Friday OT - In-laws

[ThatllDoCy]

So, not my MIL, but thought I would share a story about my sister's. I used to go visit my sister in Boston every year for my niece's birthday. I like my BIL and he is a good guy, and good to my sister. His Mother is a bit of an oddball. She came up from NYC, and mysteriously brought a younger woman with her. It was a bit awkward and all parties were polite, but it seems that my sister's MIL had duped this woman into coming with the intentions of hooking her up with her son. Who happens to be married with child to my sister. In front of her in-laws on her grandchild's birthday. Thankfully my niece was only 2 so the whole thing was lost on her, as she was more interested in cookies than anything else.

So after about 24 hours the woman caught on and went back to NYC or maybe just spent her time in Boston with friends or something. It really didn't occur to me until after what was going on, but my sister clued me in.

So, I have some issues with my MIL's attitude's about certain things, but count myself lucky she isn't bringing men home to meet my wife.

 

[bugs4cy]

We don't have kids, and never will, and that's a very good thing as it would be an ordeal with both families. Never mind that we collectively have over 40 nieces and nephews so it's not like there is a shortage of grandkids on either side. When end we got married it was rough. Lutheran + Catholic so neither side was happy. The horror stories I could tell you...

I get along great with MIL and FIL. Small group settings are fine but bring the rest of the siblings in and it goes to hell in a hand basket. It's a constant king of the jungle competition. I learned a few years ago that could remove a massive amount of stress from my life by not attending family holidays at the in-laws.

Both sets of our parents are in their mid 80's so most of our complications now are age/health related. I go to my folks' doctor appointments and go home quite a bit (only an hour away) to help with little things around the farm. I make lots of freezer meals for my parents to lighten the load on my Mom. I leave the level of interaction with his family to my husband. We used to live just a few miles away from them and visited and helped out quite a bit. Now they're 2 hours away so quick trips are more complicated. And it seems like no matter what we do (do something or do nothing) one of the siblings has something to say about it.

 

[MeanDean]

SO's family are okay. Brothers and sister are all fine. One brother is what I call a "true believer". Whatever thing he's into at that particular time is the end-all be-all. Last one was Herbal Life. Every conversation eventually ended up with a testimonial of some customer that had some health problem, drank one magic potion shake, and was cured for life. Eventually the doctor told us not to use it anymore, just eat healthy meals. When told we would not be ordering anymore we were hounded as to why. When we said doctor recommended it, the wife said, "What do doctors know about it!" so there were some tense months after that for a while. She ended up dying from colon cancer so maybe she should have checked with a doctor somewhere along the way. I think that phase (Herbal Life) is over.

Their family also will talk about who will get what when so and so dies, which I think is kind of weird. Our family never discusses such things - assuming the owner will make it know if it's important. In other words, the grantee initiates any such discussions, not some other family member who thinks they can mention it and somehow lay claim to it while the owner is still alive.

Also, they don't really plan family get togethers in advance much. And then they change the plans at the last minute, sometimes after we've already acted on the previous plan (bought the food requested or even prepared it).

 

[Angie]

the thing about common sense is that it doesn't appear to be too common.........especially where grandchildren are concerned!

Yeah, some people get Baby Rabies and go all nuts. I can't imagine wanting to invite myself to intrude on a family's bonding time as a unit for extended time, but some grandparents forget that time isn't about them.

 

[cowgirl836]

So, not my MIL, but thought I would share a story about my sister's. I used to go visit my sister in Boston every year for my niece's birthday. I like my BIL and he is a good guy, and good to my sister. His Mother is a bit of an oddball. She came up from NYC, and mysteriously brought a younger woman with her. It was a bit awkward and all parties were polite, but it seems that my sister's MIL had duped this woman into coming with the intentions of hooking her up with her son. Who happens to be married with child to my sister. In front of her in-laws on her grandchild's birthday. Thankfully my niece was only 2 so the whole thing was lost on her, as she was more interested in cookies than anything else.

So after about 24 hours the woman caught on and went back to NYC or maybe just spent her time in Boston with friends or something. It really didn't occur to me until after what was going on, but my sister clued me in.

So, I have some issues with my MIL's attitude's about certain things, but count myself lucky she isn't bringing men home to meet my wife.

holy wow! I know that my grandma did a similar thing when my parents had been dating for about 6 months - she set my dad up on a date with a woman who SHE liked. My dad didn't go, but my mom always said that should have set off quite a few more alarm bells in her mind than it did.

But seriously, married with a child? I hope the BIL reamed her a new one!

 

[IAStubborn]

After almost 8 years (11 total) of marriage where my wife and I have never been closer than 4 hours from my in-laws we are now 45 minutes away. To say the least, it has been an adjustment. I am hoping this is only temporary, and that is what is getting me through. Not that I don't like them, or anything, but I just don't like being so close. We have had multiple same day calls to meet up for dinner, or can they stop by, etc. One of the biggest things is the "advice" I get on my house and lawn, mind you, I am much more experience with landscaping/home repair as I worked in both fields over the years. I am sure everyone has this type of experience with in-laws. My wife and I have noticed that my responses to them are much shorter than they used to be. I don't know how to fix this, but seeing them so much more often makes it tougher for me to keep my opinion to myself than it used to be.

Oh, it is great we are close to our niece tho, (her brother's daughter). But, he asked us if we wanted to go to Frozen on Ice this coming January, I said I really have no interest, for some reason my wife was upset with my response. Am I wrong to not want to go to Frozen on ice???? Mind you, we don't have any kids of our own.

This happened to me when my mother in law retired and now makes many unexpected visits. I get in a bad mood the moment I see her and my answers have gotten short almost to the point I don't even attempt to mask my irritation with her and she doesn't even have to do anything now to annoy me except be there. I know I need to at least try and be nice but it is extremely difficult as she has an opinion about everything (usually based on something she saw on dr. Oz or something to that effect and often about stuff I know about and she has no freaking clue, oh and and she talks non stop. And even though my wife also gets annoyed with her if I say anything about it she gets super defensive. What makes matters worse is she really gets along well with my parents. I have learned this is the epitome of a no win situation. Just suck it up and smile.