Humpty Dumpty is ****ing weird

[Mr Janny]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Who was this guy? He must have been really important, because the King sends the ENTIRE ARMY to try to save one guy. That's the equivalent of calling in the 101st Airborne to rescue a pet cat out of a tree. Unless it's a really special cat, it's a significant overreaction.

And why exactly are the horses there? I realize that this particular nursery rhyme was written a long time ago. Were horses considered essential to the practice of medicine, in the past? Like "We can't do this amputation until the surgical horse is sanitized."? I get that it's an All Hands On Deck event, but aside from transportation to the site of the accident, what's Mr. Ed bringing to the table?

Also, why is Humpty Dumpty always depicted as an egg? That's nowhere in the rhyme. Where are we getting "egg" out of that? There's nothing more to the story, as far as I know. No second verse saying:

Humpty Dumpty pleaded and begged
Humpty screamed while they stitched up his leg
But all of their efforts
And all of their vomit
Couldn't keep Humpty from becoming an omelette.

Not to mention that this tale of death and dismemberment and failed animal medical practices is intended for kids.

 

[baller21]

 

[Pope]

Just 33 more days to kickoff. Can't come soon enough.

 

[Gunnerclone]

The only thing I think about daily besides the Roman Empire is this.

 

[CycloneDaddy]

The only thing I think about daily besides the Roman Empire is this.

The only thing I think about daily is @CoachHines3 mom!!!

 

[IceCyIce]

Somebody's been drinking and consuming mushrooms again. You're not supposed to do that.

 

[simply1]

There are some dark nursery rhymes out there.

 

[ribsnwhiskey]

I thought it was a dance by a guy with a fake nose.

 

[CySmurf]

Shouldn't have called a code red...

 

[BMWallace]

There is a theory that Humpty Dumpty was based on a large cannon used in the English Civil War (1642-49) and was mounted on a castle in the town of Colchester.

During a siege of Colchester near the end of the war, the walls beneath the cannon were destroyed, causing it to fall, and be damaged beyond repair.

https://www.fjg.co.uk/humpty-dumpty-cannon-not-egg/

 

[Pitt_Clone]

There is a theory that Humpty Dumpty was based on a large cannon used in the English Civil War (1642-49) and was mounted on a castle in the town of Colchester.

During a siege of Colchester near the end of the war, the walls beneath the cannon were destroyed, causing it to fall, and be damaged beyond repair.

https://www.fjg.co.uk/humpty-dumpty-cannon-not-egg/

I've heard that it's an old wooden ship.

 

[arobb]

 

[TexCyted]

I like Easy E's version better.

 

[Cyclonsin]

There is a theory that Humpty Dumpty was based on a large cannon used in the English Civil War (1642-49) and was mounted on a castle in the town of Colchester.

During a siege of Colchester near the end of the war, the walls beneath the cannon were destroyed, causing it to fall, and be damaged beyond repair.

https://www.fjg.co.uk/humpty-dumpty-cannon-not-egg/

I've heard the same and wanted to add it fell into the moat beneath the castle walls, and they needed "all the king's horses" to help pull it out.

 

[JP4CY]

I thought it was a dance by a guy with a fake nose.

2Pac was a back up singer.

 

[JM4CY]

Obligatory

 

[cytor]

I love Lamp.

 

[CoachHines3]

The only thing I think about daily is @CoachHines3 mom!!!

daddy?

 

[CycloneWanderer]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Who was this guy? He must have been really important, because the King sends the ENTIRE ARMY to try to save one guy. That's the equivalent of calling in the 101st Airborne to rescue a pet cat out of a tree. Unless it's a really special cat, it's a significant overreaction.

And why exactly are the horses there? I realize that this particular nursery rhyme was written a long time ago. Were horses considered essential to the practice of medicine, in the past? Like "We can't do this amputation until the surgical horse is sanitized."? I get that it's an All Hands On Deck event, but aside from transportation to the site of the accident, what's Mr. Ed bringing to the table?

Also, why is Humpty Dumpty always depicted as an egg? That's nowhere in the rhyme. Where are we getting "egg" out of that? There's nothing more to the story, as far as I know. No second verse saying:

Humpty Dumpty pleaded and begged
Humpty screamed while they stitched up his leg
But all of their efforts
And all of their vomit
Couldn't keep Humpty from becoming an omelette.

Not to mention that this tale of death and dismemberment and failed animal medical practices is intended for kids.

Here is the oldest known version (perhaps the original?). It will at least resolve the horse and king and army ****.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Four-score Men and Four-score more,
Could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before.

 

[Turn2]

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “humpty dumpty” was first used in the 17th century and referred to brandy boiled with ale. In the 1700s, it was also a term used to describe a short, clumsy person. It has also been a nickname attributed to someone who has had too much alcohol (perhaps imbibing the drink of the same name).

The Origin of Humpty Dumpty

Nevin asks: Why is “Humpty Dumpty” always depicted as an egg? As you seem to have noticed, in the “Humpty Dumpty” nursery rhyme, nowhere does it say that Humpty is an egg, yet he is often presented as such in pictures and stories. The version of the rhyme that most children learn today goes like...

www.todayifoundout.com