I just finished a 45 day stint in rehab due to alcohol abuse. I started drinking at 18 in 1979. It really was not a problem until 2009. My career took a hit when a guy I thought was a friend and I hired stabbed me in the back. It was also around the time of Mad Men, and we started keeping Single Barrel Burboun and Single Malt in the house all the time. I would have my first drink as soon as I walked in the door, but that was usually between 7pm and 10pm. Then I had a career change and started getting home at 4:30. So starting when I walked through the door made things considerably worse.
In 2018 I began going to AA but I hated it. I never did a step past #1, and never got a sponsor. Still I made it 13.5 months sober. Then in November 2019, at a tailgate, a I decided I could handle it, and did ok through the end of 2022. Following Cancer Surgery removed my stomach, I continued to drink and my wife was getting concerned, but it had still not reached a crisis point.
In the spring of 2025 my daughter was diagnosed with the same cancer, but her's was stage 4. She died last October, and the crisis was getting big in the window. I can't remember anything that happened after 7 pm for most of May 2026. At that point it was Rehab or lose my family. Almost unbelievably my job performance was receiving awards and no one new I had a problem.
Now I'm back home. A couple of things I always thought were stupid were Journaling and Meditation. They became my most important allies in my recovery. I'm continuing both, and I'm going to a Buddhist Temple to continue to improve my meditation skills. I'm going to a more White Collar AA group, but I am also going to the Science based Smart Recovery, and Recovery Dharma.
I think my 13 months of sobriety in 18-19 both showed me that I can live alcohol free, but I can't ever drink again. I am going to get it done this time, one day at a time.
If anyone else is battling addiction of any kind and would like to post here about your journey, it would be great to know we are not in this alone.
