Friday OT - In Your Wheelhouse

My dad said,

"Nuttier than a Fruit Cake."
"Colder than a witch's tits"

Had an older acquaintance say during a downpour, "It's raining n****r babies and pitchforks." I laughed in spite of myself.
 
I’m sure there are others, but one that I have started using is “not my monkey, not my circus.”

This actually happened to my dad, but he’ll occasionally use “Katie bar the door” (has the same meaning as “all hell will break loose”). He used it once in a conference call and there was a pause on the line and the other person asked if he ok and who Katie was.
 
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I forgot one of my favorites - “goat rodeo” for any kind of unorganized chaos.
"I've been to 3 World Fairs and the Kansas City Goat ****, but I have never seen anything like this"

or just "goat ****" in general, for a chaotic and/or stupid situation.
 
I’m sure there are others, but one that I have started using is “not my monkey, not my circus.”

This actually happened to my dad, but he’ll occasionally use “Katie bar the door” (has the same meaning as “all hell will break loose”). He used it once in a conference call and there was a pause on the line and the other person asked if he ok and who Katie was.
"Katie bar the door" is up there with "good night Irene" in terms of old-guy phrases.

On the subject of old man stuff, surprised we haven't seen "hotter than Hell's half-acre". That was grandpa's fave, and dad & I still use it a lot.
 
"not my baliwick" or "ask Fred, that's his baliwick". Picked those up from a former boss.
 
I have used most of the phrases that have been mentioned already, but my Grandfather (RIP) had one that still makes me smile…….

If he was in a debate / argument about something and he felt pretty strongly about his stance, he would say……”Tell you what, if you’re right I will kiss your *ss on fourth street (popular, heavily traveled street in Sioux City), and give you a half an hour to draw a crowd.”

He wasn’t wrong much…..
 
One I often hear in negotiations is that someone needs to put some "skin in the game". I honestly don't understand where it came from. I mean, I know it means that someone needs to put something on the line to make the deal fair, but how did it get there? I guess I could look it up, but I'm not that invested. :)
 
A few years ago a co-worker hung up with a client after a long frustrating call and said "Talking to that ****** is like nailing jello to a wall."

I sorta fell in love with it.
 
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Bob's your uncle - everything is/will be perfect
Hitch in its getalong - broken, malfunctioning
Bless your heart (southern style) - can mean many things (mostly related to GFY) but NEVER means anything good and always said with a fake smile
Six ways to Sunday - every possible avenue of thought or effort has been made
Lagniappe (pronounced lawnyap) - a little something extra
It don't make me no nevermind - it doesn't matter to me
That dog don't hunt - it won't work
cattywampus - crooked
Gussied up - dressed up for church or a night out
gimme some sugar - hugs, air kisses, etc; used when greeting someone familiar to you
,,,as all get out - adds extra oomph to a phrase, ex: "I'm hungry as all get out" means "I'm VERY hungry"

So many more that I use; most are from my mother (Louisiana born, Houston raised) and my grandparents (from a ranch in the Hill Country of Texas)
 
One I often hear in negotiations is that someone needs to put some "skin in the game". I honestly don't understand where it came from. I mean, I know it means that someone needs to put something on the line to make the deal fair, but how did it get there? I guess I could look it up, but I'm not that invested. :)
Was this just a cool way of not saying "you have no skin in the game?"
 
Hotter than a $2 wh*re on dollar night- it’s hot (the hotter it is, the higher the dollar amount)
Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes- that was a dumb thing to do
Got a dog in the hunt- you’re in the race
That dog won’t hunt- that’s not going to happen
As I’ve gotten older more I’ve started using the term Judas Priest more often as an alternative to swearing. Something I picked up from my Grandpa a long time ago I guess

Edit: I forgot “You know what grinds my gears”
 
Speaking of "wheel"house, I came across this photo on Google maps street view.
What is the payload of that thing???

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Hotter than a $2 wh*re on dollar night- it’s hot (the hotter it is, the higher the dollar amount)
Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes- that was a dumb thing to do
Got a dog in the hunt- you’re in the race
That dog won’t hunt- that’s not going to happen
As I’ve gotten older more I’ve started using the term Judas Priest more often as an alternative to swearing. Something I picked up from my Grandpa a long time ago I guess

Edit: I forgot “You know what grinds my gears”
Hotter than a $2.00 pistol.
Deader than a door nail.
Tighter than a bull's hind-end.
 
A few years ago a co-worker hung up with a client after a long frustrating call and said "Talking to that ****** is like railing jello to a wall."

I sorta fell in love with it.
That's Nailing Jello to a wall, not railing it. Makes more sense to.
 
"dumber than a bag of hammers" from movie O Brother Where Art Thou
"more crooked than a $3 bill" - a con man
"get off your high horse" - don't think you are better than others

On a related topic, a good thread would be most famous/favorite movie quotes. Maybe it has already been done.
 
Some phrases I use at work as a field engineer.

"It's held together with bubblegum and baling twine." (An unconventional, short term fix.)

"There's a lot of horsepower on this call." (A lot of smart people are involved.)

"That went over like a lead zeppelin." (A poor proposal or failed repair.)

"It my (third, forth, fifth) Monday this week. (A bad week.)

"Have we tried lighting it on fire?" (Multiple attempts to repair have failed and we're out off ideas.)
 

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