advice other than focus on things you like doing, things that are new and healthy to do, and perhaps just that--focus on health like fitness, diet, time in nature, etc. Maybe it can help you retain the control over only things you can control.

On a lighter note, for yourself and ISU fandom's sake, don't you dare sit there in your new place before ISU's first tourney game, turn on the pregame, and say something like 'well, it's been a rough year but at least ISU basketball will make it all better!'.

 

[madguy30]

Hahaha she's a great person. Funny enough we were couple friends. Would do everything with them.

Well...with one of them...you still can.

I couldn't resist and we all know someone else would have said it.

 

[Statefan10]

And it may dissolve when the 'risk' of the affair wears off.

But, even though your own emotional piece can linger for quite some time, at least that won't be your problem. A positive is, now you know and have made the decision. Things simmering open ended are the worst.

I have no advice other than focus on things you like doing, things that are new and healthy to do, and perhaps just that--focus on health like fitness, diet, time in nature, etc. Maybe it can help you retain the control over only things you can control.

On a lighter note, for yourself and ISU fandom's sake, don't you dare sit there in your new place before ISU's first tourney game, turn on the pregame, and say something like 'well, it's been a rough year but at least ISU basketball will make it all better!'.

NOT A CHANCE

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

As many know the last few days have been very trying on me with want I went through Sunday. I've informed my brothers at OTN that I'm going to a temporary hiatus from doing OTN. I'm still going to do my game threads, but after basketball season I maybe on less than usual. Just really struggling right now.

Even with new locks and secure doors when I was at work today all I could focus on was if the house is okay. My mom and I have isu wbb season tickets and tonight is a big one with KSU. But I think I will pass because I won't be able to focus I'll just be worthing if the house is safe.

It takes a little while but it will get better. It was the same way for me the last time I came home to a house that had been broken into.

 

[RagingCloner]

Just came here to say that if anyone needs an ear or someone to chat with/message, Id be more than happy to volunteer. Life is ******* tough, but you dont have to go through it alone

Cant promise it will be stimulating conversation, but im willing to listen. Love and appreciate you all

 

[NWICY]

I'm also a romance writer, and I can attest that I don't necessarily want to live in the stories I write --- they're just ideas and people who live in my head and I want to put them onto paper (or screen, as it may be). Romance movies/books/etc. CAN set unrealistic expectations if people really believe that's the standard. I used to be a bit in that mindset, but when I began to accept that real romance/love is in the everyday normal things, that's when I found someone. One of my favorite love songs is "Tuesdays" by Jake Scott. It's essentially that message.

Social media can provide a lot of unrealistic views. Not just for relationships, but also for parenthood, careers, and just life in general. I've had to curate my feeds a bit to keep my motherhood expectations in check. It's not all hugs and cute photos. There are tantrums and really hard days. I had to help myself realize that just because I don't do the perfect birthday parties and my child doesn't look camera ready at all times, it doesn't mean I'm a bad mother.

So you are the person that writes all those Hallmark and Lifetime movies that my mom loves so much.

Actually if you've sold screen plays CONGRATS!!

 

[Jer]

Just came here to say that if anyone needs an ear or someone to chat with/message, Id be more than happy to volunteer. Life is ******* tough, but you dont have to go through it alone

Cant promise it will be stimulating conversation, but im willing to listen. Love and appreciate you all

Somebody named RagingCloner said he's stimulating, lol.

Just kidding, great message.

 

[RagingCloner]

Somebody named RagingCloner said he's be stimulating, lol.

Just kidding, great message.

Probably should have thought that through better I suppose. lol

 

[MJ29]

So you are the person that writes all those Hallmark and Lifetime movies that my mom loves so much.

Actually if you've sold screen plays CONGRATS!!

I wish. I've published a few novels, but nothing that's been picked up for screen. Yet. Ha.

 

[Cyched]

I wish. I've published a few novels, but nothing that's been picked up for screen. Yet. Ha.

Is Jizzle James a character in any of your “romance” novels?

 

[MJ29]

Is Jizzle James a character in any of your “romance” novels?

Can't say he/she is.

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

If somebody reaches out to you via PM/DM to offer an ear to listen, don't be afraid to use it.

Yes, it really helps when you can communicate with someone that has gone through the same ordeal.

 

[KnappShack]

As evident in this thread, the past 14-15 months of my life have been absolutely brutal (lowest of lows, heart attack, 3 strokes, suicide attempt, advanced Parkinson's Plus diagnosis, etc) but I've been blessed to have an incredible wife and a stronger relationship with my parents then I had for probably 20 years. While in the moment I often haven't seen that, I truly have been incredibly fortunate to have them and this site (and a great sister).

For those of you that resurrected this thread and have posted in the past 24 hours, my heart truly goes out to each of you - truly and deeply. I can say that much of what has gotten me through this time has been the support found simply sharing and getting it out on this site and leaning on my wife a lot (I don't have real-world friends). While I didn't have the benefit of being anonymous like y'all, I would use that as a great way to get support on here, texting 988, etc because you'd be surprised how just typing something out can matter, far more than talking for many of us. Most of you likely have a close friend that you can substitute for the scenarios where talking with your spouse isn't an option.

If somebody reaches out to you via PM/DM to offer an ear to listen, don't be afraid to use it. Going through things like home invasions, cheating spouses, divorces, etc can be some of the most difficult things one can go through as they hit you at the core and aren't quickly overcomed. While time is a big factor in healing, don't wait until it's too late to reach out and use any of the resources you have available to help you through it. There's no denying it all sucks, but you are never alone regardless of what you may feel at the time. Never feel like you can't call up a friend, a family member, call or text 988, or jump on here to seek out a helping hand.

Personally, I've used this site from the start as a way to get out my feelings - ironically many times more personal than sports oriented - and it has largely kept me alive for the nearly 20 years it's been going. Don't know that I've ever verbalized that, but this has always been the only way I get feelings out. That's because this is a family, not just a random message board. It's just as much your family as it's been mine.

I don't know what everybody's thoughts on it would be, but I'd even happily create an opt-in only subforum for mental/emotional support threads. It is so incredibly under supported in our society today and affects all of us at one stage or in one way or another.

Hang in there, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, despite how dark and long that tunnel may feel at times.

Keep swinging, brotherman

 

[BWRhasnoAC]

I actually found dating in my late 30's easier. Knew exactly what I could and couldn't put up with, and had no qualms about just saying "nope, you are not the one". Went through a lot of false starts, but found my wife in 2006 and married her in 2008. Still going great today.

The dating scene is garbage now unfortunately.

 

[snowcraig2.0]

i have a 2 year old and i couldnt imagine

How is my kid doing?

 

[carvers4math]

Bingo. That's why I hate all of this Swift/Kelce stuff. Don't get me wrong, I used to like Taylor Swift but their relationship has gotten stuffed down everyone's throats and I'm sorry, but the relationship will not last and Taylor will write another album about how bad he was.

But that was the type of stuff people get obsessed with, including my ex. Seeing how happy and bubbly they were and thinking that's what she could have. Welp, being in a long committed relationship can get boring at times and that's just facts.

I was gonna say if you are moving to “Chicago” I know a cute woman there who is unattached and a big Cyclone fan. She has however attended a Taylor Swift concert though so not your type.

 

[Statefan10]

The dating scene is garbage now unfortunately.

I've heard that, which sucks. I personally loved being married and having someone and now the dating scene is just people trying to add another tick mark above their headboard.