Screwed Up Sayings

[CycoCyclone]

Does the pope **** in the woods?

 

[CycoCyclone]

Rocket Surgeon

 

[CycloneGB]

we caught a buddy talking about his girlfriend(now wife) getting a "pack smear to get the pill".

What the heck is a "pack smear"

Haha the ol' pack smear.. You should try it sometime

 

[jmb]

More importantly, why does she think she needs one to get the pill?

Pap smears are used to test for cervical cancer, that's not a prerequisite of getting on the pill.

many ob/gyn groups put that as a pre-req to get the pill

 

[VeloClone]

My Dad always said "Smooth move Ex-Lax!"

I hate when people say "those ones", or "these ones". "Do you want these ones or those ones?" I just started noticing this and it drives me bonkers. If you are referring to one thing, wouldn't you say, "Do you want this one or that one?". If you are referring to plural, "Do you want these or those?".

"I gave 110%". No you didn't, you can't give more than 100% of your ability.

My favorite sayings:
"She is nuttier than squirrel poop"
"I need to get all my poop in one sock", (Instead of getting your **** together)

I had a co-worker who wanted us to "get our poop in a group." I approved due to the rhyming. I had always heard that things that didn't go well "went over like a lead balloon." That same co-worker said it "went over like a fart in a spacesuit." I again approved due to the imagery.

I had a roommate who was on air at WOI. During one of the pledge drives one of the other on air personalities said the mother of all mixed metaphors: "The whole house of cards will come home to roost in mid stream." Pretty good (or bad, depending on your perspective) for extemporaneous live radio!

 

[4429 mcc]

One of my favorites:

I dont give two ***** and a **** about him/her
(s-word) (f-word)

 

[VeloClone]

Haha the ol' pack smear.. You should try it sometime

Isn't that a bad Sunday in Green Bay?

 

[Arkansas Cyclone]

"fixin' to do something"

ex: I'm fixin' to go to the grocery store

Been down here 17 years and that one still bugs the hell out of me. That and "that dog don't hunt".

 

[stateofmind]

I had a co-worker who wanted us to "get our poop in a group." I approved due to the rhyming. I had always heard that things that didn't go well "went over like a lead balloon." That same co-worker said it "went over like a fart in a spacesuit." I again approved due to the imagery.

I had a roommate who was on air at WOI. During one of the pledge drives one of the other on air personalities said the mother of all mixed metaphors: "The whole house of cards will come home to roost in mid stream." Pretty good (or bad, depending on your perspective) for extemporaneous live radio!

"went over like a fart in a spacesuit."

I just heard that a couple weeks ago and laughed hard!

 

[stateofmind]

Been down here 17 years and that one still bugs the hell out of me. That and "that dog don't hunt".

Another thing that seems to be common in Iowa is saying "Why" for no reason.

"Why, I took care of that last week."
"Why, that's a good question."

Neither of these are questions.

 

[jmb]

Isn't that a bad Sunday in Green Bay?

as Bear fan that is a great day in Green Bay

 

[VeloClone]

Another thing that seems to be common in Iowa is saying "Why" for no reason.

"Why, I took care of that last week."
"Why, that's a good question."

Neither of these are questions.

I hate the extra "so" at the end of a statement.

I better get going, my husband is expecting me at 5, so...
I need a little more information, so...

So what?!

 

[capitalcityguy]

Is your co-worker Marty Terrill? He says that and it drives me crazy!

 

[AllBig12Drinker]

"Like my grandma always used to say; Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free."

Such a good Mallrats line.

"Like my grandpa always used to say; Sex is like basketball, you dribble before you shoot"

 

[jdoggivjc]

"My momma always made the best grits."

 

[isubeatle]

Biff: "...why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."

 

[Boorstin]

I dont' think there is any such thing as a "happy medium." It should be "happy median." As in there are just as many points on either side of the happiness continuum. A happy median. Or something like that.

 

[InCytful1]

I really hate when people use "finna" which is Ebonics I believe... It basically means "going to"

"mane, i'm finna give you an *** woopin!"

I think it's actually Ebonics for "fixin to", which is also prevalent throughout this thread.

 

[stateofmind]

From Last Comic Standing, "So I was banging this chick, RIGHT", his reply "I don't know, probably not".

blah, blah, like, blah, blah, like...

 

[CycloneGB]

Isn't that a bad Sunday in Green Bay?

Well played sir.