Drunkest You've Ever Been Story Thread
- Thread starter zwclones51
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How would posting a story here have any affect on your job?
Do you put your CF username on your resume or something?
It's not just directly on the job, but more like what was mentioned before about the internet being permanent.
You were involved in one of my better nights. Part of that night involved a collision in which you ended up on the sidewalk in front of Mickeys.
That's the more likely explanation, but I like to think of myself as the sexual equivalent of some artsy foreign film. It was so good that she just didn't "get it".
That and the whole "being locked out of a room completely naked" thing. That might have upset her just a tad.
I was a new teacher in sw Iowa and we went to an Irish guys house for st patty's. I had a quart of bushnells and a lot of corned beef. I walked home and went to bed at 3 am. In the morning, I discovered a blast pattern on the wall two feet from my bed with huge chunks of corned beef still clinging in the center.
Ah, I almost forgot this one. I probably should just forget it.
My friends had a party in west Ames that started at about 8pm. So me, two of my friends, and my girlfriend drove out to west Ames. I started playing 21 cup beer pong and didn't lose for almost 4 hours. Over that time I probably drank the equivalent of an entire 24 pack of bud and puked all over the bathroom mirror and passed out for an hour. When I got back up, one of my friends, the one who drove apparently left without telling anyone. So I asked around for a ride back, but I didn't find one. My girlfriend wanted me to just sleep on the couch at the party, but I was too blitzed to think logically at all and told her I would get back to Freddy Ct. that night no matter what.
I somehow convinced my friend to walk all the way back to Freddy since the buses were no longer running. Luckily this wasn't in the middle of winter or I would have froze to death. I faintly remember on the way back stopping at a random house party and taking shots of the Captain, ****** about five times outside, got into a fight for "looking at someone's girl", saw some guy who said he had broken his ankle from jumping off the MU balcony by the revolving door hopping around, had a cop tell me to get home safely after he saw me puking by the horse barn, and I finally passed out as soon as I opened the door to my apartment.
My girlfriend woke me up because I had left my keys in the door and when she opened the door, it hit me straight in the face. She told me that right after I left the party she found a ride for me, but I never answered my phone. Fun times, fun times...
My friends had a party in west Ames that started at about 8pm. So me, two of my friends, and my girlfriend drove out to west Ames. I started playing 21 cup beer pong and didn't lose for almost 4 hours. Over that time I probably drank the equivalent of an entire 24 pack of bud and puked all over the bathroom mirror and passed out for an hour. When I got back up, one of my friends, the one who drove apparently left without telling anyone. So I asked around for a ride back, but I didn't find one. My girlfriend wanted me to just sleep on the couch at the party, but I was too blitzed to think logically at all and told her I would get back to Freddy Ct. that night no matter what.
I somehow convinced my friend to walk all the way back to Freddy since the buses were no longer running. Luckily this wasn't in the middle of winter or I would have froze to death. I faintly remember on the way back stopping at a random house party and taking shots of the Captain, ****** about five times outside, got into a fight for "looking at someone's girl", saw some guy who said he had broken his ankle from jumping off the MU balcony by the revolving door hopping around, had a cop tell me to get home safely after he saw me puking by the horse barn, and I finally passed out as soon as I opened the door to my apartment.
My girlfriend woke me up because I had left my keys in the door and when she opened the door, it hit me straight in the face. She told me that right after I left the party she found a ride for me, but I never answered my phone. Fun times, fun times...
Stayed out at the bars until 2 than told a friend I wanted to go get Tequila and drink until the sun came up. About halfway through that bottle another friend came and sat on the couch next to me. I felt like he was invading my personel space, so I grabbed a steak knife off the coffee table and planned on taking a fake stab at him. It ended up going a couple inches into his thigh. Luckily he was hammered and it didn't bother him until the next morning when I took him to the hospital for stiches and bought him breakfast at Perkins.
Iowa game 2009. We left Ames, very well on our way, the day started at 400 am with Red Bull and jeager, and we hit some small town bars in Story County. A local/regular at the bar was paying with his change and he looked at my wife and asked why her face was all red. Without hesitation, I went into Danny Devito's line from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia that we banged in the bathroom and put bacon bits in her hair to make her feel like a cobb salad. This local was amazed and speechless.
One time after pregaming a football game last year, I mistook a "little person" for someone's little sister. I quote:
"Aww that's cute, someone is bringing their little sister to the game"
I really hope she didn't hear me say it, don't think she did. I still feel terrible for it, though. Nonetheless, my friends will never let me forget it.
"Aww that's cute, someone is bringing their little sister to the game"
I really hope she didn't hear me say it, don't think she did. I still feel terrible for it, though. Nonetheless, my friends will never let me forget it.
22nd birthday. Cy's. 3 shots of Turkey waiting for me when I got there. At some point during the evening I switched over to Gorilla Farts.
Most of the night was pretty hazy. I do remember that my GF drove, and we parked on Chamberlain. I ralphed 5 times between Cy's and the car. Puked a couple more times after I got home for good measure.
The next day my GF's sister-in-law wanted to take me out for brunch. At KFC (up at the mall in those days). That was just about enough to trigger Round 3.
Most of the night was pretty hazy. I do remember that my GF drove, and we parked on Chamberlain. I ralphed 5 times between Cy's and the car. Puked a couple more times after I got home for good measure.
The next day my GF's sister-in-law wanted to take me out for brunch. At KFC (up at the mall in those days). That was just about enough to trigger Round 3.
My old roommate and I were drinking at Paddy's one night only somewhat heavily. All of a sudden I realized I was alone at the bar as he and the rest of my friends left. Like any normal person I walked around for awhile, had another drink, then got on the bus and went home. I hung out at the apartment for awhile then passed out. I woke up in the morning and checked to see if he was home and he wasn't. I figured he probably slept in his car or at our buddy's. I fell back asleep for a few more hours, until about noon, and checked again. Still wasn't there. I decided I would shower and call my friends to see if they've seen him. While I was in the shower, my other roommate checked the Story County Inmate Roster and sure enough he was on there. After hearing this I picked up one of my friends and headed to Nevada. We talked the whole way there about how in the hell he ended up in jail and came up with many possible hilarious ways.
What actually happened ended up being much funnier than any of the stories we came up with. When we picked him up he walked out and all the cop who was escorting him said was, "get yourself a new pair of pants." He had completely ripped his jeans and had blood and puke all over them. The jeans were no longer covering up his ***.
Apparently the shots we took at the bar had gotten him really drunk and when he couldn't find anybody he decided to walk to his car on beach. He took the most direct route through all of the fences that are between Welch and Beach and fell over almost all of them, hence the ripped jeans. He made it about half way to Beach when he said screw it and decided to walk home across from West Towne Pub (about 2 miles). He was just getting ready to cross the street to get to our apartment complex when a cop picks him up because there was a complaint about an individual staggering and falling down along Mortensen. He ends up arrested and pukes all over himself and the backseat of the cop car. When we picked him up he had no idea he wasn't in Ames.
I have never laughed so hard as I did when he first walked into the waiting room at the jail with completely ripped and stained jeans. His mugshot rivaled Nick Notle's. I would pay at least 1,000 dollars to have video of him trying to get over those fences.
What actually happened ended up being much funnier than any of the stories we came up with. When we picked him up he walked out and all the cop who was escorting him said was, "get yourself a new pair of pants." He had completely ripped his jeans and had blood and puke all over them. The jeans were no longer covering up his ***.
Apparently the shots we took at the bar had gotten him really drunk and when he couldn't find anybody he decided to walk to his car on beach. He took the most direct route through all of the fences that are between Welch and Beach and fell over almost all of them, hence the ripped jeans. He made it about half way to Beach when he said screw it and decided to walk home across from West Towne Pub (about 2 miles). He was just getting ready to cross the street to get to our apartment complex when a cop picks him up because there was a complaint about an individual staggering and falling down along Mortensen. He ends up arrested and pukes all over himself and the backseat of the cop car. When we picked him up he had no idea he wasn't in Ames.
I have never laughed so hard as I did when he first walked into the waiting room at the jail with completely ripped and stained jeans. His mugshot rivaled Nick Notle's. I would pay at least 1,000 dollars to have video of him trying to get over those fences.
