***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 03-04-2020***

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Thoughts on This Week's Mailbag


  • Total voters
    12

GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
First and foremost, a few links:
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/

Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-29-2020.254609/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-05-2020.254733/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-12-2020.254868/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-19-2020.254989/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-26-2020.255103/


Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 03-04-2020
Sponsored by Hidden Valley Ranch dressing - the leading beverage in the state of Iowa.
With special guest jcyclonee!


@NWICY doomsday prepping asks: So what is the proper margin whoever manufactures the coronavirus vaccine should make?
JC:
Is this vaccine for the respiratory illness or to remove urine from Corona beer?
Pants: $0. People shouldn’t profit off of life saving medicine.
GTO: Enough to cover manufacturing, R&D, distribution, and trials should be enough to cover all their expenses. Anything on top of that would be considered profit. How much profit should they make? That is the question that nobody has ever been able to answer.
GTO: Urine in your Coronas is an actual issue?
Pants: “Urine in Your Coronas” is my favorite Kenny Chesney song.

@mdk2isu with a follow-up to last week’s CF Civil War question: What about the war will be 'civil'?
Pants:
We’ll all shake hands before and promise not to leak each other’s nudes after break up.
JC: I’ll shake hands but I make no promises about not leaking each other’s nudes.
GTO: The glove slapping across the face and the challenge to a duel at dawn should make it “civil”. Unless you do this:
EqualTepidHoopoe-max-1mb.gif

GTO: Are we leaking each other’s REAL nudes? Or photos of our stunt penises?
JC: Here’s my opinion about the leaks. Stunt penis for me. I’m over 50 so nobody wants to see my stuff. Stunt penis for Pants. No matter how much he yammers on about “perspective” you can only make one of those little button mushrooms look so big. GTO - We’ve never met so I‘ve never had a chance to check out your junk. That decision will have to be up to Pants and yourself.
Pants: My penis is usually used as a stunt penis for other people anyway. I don’t know if I could pass off for yours though, GTO.
GTO: a little bit of spray tan might do the trick.

@ImJustKCClone coming to terms with the fact that she never makes deadline: This can be for next week:
1) What's your over/under on how many name-changes @Gunnerclone 's "dear so&so" thread will undergo before it dies a natural death or is closed by mods?
2) What was the original name of the thread?
GTO:
I would say at least 3-5 more times before the presidential election. Original name of the thread? Dear Abby.
JC: I have no idea what this thread is. Maybe it’s in the cave. That being said, I can respect any entity that changes its name frequently. Who doesn’t want to occasionally imagine themselves living someone else’s life, being a spy or a rock star? As for the original name of the thread we need to keep this in mind. @Gunnerclone lives in Ohio so it was probably misspelled.
Pants: It’s slowed down, so I’ll say two more times. And I THINK it was “Dear Moderates” but I was busy at work so I didn’t see it until 11 pages in.

@CloneLawman making this too easy: For the next time around...caption this photo. (OR take it and photoshop it into something better)
atkS3jcSff-HQVzi4dMVNm8CTOVdg5Yb7emDOBBT4LbVMWxBvp7JLIsVkKUZ2m73bTsLZoiy_5PqtW7rC6n2r_aRH55BaZwBkHPoOPYak4BYw95cqTPV3XZGXQgn-llY_FtNC5ot


JC: New Era launches its new line of clothing geared toward “the curvy man”.
Pants: “That face when you’re thinking about a light snack before dinner.”
GTO: “...for richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health…”
 

GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
@Angie asks: What music genre(s) do you hate? What is/are your favorite?
Pants:
Freaking hate country. I have very eclectic musical taste, and country is the ONLY genre I just can’t get in to even in the slightest. Favorite right now would probably be indie pop or folk pop. Maybe VERY recently kind of Neo Soul. I’ve been slowly getting into non-American musicians as well.
JC: Like Pants, I have very eclectic musical tastes so there’s few genres that I can say I don’t like. However, if boy bands counts as a genre I find very little redeeming quality there. Favorite genre? My preference tends to vary but probably those rock bands that were heavily influenced by The Byrds like REM or The Heartbreakers.
GTO: Most hated - country music, most EDM, Broadway showtunes. Favorite - reggae, hip-hop, rock (English and Spanish), classic salsa, some metal, some world music.
GTO: Sooo, you’re telling me both of you guys wouldn’t be into a country boy-band?
Pants: The thing is, when I sing, I can sing the hell out of a song with a twang in it. I just hate myself the entire time I do it.
JC: Would we make more money than if we invented the vaccine for one of the Corona things?

@Cyched strikes again: How fast do hotcakes sell?
GTO:
Is this another Nate Stanley question?
JC: Like with most things, it depends upon who’s selling it to you. Let’s say Shakira’s standing behind the griddle in an apron and hair net, I’m buying those hotcakes as fast as I can. If it’s Kim Jung-un standing behind that griddle, I don’t care how appetizing it may seem to taste the teeth of the traitorous former general of Kangwon Province in your hotcakes, I’m not buying them purely on moral grounds.
Pants: Surprisingly very slowly.

@Cyched stealing a page from @jsb playbook: Did Fred Hoiberg ruin other men for us?
JC:
No. My mancrush on Bradley Cooper is still strong and I still find my virtual twin, Channing Tatum, to be quite handsome.
Pants: Yes. My b-hole will never be the same.
GTO: @JC - Virtual? I think the word you were looking for is fraternal. People might hate me for this, but I found the whole deal of grown men on an internet forum constantly gushing about Fred’s dreaminess just a tad disturbing. Just saying.
JC: Not fraternal. We don’t share the same genes. We just look eerily alike. I should probably rephrase that to state that he’s virtually (or practically) my twin.
GTO: Suuuuuurrrre… Like this?

U-77rzvU6ZPzghT_BcYRlPzuLKIIyc8kgLcrIOjxkl6_WWnrdpkinZrKfT8Lhl_t21mXEMzLSTwoK3ntMKDT-ddQHNSTpVNBJGJSGF0_3ekl0biY4zIvn5xvHYJWVYUaks8ey_iO


@BCClone with a forensic files question: After giving blood, how long should I be concerned about a numbnut getting a transfusion of mine and then accidentally bleeding when doing illegal activities and leaving my DNA there?
Pants:
This sounds like an elaborate start of an alibi by you to try to get out of a crime you’ve committed and I refuse to take part in it. @CloneLawman
GTO: Now I picture BCClone spending his time looking for a one-armed man who framed him for a murder he did not commit.
JC: I’m with Pants. What are you trying to pin on that poor guy receiving a blood transfusion after that terrible accident?

@madguy30 being an ornithologist (or just someone who’s played a lot of Angry Birds): When will the large number of spring birds start to appear in the upper midwest, and what order?
Sandhill cranes
Robins
Loons
Pelicans
Bluebirds
Cedar Waxwing
GTO:
Here are my best estimates on when these birds will begin to appear:
Sandhill cranes - whenever they finish that building project down south.
Robins - can only come after Batman. IYKWIM
Loons - first ones back, as they’re too crazy to have any idea regarding weather patterns.
Pelicans - RIP BDJ
Bluebirds - these are usually just regular birds until they get c**kblocked. Then they become bluebirds. Usually the last ones to make it.
Cedar Waxwing - second ones to come back as long as they don’t fly too close to the sun and have the wax melted from their wings.
JC: Bird nerd!
Pants: Wait, bluebirds are real? They’re not just Blue Jays?
GTO: the American ones are called bluebirds, the ones from Canada (specifically Toronto) are Blue Jays.
Pants: So are Redbirds cardinals then?
GTO: Yes, but only in the state of Missouri (more specifically St. Louis). An exception to this rule is that Catholic redbirds can also be Cardinals.
 
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GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
@cyrocksmypants with some PTSD (Pistachio Traumatic Stress Disorder): What’s something that you get irrationally angry about?
I’m just going to say pistachios here so I can remember why I asked the question.

JC: When people seem to imply that you are a ranch dressing apologist when you don’t even like it that much and you are just trying to figure out how a certain person that lives in a town full of in-breds can have such a profound distaste for something as innocent as ranch dressing.
Pants: Okay, so pistachios are a pain in the ass to open, right? But they’re delicious, so we do it anyway. I hate when I’m popping through some pistachios, work my ass off to crack one open AND THERE’S NOT EVEN A FREAKING PISTACHIO IN THE SHELL!
GTO: I seem to have a photographic memory for rooms. The minute I walk into a room, I look around and remember where everything is placed. Whenever someone at home is looking for something, I just ask them what it is and can tell them right away where it is. What I get irrationally angry about is when I can’t find something. I get furious and turn the whole house upside down trying to find that item. So frustrating.
GTO: @Pants - I’m not a fan of foods where I have to do that much work. The only exception is sunflower seeds because I do enjoy the saltiness of the shells, so I’ll suck on those for a while before biting into them.
Pants: This is why I don’t eat crab legs. Everyone freaks out when I say it, but it’s so much work for so little food.

@cmjh10 (I don’t even know what the **** he’s trying to do with this ridiculous question): When eating mozzarella sticks, do you prefer ranch or marinara sauce?
Pants:
This is f**king chaos. You’ve gone too far. Ranch? Get the **** out of here with that garbage.
GTO: Ranch?!?! Do you put ranch on your spaghetti and meatballs as well? Seriously dude. Mozzarella being an Italian cheese means the only correct answer is marinara.
JC: Ranch on mozzarella sticks sounds disgusting. I like my mozzarella sticks au naturale. Maybe if they seem to be a bit lacking in flavor or the breading is a little over-cooked , I’ll use a little marinara. However, cheddar cheese curds dipped in jalapeno ranch are delightful.

@cmjh10 after being called out by BCClone for his ranchiness: Who hurt you?
GTO:
I thought only Hok fans were this obsessed over ranch. Wasn’t that moron who cut in front of Kirsten Gillibrand during that televised segment a Hok fan?
JC: Why do people hate ranch dressing so much? It’s not great. It’s fine. Hating ranch this much is like hating air.
Pants: It’s the little kid version of dressings. Taste buds evolve. It’s fine to like ranch as a kid, but grow up. It’s like grown ass adults that still say pizza is their favorite food.
Pants: The only thing ranch dressing belongs on is the top of the garbage pile. Get some real tastebuds, plebe.
JC: Why does Pants hate pizza?
Pants: Grow up, JC.
GTO: I kid you not, a coworker of mine has a client (woman in her 50’s, Director level job) who only eats chicken tenders, hamburgers, etc. She literally orders from the restaurant's children’s menu and she is proud of her pickiness. How does that happen?

@Ms3r4ISU in response to BCClone’s potential crime scene DNA: If you don't want to donate, just say so.
And BTW, blood isn't always moved directly from one person to another. Sometimes it gets separated into components and provided that way.
Oh, never mind. This is a questions thread.
Should I continue?
JC:
So you are saying that BCClone could pin his crime on multiple blood acceptors?
Pants: I stopped reading and just looked for the question mark.
GTO: I read your “Should I continue?” just like Starship Troopers’ “Would you like to know more?” We should all join the mobile infantry and get matching tattoos.

@ImJustKCClone actually asking a question which will be answered in the same week she asked!: Can you please explain the bizarre love affair that native Iowans have with ranch dressing? I've lived here for 36 years (over half my life) and I still can't comprehend it…
Pants:
At this point, I think people are more obsessed with the idea as a Midwesterner than the actual taste of ranch. It’s like the obsession with bacon or Nutella a few years ago, it’s fun to pretend like you love it because of your geographic or trendy connection to it, but it’s vastly overrated.
GTO: Pants, that is where I draw the line. Say whatever you like about ranch, but you better not disrespect the Nutella. Name one other thing that comes from the finest nuts and can be spread on anything? Actually, please don’t.
JC: Ranch is disgusting. The only thing worse is pizza.

@coolerifyoudid asks: Do you stop to help people who are having car trouble alongside the road? Why or why not?
Follow up question: Have you ever slowed down with the intent of helping someone, looked at the person and decided against it?
GTO:
growing up I was always told we never stopped to help someone on the road because of it being just a ruse to have drivers stop and get their cars stolen or get robbed (it did happen quite a bit at the time). Well, when I was about 8 years old, the island got hit with a tropical storm that brought tons of rain and flooding. It was so bad that one of the rivers carrying debris knocked down one of the bridges in the highway. There was a guy trying to flag down drivers to stop because the bridge was out but people drove past him because it was around midnight and they did not want to stop in fear of being carjacked. 30 people died by going over the edge (low visibility due to the rain/darkness) - including 4 police officers that were called to the scene- and falling/being carried by the river below, mostly drowned. Eventually enough drivers were able to stop and block the highway with their cars. Crazy to think that not stopping to help someone caused so many people to die. The following night there were some mudslides in my hometown that buried hundreds of houses and killed over 150 people. Probably the storm I remember the most vividly growing up. This is a photo of the bridge a couple of weeks after the waters receded:

IfjxnMBCNF1dTs1xaogJu2Mp9kPkYzoPF63QUQykSyFQx0m0tyAnqkp2KgzI9Ak-dUOszunkQDJpPM58Bm30gzt_lWqGfAMy7x5FzKM68NPoors3Il5PzISjgYAOMCytNLmroENQ

Article on the floods of 1985:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985_Puerto_Rico_floods
JC: I used to but, once we had kids, my wife pointed out to me that the person I’m helping could kill me at any time and she’d have to raise our kids by herself. Personally, she was probably trying to use reverse psychology on me. Recently, I was driving on a country road and saw a car in the snow in the ditch. I slowed but then noticed somebody else was stopping to help so I thought to myself, “I could stop and help too but these pumps and fishnet stockings really aren’t appropriate attire for pushing a car out of the ditch.”
Pants: I used to all of the time! Especially with flat tires, because I can actually fix that. But when I lived in Indiana, I pulled over to help someone and the woman sitting in the car screamed at me to get away like I was going to assault her when I approached her car. I used to think that woman was crazy, but honestly, with society as it is today, I sadly understand her fear, so I don’t anymore. Plus, everyone has cell phones now, so they can get help. I have many times helped change tires for people when walking to my car though.
 
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GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
@SCyclone asks: Do you think some Iowans would prefer ranch dressing to blood when in need of a tranfusion?
JC:
No. Iowans’ blood vessels are already too constricted from the high cholesterol. I think most ISU fans would prefer Busch Light though.
Pants: Some eat enough that it’s probably already coursing through the veins.
GTO: I think this is the origin story for super-villain Ranchman.

@SCyclone asks: What is/was the best drinking game you ever played?
Pants:
I can’t remember what it’s called, but the one where I get really drunk and then whip my **** out and shake it at everyone.
GTO: Devil’s Triangle? J/K Drinking every time there was a reference to old man’s game or Nerlens Noel during Niang’s time was always challenging.
JC: To me, the best drinking games are more about who you are with than what you are playing. Somewhat tangential note: strip double-solitaire is a blast.

@SCyclone going for the trifecta: What is your least favorite Big 12 mascot and why? (Current teams only please, the weird-ass Nebraska guy is off limits. He's the B1G's problem now.)
GTO:
Kansas State and Oklahoma State’s mascots are the worst. Any time you put an oversized head on a regular body, it just looks weird. Add to it that weird face on the Cowboys mascot and it just looks like something straight out of a horror movie.

vlnsGqo1mrhkU6mQ2JdSQSSAq2X0dx-MNrGY1SCf6JB_JB9qg0OepZGun8wO9LlzTJhMTA4nkCSiQmG8GkkNZFx3gkP-5cV05aqN_6IAja6iyoFmIWDVqBw3QPx5PJCvtQ_7hUNs

Always reminds me of Turd Ferguson:
GhVgRtRDISAhW_nvjQeowrYnALVb-Km2kVQg6R-kM5FcigCoVUfxVXTXfOBp-KuoI3u6YKKFtb5r4poREjuNXUyRxTQNbjUsntR7KLE7WYSYRancr1OM4dlkz7sKMZkIWbAxkRv2

JC: This seems like a sports question. Oh well. I’m a professional (not writer, but still). I guess I’ll have to google the mascots. The Texas one isn’t great but I kind of dig the burnt orange. It reminds me of the Lloyd Christmas tuxedo. I’ll go with that emaw cat. It is weird looking.
Pants: Easy. Kansas State’s weird 1990s pedo looking half human/half cat thing.
 
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GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
@Doc asks: How was Mexico? Did you find out your wife was in a secret relationship with a drug lord?
JC:
(First of all, I apologize to Pants and GTO. I put way too much thought into this and I have no idea what’s going to come out once I start typing).
Thanks for asking but our trip to Mexico is still coming up and my wife’s relationship with a Mexican drug lord is “not-so-secret”. Let me explain. You probably often think to yourself:
“Look at the first two letters of his username. Also, he dispenses so much wisdom, has a generous heart and a kind soul. Is he our messiah?”

Well, let me tell you, I am no messiah. Lo, I am but a meek and humble Mexican drug lord. The cocaine I distribute is no better than that of the Juarez cartel, the anti-personnel ammunition my sicarios fire doesn’t fragment in a more lethal manner than that of Los Zetas, the life size 24 karat gold tigers adorning the stoops on either side of my high voltage security gates are no more shiny than those of El Chapo, and the collars on my silk shirts are no wider than those of the Tijuana cartel jefes. No. Do not deify me. If you cut me, I still bleed. If I watch the photo album scene in “Up”, I still cry.
Pants:I finally was just starting to get over it, so thanks for bringing it up again. Back to therapy I go.
GTO: is this for real? (not the question, but JC’s Narcos-inspired rant)

@Angie a bit too excited about JC’s fandom of Color Me Badd: Wait, is this CMB thing for real? If so:
What other song is there by Color Me Badd besides "I Wanna Sex You Up?" I mean, I guess I sort of remember "I Adore Mi Amor," for which the title isn't even all in the same language. Please explain your passion.
@madguy30 correctly responded with: What kind of question is this? (and the official video for “All 4 Love”)
Pants:
I have no idea what is happening here.
JC: So I’ve heard of Color Me Badd and I know I’ve heard the song, “I Wanna Sex You Up”. I did a little more research and discovered that they are from Oklahoma City. I also discovered that Lon Chaney Jr. is from Oklahoma City and he’s featured in that cool “Werewolves of London” song. Being from the same city as the guy from that song is good enough for me. I am officially a Color Me Badd superfan!
GTO: **** you @madguy30 for putting “All 4 Love” in my head! Funny thing, I searched and saw that they were back together, but one of the band members got arrested for attacking another one at one of their shows in 2018. Dude gave him a pretty brutal shove off the stage resulting in some injuries. Hey, maybe he did it all 4 love.


@GTO asks: What is the weirdest pet you've owned?
Pants:
I tried to breed platties once? And got strangely obsessed in an online community about it for like, a two month period. Other than that, a rabbit? I don’t know how weird that is. But he was litter trained and free roaming.
JC: When first married, we decided to get 2 cats. My wife always wanted a long-haired gray cat named Daisy. Unless you wanted to pay a million dollars there weren’t any long-haired female gray cats so we got a boy cat and named it Daisy. The other cat was a girl. I wanted to name a cat Elvis. However, you evidently aren’t allowed to name a girl cat Elvis so she was named Priscilla. After we had our first baby, we gave the cats to a family with older children. They renamed Daisy to Davey.
GTO: Platties? What the heck is that? Like a platypus? I’ve owned a pig, chickens, a fish, 3 parakeets, and one conure. The pig was won by my mom in a Christmas raffle. It was a cute baby pig and I took it as a pet. Little did I know that the family was raising it to become Easter dinner. Anyway, one day my Mom takes me to visit my Uncle down the street, but miscalculated how long we should be there and we came back to early and I was witness to the poor little pig roasting in an outdoor spit. I was completely devastated. I don’t think there was any long term emotional effect from that incident, but you never know if some day I’ll just snap, wear a pig’s head, and pick up a chainsaw.
Pants: Platties are like these cheap ass fish you can buy at Walmart, but instead of laying eggs like most fish, they actually give live birth.

@BCClone asks: Do you ever mix ranch dressing in with your key club escapades?
JC:
No. The only non-bodily fluids ingested at our key key club escapades are mango daiquiris and Sudanese manufactured Chinese brand knockoff viagra.
GTO: What did I tell you, JC? That Sudanese Viagra is no joke! Or as they call it in China: “the 5-inch mega-boner maker”.
Pants: JFC this madness needs to end.
 

GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
@cyrocksmypants asks: FMK? Matt Campbell, Johnny Orr, Cael Sanderson (as a player AND coach, can’t differentiate the career)
GTO:
F- Orr (fun for however long it would last), M- Campbell (although I think he would turn into a nagging wife telling me about “The Process” of taking out the garbage on time every week), K - Sanderson (how fun could a Mormon be, anyway?).
Pants: **** Cael, Marty Campbell, kill Orr (that one is going to piss a lot of people off)
JC: M - Campbell (seems stable), F- Orr (he seems like he’d be a blast), K - Cael (college wrestlers tend to be super-intense and it always kind of frightened me when they were around)

@BCClone asks: What does the opposite sex say is your best physical feature? What do you think it is?
Pants:
I get eyes and smile probably the most? Which says a lot about my other features because I have constant bags under my eyes and a front tooth gap. Personally I’d say my testicles. Also, I learned there’s apparently two ways to spell testicals?
JC: I used to get eyes because I have this kind of cool mix of green and brown spots in my eyes and I used to have superlong and curly eyelashes. The eyelashes are no longer long and curly so I don’t get that much anymore. I’ve always been told I have pretty nice legs and I don’t have any varicose veins or cottage cheese yet so I’ll go with me being a leggy supermodel.
GTO: wife says it’s my lips. What do I think it is? I would say my gut.

@Cyched asks: Which incorrect expression used on CF is more annoying? 'Should of' or 'mute point'
JC:
I’ll go with mute point being less annoying because it still sort of makes sense.
GTO: Hands down, “should of”. I read right past “mute point” and know what they meant. “Should of” throws me off so badly that I always have to re-read the whole sentence again to know what the **** it “should of” said.
Pants: They’re both awful, but I’ll go should of because it’s an actual grammatical error and not just someone being dumb. But I’m also going to go write-in and say “I could care less.”

@Doc asks: Why do therapists ask for the names of your toys if you bring them to a session?
GTO:
I feel like this may be another pocket pu**y question. Seems to be a running theme.
Pants: That reminds me, do you guys want a review of the pocket ***** I bought for research?
Pants: wha………………….what?
JC: Good question. This always seems to be the case during our couple’s therapy sessions, especially when the therapist is asking us to play-out different scenarios. Also, during these scenarios, the therapist and my wife seem to be way more interested in the toy called chocolate thunder than in the one called JC.
GTO: are you referring to “the thunder for down-under”?
JC: Yes. I am.

@Doc again: Are there any songs you find morally reprehensible yet still good? Provide an example.
Pants:
When I initially responded to this in the thread, I missed the “morally” part. So maybe “Cookie Thumper” by Die Antwoord? It’s a great song, but also, it’s about a dude getting out of prison then banging an underaged girl.
JC: “Get Back” by Ludacris. You talk too much so I’m going to beat the crap out of you. Actually, that may be alright. I guess I’ll go with “Your Love” by The Outfield. I know you’re pretty young for me but I’m going to use you and then you should just leave and don’t tell anybody about this.
GTO: Not sure if this qualifies, but “Ignition” by R.Kelly. I mean, the song is crazy good, but can’t listen to it without thinking of R.Kelly and his history.

@cmjh10 asks: Favorite Nicki Minaj song?
JC:
Song - Starships, Video - Anaconda (for the subtle and nuanced sensuality)
GTO: Any of her instrumental versions.
Pants: The one where she talks about fornication.
 
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GTO

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2014
28,004
36,678
113
North DFW, TX
The End.

Thanks again to everyone who contributed hard-hitting questions and to our special guest @jcyclonee who absolutely nailed it.
And as usual much love to my PIC @cyrocksmypants for his usual contributions and spending some of his hard earned cash for "research" purposes.

Until next week!
 
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jcyclonee

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2006
22,168
24,503
113
Minneapolis
The End.

Thanks again to everyone who contributed hard-hitting questions and to our special guest @jcyclonee who absolutely nailed it.
And as usual much love to my PIC @cyrocksmypants for his usual contributions and spending some of his hard earned cash for "research" purposes.

Until next week!
In case you can't tell, I did just watch both seasons of Narcos Mexico over the last month. I feel like it is totally preparing me for our trip to the resort on the Mayan Riviera. It was like a research project.
 
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madguy30

Well-Known Member
Nov 15, 2011
49,737
46,464
113
@Doc asks: How was Mexico? Did you find out your wife was in a secret relationship with a drug lord?
JC:
(First of all, I apologize to Pants and GTO. I put way too much thought into this and I have no idea what’s going to come out once I start typing).
Thanks for asking but our trip to Mexico is still coming up and my wife’s relationship with a Mexican drug lord is “not-so-secret”. Let me explain. You probably often think to yourself:
“Look at the first two letters of his username. Also, he dispenses so much wisdom, has a generous heart and a kind soul. Is he our messiah?”

Well, let me tell you, I am no messiah. Lo, I am but a meek and humble Mexican drug lord. The cocaine I distribute is no better than that of the Juarez cartel, the anti-personnel ammunition my sicarios fire doesn’t fragment in a more lethal manner than that of Los Zetas, the life size 24 karat gold tigers adorning the stoops on either side of my high voltage security gates are no more shiny than those of El Chapo, and the collars on my silk shirts are no wider than those of the Tijuana cartel jefes. No. Do not deify me. If you cut me, I still bleed. If I watch the photo album scene in “Up”, I still cry.
Pants:I finally was just starting to get over it, so thanks for bringing it up again. Back to therapy I go.
GTO: is this for real? (not the question, but JC’s Narcos-inspired rant)

@Angie a bit too excited about JC’s fandom of Color Me Badd: Wait, is this CMB thing for real? If so:
What other song is there by Color Me Badd besides "I Wanna Sex You Up?" I mean, I guess I sort of remember "I Adore Mi Amor," for which the title isn't even all in the same language. Please explain your passion.
@madguy30 correctly responded with: What kind of question is this? (and the official video for “All 4 Love”)
Pants:
I have no idea what is happening here.
JC: So I’ve heard of Color Me Badd and I know I’ve heard the song, “I Wanna Sex You Up”. I did a little more research and discovered that they are from Oklahoma City. I also discovered that Lon Chaney Jr. is from Oklahoma City and he’s featured in that cool “Werewolves of London” song. Being from the same city as the guy from that song is good enough for me. I am officially a Color Me Badd superfan!
GTO: **** you @madguy30 for putting “All 4 Love” in my head! Funny thing, I searched and saw that they were back together, but one of the band members got arrested for attacking another one at one of their shows in 2018. Dude gave him a pretty brutal shove off the stage resulting in some injuries. Hey, maybe he did it all 4 love.


@GTO asks: What is the weirdest pet you've owned?
Pants:
I tried to breed platties once? And got strangely obsessed in an online community about it for like, a two month period. Other than that, a rabbit? I don’t know how weird that is. But he was litter trained and free roaming.
JC: When first married, we decided to get 2 cats. My wife always wanted a long-haired gray cat named Daisy. Unless you wanted to pay a million dollars there weren’t any long-haired female gray cats so we got a boy cat and named it Daisy. The other cat was a girl. I wanted to name a cat Elvis. However, you evidently aren’t allowed to name a girl cat Elvis so she was named Priscilla. After we had our first baby, we gave the cats to a family with older children. They renamed Daisy to Davey.
GTO: Platties? What the heck is that? Like a platypus? I’ve owned a pig, chickens, a fish, 3 parakeets, and one conure. The pig was won by my mom in a Christmas raffle. It was a cute baby pig and I took it as a pet. Little did I know that the family was raising it to become Easter dinner. Anyway, one day my Mom takes me to visit my Uncle down the street, but miscalculated how long we should be there and we came back to early and I was witness to the poor little pig roasting in an outdoor spit. I was completely devastated. I don’t think there was any long term emotional effect from that incident, but you never know if some day I’ll just snap, wear a pig’s head, and pick up a chainsaw.
Pants: Platties are like these cheap ass fish you can buy at Walmart, but instead of laying eggs like most fish, they actually give live birth.

@BCClone asks: Do you ever mix ranch dressing in with your key club escapades?
JC:
No. The only non-bodily fluids ingested at our key key club escapades are mango daiquiris and Sudanese manufactured Chinese brand knockoff viagra.
GTO: What did I tell you, JC? That Sudanese Viagra is no joke! Or as they call it in China: “the 5-inch mega-boner maker”.
Pants: JFC this madness needs to end.


Guy's name is Bryan Abrams--he did not take care of himself.

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He and the other guy were on Dr. Phil...that's how real life is for CMB.

And, you're welcome for the Color Me Bad revisit.