Old people shuffle
- Thread starter dafarmer
- Start date
Did you instantly look around to see if anyone saw you? If no one sees you it didn't happen.
Here you go, get a set of these and you will have no problem getting around. I knew an older guy that delivered the Burlington paper first thing in the morning and he swore by them. Good luck
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I don't have the old man shuffle yet, but sometimes I have the old man hustle thing going. Where you walk at your normal pace, but your steps are shorter, so you look like you're speed walking. Depressing.
Also, a month ago I went to get the mail, stepped wrong on the curb, blew out my ankle and fell right into the street. Traffic stopped so as not to run me over. That hurt more than the ankle, and that actually hurt a lot.
What a drag it is, getting old.
Also, a month ago I went to get the mail, stepped wrong on the curb, blew out my ankle and fell right into the street. Traffic stopped so as not to run me over. That hurt more than the ankle, and that actually hurt a lot.
What a drag it is, getting old.
Wife blew out her ACL a couple of seasons back.
Ice don't care what ya damn age is. It's out fo blood
Ice don't care what ya damn age is. It's out fo blood
During my first winter at ISU, I was walking across the Great Lawn from Curtiss towards Beardshear. I saw someone slip and fall down both sets of stairs of Beardshear. It is still the funniest things I've ever seen live.
Dude 100% looked like a cartoon. He had a handful of files in his arms and a backpack. He just gotten past the columns and then the fun started. He started sliding sideways helplessly and he went into an impromptu Russian Cossack dance. Finally, both of his legs shot forward up into the air simultaneously and he let out a very audible "****".
By trying to brace himself the files in his arms were the first casualty. He made it rain files and papers in every direction like a majestic fan. He landed on his backside and the ice and his momentum proceeded to carry him towards the stairs. He proceeded to go down the stairs haphazardly, chasing files and papers along the way.
By the time he hit the landing between the stairs, he had gotten turned around so he was still on his back , but now he was going headfirst towards the second set of stairs. I'd like to add that his backpack was not helping this poor man gain any semblance of balance or control of the situation and it gave him a bit of a helpless turtle appearance. And he was NOT slowing down.
He then proceeded to careen down the 2nd flight of stairs, arms wildly flailing in a futile attempt to slow down his demise. He finally skidded to a stop at the foot of the stairs and just stayed there for awhile as the shrapnel of papers and files were strewn all about in a sort of beautiful semicircle array around him.
There were about 3 other people like myself that had completely stopped walking to admire the tragedy that just took place. We all just kinda glanced at each other, knowing we had just witnessed greatness.
We then helped him gather his things and went our separate ways. I surprisingly never laughed at the man that day, because it would have been a **** move and he could have easily suffered some internal injuries. But, if I'm honest, I've replayed that scene in my mind several times since then. It still remains one of the funniest unscripted things I've every witnessed.
Dude 100% looked like a cartoon. He had a handful of files in his arms and a backpack. He just gotten past the columns and then the fun started. He started sliding sideways helplessly and he went into an impromptu Russian Cossack dance. Finally, both of his legs shot forward up into the air simultaneously and he let out a very audible "****".
By trying to brace himself the files in his arms were the first casualty. He made it rain files and papers in every direction like a majestic fan. He landed on his backside and the ice and his momentum proceeded to carry him towards the stairs. He proceeded to go down the stairs haphazardly, chasing files and papers along the way.
By the time he hit the landing between the stairs, he had gotten turned around so he was still on his back , but now he was going headfirst towards the second set of stairs. I'd like to add that his backpack was not helping this poor man gain any semblance of balance or control of the situation and it gave him a bit of a helpless turtle appearance. And he was NOT slowing down.
He then proceeded to careen down the 2nd flight of stairs, arms wildly flailing in a futile attempt to slow down his demise. He finally skidded to a stop at the foot of the stairs and just stayed there for awhile as the shrapnel of papers and files were strewn all about in a sort of beautiful semicircle array around him.
There were about 3 other people like myself that had completely stopped walking to admire the tragedy that just took place. We all just kinda glanced at each other, knowing we had just witnessed greatness.
We then helped him gather his things and went our separate ways. I surprisingly never laughed at the man that day, because it would have been a **** move and he could have easily suffered some internal injuries. But, if I'm honest, I've replayed that scene in my mind several times since then. It still remains one of the funniest unscripted things I've every witnessed.
This is glorious. Thanks for sharing, @coolerifyoudid. Pulitzer material right here.
My small porch and landing is all old 2x4 redwood decking. Needs replacing or redecking and people keep thinking I'll use Trex of something. Going to have to go with treated wood for just the reason you mention. Real wood absorbs the south sun nicely and melts the ice/frost off the entrance. Also most took a flyer crossing the synthetic deck at a bar for winter game watch a few years back. Stuff is Teflon! Fine for sunny day use, not so fine if raining or snowing.
Yeah, and we all know people who were not lucky enough to get to experience that drag.
Cyclonepride
Thought Police
I had a rule in college that if I slipped and fell on the way to class that I would turn around and just go home. Only had to use it twice.
Daughter fell once at ISU. Walking on the asphalt path that runs north past Elm. She misstepped and just ate it bad. Some big guy comes up and is like "are you OK?" and she is embarrassed and already awkward enough and was like "I'm fine" and bolted without even making eye contact.
Later she is telling me this while watching a game and says "Hey, I think that's the guy that tried to help me up".
Georges.
Later she is telling me this while watching a game and says "Hey, I think that's the guy that tried to help me up".
Georges.
Georges played an old man's game, so I'm sure his old man shuffle on the ice was top notch.
