RIGHT.
It hurts, but you will be better off and most likely will find someone who deserves you and will treat you with respect and care.
Why is life worth living?
- Thread starter Jer
- Start date
It hurts, but you will be better off and most likely will find someone who deserves you and will treat you with respect and care.
I'm beyond blessed that I'm still young and that no kids are involved. I can barely look at her right now so having to co-parent would be absolutely miserable. I can cut all ties to that old life and start new. I'm also lucky enough that I do have a tremendous support system and have already gotten lucky enough to fall into a great living situation.
Usually because they'd already found the other person prior to the divorce, which, whether known to all parties or not, is usually a contributing factor.
Wait -- I'm now a hooligan? Guess I'd better be a good one!
My parents were snowbirds, splitting time between IA and AZ. One winter they headed back to their house in AZ and arrived to an open back sliding door, doors off of hinges, sand all over in the house and nearly everything gone including appliances (which is why doors were off of hinges). Turns out that neighbors down the street knew they were snowbirds and made multiple trips to loot the house in the middle of the night actually lifting appliances up over a cinder block wall into a pickup in the alley. They took collectible WWII guns, weird personal items such as a glass apple with floating pieces of gold my dad was given by the Des Moines School District, etc. Their house even had an alarm system, but the police never responded and security company simply deactivated the alarm. Insurance took care of everything as best as they could, but they still felt that sting of being victimized. Since then I've become a pretty big advocate for multiple cameras, both Ring and Nest and both indoors and outdoors.
Thanks man I really appreciate it. I've suffered with anxiety for a few years now (mostly stemming from her) but have been diagnosed with depression now too. Going to therapy has been a life saver, literally. I'm not through it all yet by any means but I don't think there could be anything than the situation I was just living in for the last few months in being with someone who acts like everything is okay and "pretending" to be still married but then telling you she doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you.
And if she finds a new guy.. so be it. She already had another guy in our marriage so why would I care now? Also, I've deleted her on every form of social media plus all of her friends and family. Don't want to ever see her again. 11 year relationship and 4 year marriage gone in an instant and she barely sheds a tear? Yeah, good riddance.
@Statefan10 I don’t know you personally, but you’ve always come across pretty level headed and a good guy on here. I’m confident you’ll land on your feet and be better off in the long run.
CycloneErik
Well-Known Member
For my money, if 2024 is just stable and boring, that's a giant leap forward from 2023. That was the most stressful year I've ever had.
If the Cyclones want to keep winning on the way to better than stable and boring, that's a nice bonus, and possible even some allowable fun.
If the Cyclones want to keep winning on the way to better than stable and boring, that's a nice bonus, and possible even some allowable fun.
Oh her and her married "boyfriend" are most likely going to end up together. They're still coworkers and had zero problem with being with one another when in separate marriages. They will 100% get together.
Just don’t be afraid to reach out to people for help. You might be surprised that others have gone through this and talking with them can be a help to both.
I'd take a divorce & heartbreak for an ISU national championship. Without question.
CycloneErik
Well-Known Member
That's the kind of dedication and sacrifice we're looking for.
Will do. I'm going to therapy and am genuinely one that loves talking about my feelings.
Just from reading your posts here, they've probably never actually split. It sounds a lot like a situation I was close to (but not directly involved in).
You have to feel a sense of relief that's hard to describe moving on from that.
Once a cheater...always a cheater! So those two deserve each other...and all the worrying they will do about one another when not together...about what the other is really doing at that moment and who they are really with!
i know someone going through this right now and there is a young child involved which makes it 1000x worse, it seems.
youre on to new adventures, my friend
Certainly not emotionally. Especially considering she told me her and him were telling each other they loved one another. Definitely feels like they were holding out for one of the other spouses to cut ties.
I will once everything is truly over. Still feel the weight a bit from everything but each passing day is a day closer to being done with that mess. Then I get to truly just focus on me and only me, something I haven't done in a long long time.
Yeah I will definitely say that the absolute best thing about this is no longer worrying if she's with that guy. That anxious feeling is gone and man does it feel good.
I honestly couldn't imagine. Makes me sick that that's the world we live in. Today's society with social media and Hollywood makes everything so fake and makes people think there's always something better.
I think the advent of online dating and apps has contributed to this as well.
I overall think they’re a good thing, as they allow you to meet people you otherwise might not cross paths with (and they can help you get back out there when you’re ready), but having potential suitors “on demand” at your fingertips is too much for some people to handle.
