CF posts of the month: November 2019

cyclones500

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Jan 29, 2010
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A few of my favorite CF comments from November 2019. Some are edited for clarity or brevity. As usual, if I missed anything good, feel free to add.

Splitting into two posts, due to high number of quotable.

PART 1 of 2

First, a leftover I missed from September:

From the thread “Non-conference schedule TV times"
@Messi: Dish carries Pac-12 network. Find a bar/restaurant that has it.
@IASTATE07: And risk going out in public? I think not.

On to November…

From “Oddly specific things (from the past) you would want to witness…
@ImJustKCClone: I would say "the discovery of fire,” but half of you (or more) already think I was there.

@jdoggivjc: Titanic, 1912. I want to know if that board actually was too small for two people or if Rose was being a selfish ***** and Jack was unnecessarily being a knight in shining armor.

@mapnerd: I would love to go back to the moment aliens started human life on this planet.
@farewayfool: Aliens built the pyramids.
@CoachHines3: You're goddamn right they did.

@Remo Gaggi: Sometime in 1979, when Hayden Fry is on his way to interview for the hoks job. Run him off the road into a ditch.

@Knownothing: (@MeanDean) Maybe for you it’s to meet Yoko before John did and try to not allow that meeting to happen.
MeanDean: Mankind would be better for it, but personally, I could not make the sacrifice.

@CyCrazy: Go back to the day Hardee’s management decided to get rid of the monster burger and kick them in the nuts.

@merx: On the moon to witness the moon landing.
@Knownothing: One small step for man … wait, who the hell are you and how did you get up here?

From “Questions for Weekly Mailbag” (for week of Nov. 3)
@Cyched: At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
@GTO: I probably spend more time on these type of questions than the serious football/basketball questions.
@Cyched: My questions aren’t serious to you, GTO?

@Cyclonee: Can I change my name to Darlingstone Dubar?

From “Anderson, Leech have entered draft portal”
@DurangoCy: That was quick.
@DFWClone: I’ve heard that before.

From “And Boom Goes the Dynamite"
@Knownothing
We have an all-name team for sure:

  • Tyrese Haliburton
  • Rasir Bolton
  • Prentiss Nixon
  • Zion Griffin
  • Darlingstone Dubar
  • Xavier Foster
  • Caleb Grill
  • Solomon Young
@Tri4Cy: That's a lot of Scrabble points!

My favorite “thread crossover” of the month
--> If you followed these individually, you’ll appreciate the overlap. Consensus answer to each seems to be “Probably Taco Time.” Links included to follow the general trajectory.

Burrito Place on Welch in the Late ‘90s?
by @gilaclone: Burrito place on Welch in late 90's — open after bars closed? it wasn't Pancheros, was it?

Taco Place Off Welch in Early ’70s?
by @dafarmer

Hookers on Welch in the ‘80s
by @2020cy: I swear there was a place on Welch between the old burrito place and new taco place that had hookers. Might be (mis)remembering.
 
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PART 2 of 2

From “Hawk Fan Reactions to XF Announcement”
@MLawrence: The Iowa marching band could teach the Iowa football offense a thing or two about barreling through the opposition.

From “It’s Grinding Week. Who You Got?” (started by @surly)
@2020cy: Umm, my wife?

From “Whar Rulzzz?”
@2020cy: Game thread?
@cyfanatic13: It’s Friday, Bro.
@CycloneRulzzz: JFC, this thread almost gave me a heart attack.

(Next day, from official GameDay thread)
2020cy: Go State. I may have been over-served last night. See you at tip top later this morning or today or tomorrow ... Oh, **** it.

From ***Official GameDay vs. Texas***
@dirtyninety: Have we found out if our officiating crew have accents like Lyndon Baines Johnson plotting assassinations?

@ISUAgronomist: WE WIN ON A FIELD GOAL. TIME FOR EVERYONE TO GET LAID!!!!!

From “Official ISU Bowl Predictions”
@Gunnerclone: Why all the masturbation over playing Notre Dame?
@IASTATE07: Why do you think?
Gunnerclone: Besides that it’s fun to masturbate? Can’t think of anything.

From “Staff Picks: Xavier Foster”
cyclones500: I'm going to state firmly, I have no sources whatsoever.
@cyclones12321: I have a source that confirmed this.

From “Weekly mailbag questions”
@BCClone: If you had to give up one body part to live, what body part would that be?
@VeloClone: Appendix and I already made that trade.

From “Weekly mailbag” (week of Nov. 17)
@coolerifyoudid asks: What are your qualifications for a guest answerer? Does your ideal candidate have to be:
a) interesting
b) funny
c) able to construct a coherent sentence
d) willing to trade sexual favors
e) all of the above
Pants: … D isn’t a requirement, because, honestly, I’ve seen a lot of you and what you look like and you’re well below me.

@cyrocksmypants: Would you rather be blind or be deaf?
@GTO: Good luck only being able to listen to porn!

From “Black Friday: What are you Buying?
@3TrueFans: I wish Ferrari would stop contacting me. I have only 7,000 miles on mine. Ugh, that's the worst, am I right, guys?

From “New Bracketology”
@CySmurf:
My thoughts are:
You’re a troll
But a bigger moron
Check back in February
Better yet, don’t
@Cy$: That doesn’t rhyme

From “Weekly mailbag” (week of Nov. 24)
@VegasCy: I went from member to active member … thank you, mailbox.
@BCClone: Congrats on your active member.

From “***GameDay Thread (ISU vs. U-M)***
@tim_redd: The lack of 3-point shooting is plainly evident…
@cyclone4L: Oh, they’re shootin’ ‘em…

From ***GameDay Thread (Alabama vs. ISU)***
@Dandy: ‘Bama trying to bring ‘Bama back into it.
@Dandy (later): I meant “refs.” I’ve been drinking.

@Cyched: What a titillating game.
@madguy30: Lactatingly bombastic.
 
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PART 2 of 2

From “Hawk Fan Reactions to XF Announcement”
@MLawrence: The Iowa marching band could teach the Iowa football offense a thing or two about barreling through the opposition.

From “It’s Grinding Week. Who You Got?” (started by @surly)
@2020cy: Umm, my wife?

From “Whar Rulzzz?”
@2020cy: Game thread?
@cyfanatic13: It’s Friday, Bro.
@CycloneRulzzz: JFC, this thread almost gave me a heart attack.

(Next day, from official GameDay thread)
2020cy: Go State. I may have been over-served last night. See you at tip top later this morning or today or tomorrow ... Oh, **** it.

From ***Official GameDay vs. Texas***
@dirtyninety: Have we found out if our officiating crew have accents like Lyndon Baines Johnson plotting assassinations?

@ISUAgronomist: WE WIN ON A FIELD GOAL. TIME FOR EVERYONE TO GET LAID!!!!!

From “Official ISU Bowl Predictions”
@Gunnerclone: Why all the masturbation over playing Notre Dame?
@IASTATE07: Why do you think?
Gunnerclone: Besides that it’s fun to masturbate? Can’t think of anything.

From “Staff Picks: Xavier Foster”
cyclones500: I'm going to state firmly, I have no sources whatsoever.
@cyclones12321: I have a source that confirmed this.

From “Weekly mailbag questions”
@BCClone: If you had to give up one body part to live, what body part would that be?
@VeloClone: Appendix and I already made that trade.

From “Weekly mailbag” (week of Nov. 17)
@coolerifyoudid asks: What are your qualifications for a guest answerer? Does your ideal candidate have to be:
a) interesting
b) funny
c) able to construct a coherent sentence
d) willing to trade sexual favors
e) all of the above
Pants: … D isn’t a requirement, because, honestly, I’ve seen a lot of you and what you look like and you’re well below me.

@cyrocksmypants: Would you rather be blind or be deaf?
@GTO: Good luck only being able to listen to porn!

From “Black Friday: What are you Buying?
@3TrueFans: I wish Ferrari would stop contacting me. I have only 7,000 miles on mine. Ugh, that's the worst, am I right, guys?

From “New Bracketology”
@CySmurf:
My thoughts are:
You’re a troll
But a bigger moron
Check back in February
Better yet, don’t
@Cy$: That doesn’t rhyme

From “Weekly mailbag” (week of Nov. 24)
@VegasCy: I went from member to active mailbag … thank you, mailbox.
@BCClone: Congrats on your active member.

From “***GameDay Thread (ISU vs. U-M)***
@tim_redd: The lack of 3-point shooting is plainly evident…
@cyclone4L: Oh, they’re shootin’ ‘em…

From ***GameDay Thread (Alabama vs. ISU)***
@Dandy: ‘Bama trying to bring ‘Bama back into it.
@Dandy (later): I meant “refs.” I’ve been drinking.

@Cyched: What a titillating game.
@madguy30: Lactatingly bombastic.

Very appropriate to include that post. It set my record for funny ratings for any of my posts and might be up there with most funny ratings for any post on here. :)
 
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