CF Notable Posts: Second Trimester 2021

cyclones500

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My roundup of notable comments and quips from Cyclone Fanatic, May-August 2021. I got behind trying to do a month-by-month (Sorry).

Far from exhaustive, merely a sample of amusements I encountered. If anyone recalls a nugget I missed, feel free to add.

Due to high number of entries, I have to split the thread into May-June and July-August. Designation is for the month I saw the entry, not necessarily when thread was launched. If time permits, I'll add a realignment-related segment and a couple of bonus categories. No guarantees.

Some entries have been edited for clarity, brevity or spelling.
MAY

(Leftover from April 30)
From “Maple Syrup”
@cmjh10: When you use maple syrup, do you warm it up or just pull it out of the fridge/pantry and use it?
@FallOf81: Depends on what, or whom, you pour it on.
***
@ImJustKCClone: All of you weirdos like cold pancakes & waffles? It requires 15 seconds to nuke the syrup. Lazy bums!

From “And the 2021 Best Burger is …”
@Remo Gaggi: I tried a "veggie burger" once. It gave me gas, and wasn't really satisfying.
@kkise: The gas or the burger wasn’t satisfying?

From “Sweet Potatoes: Good or Bad?”
@Gonzo: Good. Cube a sweet potato, throw it in a saute pan with olive oil and diced onions, green and red peppers, minced garlic, diced bacon, a little ground pork sausage ... makes a fantastic hash.
@cytor: You had me at “hash.”
***
@KnappShack: The best sweet potato is a dead sweet potato.

From “Friday OT: Linger On, Your Pale Blue Eyes”
@Angie: What is your weakness in a potential mate?
@Cydar: My weakness is any woman willing to talk to me.

From “Kid Runs Over Another Kid in Football Drill”
@snowcraig2.0: If that was my kid who got set up like that, I'd beat the **** out of that coach.
@cyclonespiker33: By the time you remembered to pick the kid up, the coach would be long gone.

From “Sexy Cy”
@ImJustKCClone: Only on CF could an image of a deflated Cy lead to a post-mortem of an ill-fated, fictional love affair.

From “Friday OT: Makes Me Want to Sing With You”
@cyfanatic13: Who really DID let the dogs out?
@cyhiphopp: I did, so they wouldn't s*** in the house. The little one does anyway, half the time. Little s***, literally.

From “Sand Art, Including ISU!”
@coolerifyoudid: I'm 95% sure that if I ever took the time to learn how to do that, as soon I took my eye off it, my wife or daughter would pick it up and Etch-a-Sketch that s*** out of existence.

From “Excessive Drinking By County (Map)”
@Al_4_State: Oklahoma and West Virginia are lying through their teeth.
@heitclone: Don't you have to have teeth to lie through them?
***
@cycloner29: I feel like I single-handedly carried Story County last night.

From “More Opportunities For ISU Branding”
@Kagavi: I'm just a deranged person gibbering on the street corner in my bathrobe.
***
@ISUCyclones2015: @Kagavi is a special person. I met him 8 years ago at an @Cycsk tailgate. Him and his wife were incredible. I can't believe we lucked into someone like him for our community and agree with basically everything he's saying here.
@cyrocksmypants: Why don’t you two just make out already?

From “Friday OT: Go and Spoil It All By Saying Something Stupid”
@carvers4math: Pregnancy is not an excuse to grope a woman’s stomach.
@BCClone: I agree. I just check their milk-producers to see if the kid will get enough food or if he/she will need to be bottle-fed. My little way of assisting.

From “Friday OT: I’m Addicted to the Limelight”
@Angie: Who is the most famous person you ever met?
@farminclone: I met @ChrisMWilliams once. It was exhilarating.

From “Big 12 Record Predictions From Longhorn Wire”
@BCClone: We were so bad in the early ‘90s. You weren’t stopped carrying alcohol into JTS. In fact, it was encouraged.
@dualthreat: I got stopped for going in without alcohol.

JUNE

From “Coach K Retiring”

@DSMCy: Your mind is going to be blown if you Google Brad Stevens right now.
@intrepid27: "Brad Stevens" = About 41.3M results (0.75 seconds)
@Dandy: My wife HATES it when I produce 41.3M results in 0.75 seconds.

From “Friday OT: My Only Friend, The End”
@Angie: Do you have anything where, try as you might or might want, you cannot make it happen, no matter what? Some skill for which you are entirely ill-suited?
@cyfanatic13: Talking to women.

From “When to Buy New Underwear” (thread-bump; OP in 2015)
@intrepid27: I'm not sure which is most disturbing: (1) The fact this thread was ever started; (2) The fact someone felt compelled to reopen it 3 years later; (3) The fact I opened it today.
 
(SEGMENT 2)

JULY

From “The Shopping Cart Test”

@cycloneeric: If I'm planning to get a cart, I park next to the cart corral. That way, I can unload the cart, strap kiddo into car seat and walk a foot to put the cart away. Sorry for anyone who developed high blood pressure from this action-thriller of a post.

From “Celebrating a Kid in the Hospital”
@tim_redd: Iowa waved at my kid, but I still had to park 10 blocks away.

From “We Now Have a Fifth Ocean”
@Althetuna: National Geographic announced it is officially recognizing the body of water surrounding the Antarctic as the Earth's fifth ocean: the Southern Ocean.
@enisthemenace: I’ll never remember that, so no, we don’t.
@Cydar: Correction. Sixth ocean. The fifth one is Billy.
@MuskieCy: Wrong. No. 7, after Frank.

From “Hunter Deyo Commits”
@CyTwins: My wife could leave me for Matt Campbell and I wouldn't be mad.
@cytor: I just might leave my wife for him, if this keeps going.

From “Song on September 11, 2021, at 7:30”
@dafarmer: What song should be played after the ISU-U of I game?
@jcyclonee: Not something by Eric Church, whoever he is.
@CoachHines3: Whatever the Iowa band wants to play.

From “Commercialization of Holidays”
@TXCyclones: Christmas is the best Pagan holiday and I'm perfectly fine with it being commercialized. But I hate that it's been hijacked by Santa dying on a cross.

From “Grills: Weber vs. Napoleon”
@CycloneDaddy: I’m tall, so the Napoleon doesn’t work for me because it’s too short. Disclaimer: Maybe the worse dad joke ever***
***
@Pat: The availability of replacement parts is why I went Weber. If something fails after a decade, I don’t need a whole new grill. Actually… I may have made a terrible mistake…

From “Friday OT: What Do You Make Of It?”
@Angie: Share a photo of something you've made.
@moores2: In before someone posts a picture of kids.

From “If You Could Eat at 1 Fast-Food Restaurant”
@Big Daddy Kang: Probably Burger King, if wasn't for all the diarrheas.
(RELATED): From “Best Chicken Restaurant” (Poll: Chicken sandwich)
@IASTATE07: I'm concerned by the number of you who apparently get diarrhea everywhere you eat.

From “Son Just Got Accepted For Fall 2022”
@CascadeClone: Thinking about it, it's also a good way to meet people of different backgrounds — melting pot.
@MeanDean: Melting pot? Wow, they did it different when I was there in the '70s.

From “Jack Trice Stadium Capacity”
@theshadow: The listed capacity isn't likely to change until JP gets a better feel for what the reconfigured hillsides can hold.
@Aclone: JP has already said otherwise.
@Cydkar: Link?
Aclone: I’ll let someone else provide the link. I need coffee.

From (Hot dog toppings poll)
@tm3308: I’m a big fan of Chicago-style dogs, minus the pickle spear. I'd kill to find some sport peppers around where I live.
@Cyched: Have you tried moving?
tm3308: Murder is easier.

From “Wednesday OT: But wait, there’s more!”
@JP4CY: News of Ron Popeil passing. What have you, your spouse, your family bought off of an infomercial? Did it work?
@isucyfan: I heard they are not opting for either burial or cremation, but are desiccating him in a specially designed Ronco food dehydrator. It's simple: just set it and forget it.

AUGUST

From “Do You Love Your Job?”

@8bitnes: I love many parts of my job and dislike very few parts of the job. Kind of like how my wife dislikes when I breathe into a cup before taking another drink, instead of putting it down between drinks. She overlooks that for the rest of what I offer. I overlook that she gets hung up on me breathing into a cup.
***
@KnappShack: I can only say having a job is better than not having a job.
@Rural: So, they got to you, too.

From “JTS Overhead View”
@CoachHines3: Where’s my "we need a new press box" crowd?
@CYCLNST8: Here: We need a bigger press box.

From “Limited Concessions at JTS to Start the Season"
(OP, from press release): Similar to other organizations that rely on part-time service workers … (ISU) food service menus (concession stands, suites and club seats, etc.) will offer only basic stadium food items to start the season.
@tman24: So, same as any other year?
@Gunnerclone: I will bring a casserole. Please bring side dishes of your choice. No mayo in fruity cold salads, please.
@Bigman38: What would the non-basic food be? Is there a fancy concession stand hidden somewhere?
@Nothingman: The more exotic stuff. Like nachos.
@3TrueFans: I don't eat ethnic foods.

From “College Football Survivor Week 1”
@Cycsk: What are you doing inviting all these other players to join? It is hard enough to beat KC alone and you are recruiting more! Thanks a lot.
@ImJustKCClone: You shouldn't be yelling at @CycloneRulzzz for that … Rulzzz LIKES me! He pm'd me because he knew I was on vacation. How about THEM apples?
@BCClone: Vacation from what? Taking naps??

From “Williams & Blum Podcast” (Aug. 29)
@ChrisMWilliams: We can take dumps in my RV.
@brentblum: That’s encouraging.
 
Realignment-related musings

I struggled to find enough material for this segment, since, y’know, we’ve had so few threads devoted to the topic.

From “Report: OU, Texas reach out to join SEC”
@Jacktronic: I need something to take my mind off college athletics. I think I'll start doing meth.
***
@AuH2O: If JP comes out telling us about an agreement to join the AAC I'm bringing the jackhammer up to the ISU's Mt. Rushmore and taking him off. If he comes out to say that we've joined the Big 10 and don't have to give up much in terms of media rights, I'm taking the jackhammer up to clear off whatever other three heads are up there so JP can have it all to himself.

From “What Happens to Iowa State if Big 12 Implodes?”
@knowlesjam: All members of the Mountain West and American conferences make less than $10M per year...most are in the $5M-$6M range. Compare that to the $40M per year in the Big 12. Our FB and BB coaches would empty that pot ... leaving us Schlitz for anything else.
@cydsho: Schlitz? So there is a positive in all this!
@tim_redd: Give me six Schlitzes.
***
@CycloneErik: Perhaps, then, and only perhaps for now, Kansas must not be destroyed?
@1UNI2ISU: Kansas must be coddled and nurtured like newborn baby deer.

From “Wintersteen/Pollard Address the Fans”
@Freebird: My biggest takeaway from the video is that, after all these years, ISU still can’t stick to one goddamn Pantone scheme.
***
@yowza: Looked like a damned hostage propaganda video.
***
@cyrocksmypants: I’m sure Pollard is totally just sitting back, hoping to get lucky. That’s totally his style.
@dosry5 : That was how I handled things in college, usually worked. That was mostly right before the bars closed and it’s possible I didn’t always end up with the best options … Oh lawd, we’re in trouble … hello, Mountain West.

From “Pac-12 to decide to expand …”
@TXCyclones: It’s humorous to look back at all the failures of LHN. Originally developed to carry TX high school football to attract recruits … canceled. Never lived up to the hype. Now gutted by ESPN to placate the failure. Just precious.
@BillBrasky4Cy: It's literally the worst contract ESPN has ever signed, and that includes Stephen A. Smith.
 
Bonus material (aka shameless thread-bump)

Candidates for favorite thread title:
How Good We Jerry Moses? (“Let Me Mayor Coach” Thread-Title Award)
Cloeman-Landis Transfer
Friday OT: Vice Krispies (courtesy @Angie)
You May Be Able to Breathe Through Your Butt

Notable “try to unpack this comment” comments (I won’t call out the authors):
But I do agree that people do recognize and know more about Iowa State outside of the Midwest and big 12 County more than most of us probably realize.
****
Who do people that that the California schools are going to accept a POD where ISU has the easiest POD to make the championship.
 
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