Matt Lauer Fired

[cyhiphopp]

Eh, not QUITE what I meant. It's not so much cutting them slack as not being bothered by the banter while another woman might find it offensive.

I'm hard-pressed to come up with an equivalent scenario for the flip side, unless maybe women start talking about periods and labor & nursing with cracked nipples. Most men get pretty darn squeamish around those topics.

That's the "know your audience" part.

I made a joke to a very close friend at my last job about her going to the "Milking Room" when she was pumping for her last child. I would not make that joke with any of the other ladies who used the Lactation room.

 

[isufbcurt]

didn't read all of this thread, but i'm assuming the following will answer some of the above discourse:

1) he has lots of consensual relationships with staff and other people, most notably Giada De Larentas the Italian chef lady and a much rumored (never corroborated, but slight head nod approved) mutual affair with Natalie Morales.

I'm jealous, good work Matt.

 

[jsb]

Just trying to post an example of something relatively innocent that could be taken the wrong way. Which seems like some people might be wary of.

New example, just happened in my office.

We started talking about playing Card Against Humanity with family and friends. We were all SUPER careful not to blurt out any of the phrases from the cards. A friend of mine wanted to share a story of a combination someone used when he last played. He whispered it to us. If he hadn't whispered it to us, and someone overheard him, he could have gotten in trouble. Especially with the combination he referenced.

Here’s the thing....if you have to whisper about it, it might not be something you want to discuss.

The other thing is 99% of women aren’t looking to accuse anyone. No one is going around trying to be offended.

But if you tell me to put on a coconut bra, I’m going to be offended. Because that is ******* behavior and not a normal joke.

 

[SpokaneCY]

The issue is, don't bring a coconut bra, regardless of the theme. It's just not worth the minor laugh you might get.

Yes people are probably too sensitive, but that's how office politics work now.

Another example - several years ago I hosted our Christmas party where I was the emcee. I had several pages of christmas-themed ice-breaker jokes some of which MAY be considered "blue". Along the lines of - why are elves always smiling? Because it tickles when they run through the snow... In my mind, perfectly delightful joke that didn't cross any lines however in a group of 50 or so, there was bound to be someone who took offense. While I got great laughs, my VP cut me off as HE was getting uncomfortable.

I never in a million years felt I was contributing to a less than positive workplace however at least 1 of the 50 did. While I was a little cynical with getting the hook, it was absolutely the right thing to do in hindsight. I think it's sad that we can't show more of our true selves at times, but it really can have an adverse impact on those around us.

When I'm with my true friends I can let my freak flag fly (I fall for the potty humor) however when I'm in an office environment with work-place friends I have to mind my ps and qs. And I'm the LEAST "skeevy" guy I know...

 

[ClonesFTW]

Rather be safe than sorry; can bet your butt someone will be offended by anything that resembles a joke in 2017.

 

[jsb]

Another example - several years ago I hosted our Christmas party where I was the emcee. I had several pages of christmas-themed ice-breaker jokes some of which MAY be considered "blue". Along the lines of - why are elves always smiling? Because it tickles when they run through the snow... In my mind, perfectly delightful joke that didn't cross any lines however in a group of 50 or so, there was bound to be someone who took offense. While I got great laughs, my VP cut me off as HE was getting uncomfortable.

I never in a million years felt I was contributing to a less than positive workplace however at least 1 of the 50 did. While I was a little cynical with getting the hook, it was absolutely the right thing to do in hindsight. I think it's sad that we can't show more of our true selves at times, but it really can have an adverse impact on those around us.

When I'm with my true friends I can let my freak flag fly (I fall for the potty humor) however when I'm in an office environment with work-place friends I have to mind my ps and qs. And I'm the LEAST "skeevy" guy I know...

You think very highly of yourself.

 

[SpokaneCY]

I think we can probably just make a blanket rule that joking about a coworkers breasts is probably on the wrong side of the line most of the time.

Some color - the woman has at times made comments about herself in a self-deprecating way. And I'm NOT saying that to somehow condone, but it does add several layers of complexity to the equation.

I think - for men - it's as simple as don't be a perv at work and respect your co-workers boundaries at all times. But with the infinite combinations of how things are perceived it's going to be a very sticky situation because I think many men lack the self-reflection skills to understand how they are being received.

 

[jbindm]

Here’s the thing....if you have to whisper about it, it might not be something you want to discuss.

The other thing is 99% of women aren’t looking to accuse anyone. No one is going around trying to be offended.

But if you tell me to put on a coconut bra, I’m going to be offended. Because that is ******* behavior and not a normal joke.

Some people do. But I agree with your point otherwise. If you're about to say or do something that's even a little bit questionable, think twice before you speak. It shouldn't be that difficult to get through a workday without saying or doing something something that's potentially offensive to someone else, but there are a lot of idiots out there.

 

[SpokaneCY]

You think very highly of yourself.

Thanks - I truly feel I suffer from low self-esteem.

I spend a lot of time in self reflection. It can be a powerful tool.

 

[dmclone]

The amount of sexual harassment is very shocking to me. I've worked at 3 different companies over the last 30 years and have never seen it once. Here are some of the reasons I think I've never witnessed it:

#1 I'm a guy

#2 Probably 3/4 of the leadership in my department are female

#3 IT. Filled with nerds that don't even have the nerve to look a woman in the eye let alone start harassing.

#4 Highly frowned upon at our company combined with a very progressive culture. I have little doubt that I would be shown the door with one lewd comment.

#5 With 10k+ employees I'm sure it happens a lot but I think it's different in each department. I could see certain areas like Sales being a problem. There are around 100 people in my department and I've been there for 15 years. In all that time I've never even heard rumors. I've never even seen anyone date in the department.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

Everyone should be held to a similar standard of basic respect and decency regardless of field.

If we can’t say something like that it’s a silly and pointless discussion at best. An immoral and irresponsible one at worst.

Then start a cave thread on the topic. I'm sure there are plenty that will join that thread.

 

[SpokaneCY]

Yes, we all know about the elephant in the room.

We were asked to not bring in politics. Yet twice you've mentioned politicians instead of keeping to the current topic. Whether or not I agree with you is immaterial...it's a matter of respecting a polite request.

I know you and I have been cross-ways and I've fired off more than a few impulsive regretable posts your way, but I am interested in women's perspective.

 

[Clonefan32]

So I'm clear, we need to be delicate and nuanced in regards to these workplace harassment issues because we need to protect a man's God-given right to be able to tell jokes.

 

[67CY]

I think it was kind of crappy to spring it on her like they did. I bet she’s pissed.

Hopefully she is pissed enough to quit. They could get rid of every host on that show as far aa I am concerned

 

[ImJustKCClone]

So I'm clear, we need to be delicate and nuanced in regards to these workplace harassment issues because we need to protect a man's God-given right to be able to tell jokes.

Well, that's certainly ONE take on it!

 

[mramseyISU]

A woman in my office - a friend - is well-endowed. We had a winter office party where someone brought in a coconut bra. One guy was joking about having her wear it.

I stopped it dead in its tracks but how do you think the woman felt? The guy was just making an office joke.

I find it interesting where this stuff flies and where it doesn't. Killing that was the right thing to do for sure. Sort of the flip side to that my wife who is also gifted in that regard was an ME in an assembly area. The union guys all decided jugs was a good nickname for her. It really bothered her but she didn't say a word because she was worried it would make things much worse for her since that isn't something they can get fired for with their union protection.

 

[mramseyISU]

I'm jealous, good work Matt.

 

[BCClone]

Some people do. But I agree with your point otherwise. If you're about to say or do something that's even a little bit questionable, think twice before you speak. It shouldn't be that difficult to get through a workday without saying or doing something something that's potentially offensive to someone else, but there are a lot of idiots out there.

For some reason your post made me think of something in my first job. There was a secretary for me and another worker, also male, secretary female. I would help her out when she got swamped and sometimes just sit at her desk during her lunch, she went home, and help her there if I had free time. Quite often she would slip in and see I was helping out and while telling me thanks and that she was there give what could be best described as a 2 second shoulder massage. Never thought anything of it, she was 20 years older, and others saw it and nothing said. One time she really helped me out and I went out to thank her. Walked out, office was behind her, she was sitting, put my hand on her shoulder and said thanks for the help. minutes later a woman manager, not mine, walks in and says I saw what you did and that could be sexual harassment and lays into me.

I apologized to my secretary and she just said she wasn't offended and didn't think anything of it. So perception can be huge. Why I stopped making any contact at work.

 

[SpokaneCY]

So I'm clear, we need to be delicate and nuanced in regards to these workplace harassment issues because we need to protect a man's God-given right to be able to tell jokes.

Tell jokes, offer support to a co-worker of the opposite sex, provide feedback, create job opportunities, support creative and productive environments, etc...

I think in a very larger sense we need to reexamine what it means to be a "man" in this century vs. what it meant to be a "man" in past centuries.

 

[67CY]

Agreed and quite honestly I am shocked NBC didn't give her the day off today and let someone else fill in to report the story. Then again the story just broke early this morning so not sure who they could have brought in on that short of notice, Hoda already was there as her and Kathy Lee have their bit later in the morning so that made sense and even she at times looked a little shaken up.

Why give the NBC ace legal reporter the day off. She is supposed to report the news and loves reporting when it happens to someone else. NBC news is a joke