Office etiquette

I'd like to air an office grievance. I work in a 20 story building, my company has the entire floor above me and about 2/3 of my floor. The other 1/3 is used by a company that is also on three or four other floors. There's one set of bathrooms on each floor.

Well, there's this one guy who works on a different floor, for the other company also located on my floor, who comes and takes a dump in our floor's bathroom, pretty much every day. Gets off the elevator, to the bathrooms, back on the elevator.

That's grounds for dismissal, in my mind. Stick to your floor's crapper, buddy.

I work with a bunch of engineers so the office is probably 70/30 male:female so the men’s bathroom on the floor is often full. I’ve offered two solutions — **** shaming the guys who take half an hour and/or converting one female restroom per floor to unisex. But the women run the place so I get nowhere. It’s very common to have to go down one or two floors to find an available toilet.
 
We have three microwaves in the break room and I like to leave a few seconds left on all of them. I expect one of these anal retentive psychos I work with will come in and shoot up the place one day.

Speaking of break rooms and microwaves - NO SEAFOOD! DO NOT HEAT UP SEAFOOD IN THE OFFICE MICROWAVE!
 
I'll take seafood over burnt popcorn any day of the week.
I think what is so damn annoying about this is that the people who are seafood perpetrators have zero freakin clue or just don't give a crap about anyone else. Popcorn, while easily done correctly, can be chalked up to an honest mistake.
 
Speaking of break rooms and microwaves - NO SEAFOOD! DO NOT HEAT UP SEAFOOD IN THE OFFICE MICROWAVE!
I feel this way about garlic. People heat up meals with crap-tons of garlic and man does that stank. What is today’s obsession with garlic in EVERYTHING? I mean, can you even get mashed potatoes at a restaurant without garlic in them?
 
The light in our office bathroom turns off after 10 minutes or so if it doesn't detect motion, and sometimes I go in to pee and someone is on the crapper in the pitch dark. It is creepy and funny at the same time.
 
I use flatulence to assert dominance in the office.
The light in our office bathroom turns off after 10 minutes or so if it doesn't detect motion, and sometimes I go in to pee and someone is on the crapper in the pitch dark. It is creepy and funny at the same time.
I like to turn the light off in the restroom as I leave when I know someone is in a stall
 
I feel this way about garlic. People heat up meals with crap-tons of garlic and man does that stank. What is today’s obsession with garlic in EVERYTHING? I mean, can you even get mashed potatoes at a restaurant without garlic in them?

Serious what is wrong with you?
 
The light in our office bathroom turns off after 10 minutes or so if it doesn't detect motion, and sometimes I go in to pee and someone is on the crapper in the pitch dark. It is creepy and funny at the same time.

No chance I want to sit 10 minutes on a toilet that my dirtbag coworkers sit on

It's NASCAR pit crew precision if it's a Code Brown and I'm forced to use a public toilet.

10 minutes??? Makes my skin crawl....and probably does the same to the leisurely public dumper.
 
What’s paper? What time does Starbucks deliver? Where is the yoga room?

Millennial workplace questions
 
I'll take seafood over burnt popcorn any day of the week.
Absolutely false...person in my office, who has a microwave close to their desk, brings their damn salmon to our microwave and nukes it for 5 minutes. WTF...salmon is great when done the first time on a grill...reheating...just...no.
 
No chance I want to sit 10 minutes on a toilet that my dirtbag coworkers sit on

It's NASCAR pit crew precision if it's a Code Brown and I'm forced to use a public toilet.

10 minutes??? Makes my skin crawl....and probably does the same to the leisurely public dumper.

Sometimes if you're laying serious heat you want to wait until the current crowd leaves so they can't see your shameful face... Or sometimes you want to own it like a boss.

And I'm a poop-talker which can be uncomfortable for some people.
 
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