Workplace Restroom Incident

[VeloClone]

So I just did a recon mission to the site of the crime. I did verify that the door does in fact have a lock. Also, the door is a bit wiggly and you have to jimmy the handle a little to certify that the door is in fact locked. HOWEVER, the. goddamn. door. can. be. secured. Therefore, crime should not have been committed regardless. Further detail, it is possible if you are taking a dump, to reach out and double check the door/lock. More evidence that someone clearly owes me a lunch of my choice.

Are you really going to be able to eat sitting across from her, though?

 

[JM4CY]

SSSoooooo ---- would?

 

[JM4CY]

Are you really going to be able to eat sitting across from her, though?

Who said I would dine with her? I just want her money.

 

[VTXCyRyD]

Seems like the mods should retitle the post "Ask a Chubby Chaser Anything"

 

[everyyard]

Not if you straddle the urinal facing the wall.

Yes, still room.

 

[CtownCyclone]

Are you really going to be able to eat sitting across from her, though?

Also, what if she chooses the chili cookoff to take you to?

 

[oldman]

So I just did a recon mission to the site of the crime. I did verify that the door does in fact have a lock. Also, the door is a bit wiggly and you have to jimmy the handle a little to certify that the door is in fact locked. HOWEVER, the. goddamn. door. can. be. secured. Therefore, crime should not have been committed regardless. Further detail, it is possible if you are taking a dump, to reach out and double check the door/lock. More evidence that someone clearly owes me a lunch of my choice.

Would that be considered a "second" date?

 

[Mtowncyclone13]

Is it too early for a Thread of the Year nomination?

 

[deadeyededric]

No witnesses!

 

[JM4CY]

Also, what if she chooses the chili cookoff to take you to?

I'm pretty sure she participated in a chili cook off around 12 to 18 hours before The Incident.

 

[JM4CY]

Is it too early for a Thread of the Year nomination?

If what it takes is to see what I saw to earn this distinction from CF, I'm not sure I want that medal.

 

[jbindm]

So I just did a recon mission to the site of the crime. I did verify that the door does in fact have a lock. Also, the door is a bit wiggly and you have to jimmy the handle a little to certify that the door is in fact locked. HOWEVER, the. goddamn. door. can. be. secured. Therefore, crime should not have been committed regardless. Further detail, it is possible if you are taking a dump, to reach out and double check the door/lock. More evidence that someone clearly owes me a lunch of my choice.

You definitely shouldn't have gone back to the scene of the crime that quickly. Makes you look guilty.

 

[Bigman38]

Needed this after all the other terrible news this week.

It's probably not good advice but my play would be to never make eye contact, talk to, or be in the vicinity of her ever again. The only thing to make this more awkward is having to address it with her in any way.

PS - Always, always, always lock the door FFS

 

[SpokaneCY]

So I just did a recon mission to the site of the crime. I did verify that the door does in fact have a lock. Also, the door is a bit wiggly and you have to jimmy the handle a little to certify that the door is in fact locked. HOWEVER, the. goddamn. door. can. be. secured. Therefore, crime should not have been committed regardless. Further detail, it is possible if you are taking a dump, to reach out and double check the door/lock. More evidence that someone clearly owes me a lunch of my choice.

But could you block out the mental image as you two both enjoy a lovely shepards pie? Can there ever be eye contact again?

EDIT - saw the chili cook-off comments above. WAY better food choice to illustrate the grossness of the crime.

 

[SpokaneCY]

You definitely shouldn't have gone back to the scene of the crime that quickly. Makes you look guilty.

Probably a whiff of the crime still in the air.

 

[BoxsterCy]

This thread blows. Of course, you guys all have Adonis type bodies that the sculptors of old Italy would have been looking to immortalize in marble.

 

[everyyard]

You definitely shouldn't have gone back to the scene of the crime that quickly. Makes you look guilty.

The guilty always go back.

 

[AuH2O]

I think it was a setup to get the OP to see her

No doubt. Oldest seduction trick in the book. Based on OPs discussion of recouping a meal from the offender, I'd say it worked like a charm.

 

[CtownCyclone]

This thread blows. Of course, you guys all have Adonis type bodies that the sculptors of old Italy would have been looking to immortalize in marble.

That or we can operate a lock.

 

[Entropy]

This thread.