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Random thoughts thread

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cyrocksmypants said:
It's so weird being the one in the vast minority of those that doesn't want kids. Some people seem like they can't even wrap their heads around it. They think I just hate babies or kids. My family is furious with me too, because I'm the only one that can "carry on the family name". I will say, it is harder and harder in the dating scene as I get older. Being 31, women of like age that don't have children generally don't want anything to do with it when I say I don't want kids, because apparently ALL of their biological clocks are ticking.
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Vast minority? Is that an Iowa thing? There doesn't seem to be any overriding societal pressure to have children where I'm at. I dated multiple women who were on the same page with me as far as not having children. My strict no kids policy was never an issue at all.

To have kids because of pressure from parents or because it's the thing to do....worst reasons around.

I'm not having children because I don't want to and I don't give a whoot if moms and pops have an issue with that. It doesn't interest me in the slightest.
 
I'll be honest and admit I have been struggling with my purpose in life lately. Sometimes I think having kids would solve that issue because I would be a great father. On the other hand, I love traveling, eating out, and being free so kids would ruin that.
 
mtowncyclone13 said:
I'll be honest and admit I have been struggling with my purpose in life lately. Sometimes I think having kids would solve that issue because I would be a great father. On the other hand, I love traveling, eating out, and being free so kids would ruin that.
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Depending on the child and the parenting, you can still do those things. I have friends that have taken their baby hiking, boating, and other outdoorsy things. It just takes extra planning and some things may have to be modified.

Z does great at restaurants so far if she gets to eat too. Hopefully it will continue into toddlerhood.

At the same time, if you're not sure or don't want kids, you shouldn't feel pressured to have them. It is your and Sig. Other's decision.
 
cmjh10 said:
Lone Survivor is such a roller coaster of emotions. First you are laughing, then you are serious, then you feel alll sad and depressed inside, then finally, you feel like you could run through anything for this country.

Such an incredible story.
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Arrived from Netflix last night...watching it tonight.
 
cowgirl836 said:
just so you know, I totally had a dream that we had a baby last night. I went back to work 5 days later though, which sucked. I do remember feeling like I loved that baby more than anything - and I'm sure a dream can't really convey the real feeling. The baby was also like, perfect, sleeping and never crying. And DH was a super helpful Dad. So yeah, if it all goes like that (minus the immediate working thing), it didn't seem so bad, hahaha!
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Yeah.... so..... about that whole not crying thing?

They do sleep A LOT at first, but eventually that stops. Then you are at the whim of the little bugger for a long long time.
 
There are some things in life I'll never understand:

1. Wanting to have children
2. Yoga
3. Religion

All great mysteries to me. I'm sure I'll think of more....
 
I feel like I'm getting a little too crazy with this financial stuff. I read other people saying they're only paying 20% of net income on housing and then I look and freak out at being -$600 if we get to 3 kids in full-time daycare and that's still with $200 a month vacation savings, $800 just for regular savings, then additional for gym membership, eating out, etc. So plenty of places to cut that difference out. And that also includes just current salaries without bonus and putting 12% to 401k. Does not include any increase in take-home from mortgage tax deductions. I feel like expecting our salaries to stay the same for the next 5 years is a bit pessimistic since we have both gotten raises every year. Plus we would still be keeping an emergency fund that would fund total expenses for at least 8 months if we BOTH lost our jobs, and would last a couple years if DH were out, and probably not ever run out if I lost my job and we cut a couple things.

Is that ridiculous or is there something big I'm missing? I feel like I'm being abundantly over cautious on this.
 
cowgirl836 said:
I feel like I'm getting a little too crazy with this financial stuff. I read other people saying they're only paying 20% of net income on housing and then I look and freak out at being -$600 if we get to 3 kids in full-time daycare and that's still with $200 a month vacation savings, $800 just for regular savings, then additional for gym membership, eating out, etc. So plenty of places to cut that difference out. And that also includes just current salaries without bonus and putting 12% to 401k. Does not include any increase in take-home from mortgage tax deductions. I feel like expecting our salaries to stay the same for the next 5 years is a bit pessimistic since we have both gotten raises every year. Plus we would still be keeping an emergency fund that would fund total expenses for at least 8 months if we BOTH lost our jobs, and would last a couple years if DH were out, and probably not ever run out if I lost my job and we cut a couple things.

Is that ridiculous or is there something big I'm missing? I feel like I'm being abundantly over cautious on this.
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This is what we do and please note I'm going to lose my job soon so it may change drastically very quickly. All numbers are NET and not gross income.

Mortgage (PITI) 17.6%
Retirements 11.5%
Other Savings 11%
Non-Mortgage Debt 9%
Car/Life Insurance 9%
TV/Internet/Cell 5%
Utilities 4%

Everything else: 32.9%
Since we save a lot I have no idea where this money goes.
 
WooClone15 said:
My neighbors just had twins, and apperently the twins have learned the divide and conquer method where they don't eat and sleep at the same time
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I don't have experience or friends with twins. I don't know how that works. At least one of the posters on CF does though. Can't remember which one for sure though.
 
Kids are awesome. They are also a hell of a lot of work.

Holding that little bundle in your hand and raising them as good kids is basically the meaning of life in my eyes.

However, you have to be ready and know what you're getting into. They put a strain on your relationships as well as your finances.

I want to smack teenagers who get pregnant on purpose.

If you aren't sure you want kids, then wait.
 
cyhiphopp said:
Kids are awesome. They are also a hell of a lot of work.

Holding that little bundle in your hand and raising them as good kids is basically the meaning of life in my eyes.

However, you have to be ready and know what you're getting into. They put a strain on your relationships as well as your finances.

I want to smack teenagers who get pregnant on purpose.

If you aren't sure you want kids, then wait.
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That is a wonderful sentiment, but until I got to "as good kids" I pictured you holding your child and lifting it above your head like in the lion king.
 
mtowncyclone13 said:
This is what we do and please note I'm going to lose my job soon so it may change drastically very quickly. All numbers are NET and not gross income.

Mortgage (PITI) 17.6%
Retirements 11.5%
Other Savings 11%
Non-Mortgage Debt 9%
Car/Life Insurance 9%
TV/Internet/Cell 5%
Utilities 4%

Everything else: 32.9%
Since we save a lot I have no idea where this money goes.
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see for today and really until we get to 3 kids, it's totally fine.


PITI estimated range 30%-33%

Retirements 12% (pre-tax)
Non-Mortgage Debt 0%
Car Insurance 2%, life insurance is through work, don't see the deduction for it. There may not be one, I believe it's just a standard benefit.
TV/Internet/Cell 4.5%
Savings estimated 37%, 58% right now
Everything else: 15%
Utilities currently 1.3% estimated 3% for house
Estimated home maintenance 5.4% (if we build though, this should be lower but I'm keeping high for initial things like furniture, snow blower, lawnmower, etc.)

We live on my salary now, and if we buy, it would essentially flip and we'd live on DH's salary plus probably 10-15% of mine. I was supposed to know my salary for this year (fiscal year is Jul 1) but they pushed it back for a couple things. So I won't know for another month yet, but it will be retroactive and I have been told it will not go down. DH's salary raise (if there is one) would also come right before we would start building. Optimistically then, the PITI should not be 33% by the time we start paying, but I'm keeping it there for now.
 
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