Fan Boundaries with Student Athletes

[OWLCITYCYFAN]

When I was first married, we lived in a western suburb of Chicago named Elmhurst and many Chicago Blackhawk players lived there as well. We would often see a young Jeremy Roenick and his defenseman roommate at a Greek breakfast restaurant named the Rainbow, which did brisk business. I never saw anyone approach Roenick, which is probably why he frequented the place - he could eat without being bothered.

Several months ago, a retirement age male board member related a story where he entered a small Ames bar to meet friends, saw a high profile female basketball player sitting alone at a table and approached her, "conversing for several minutes". He said she sat alone the entire time she was there, which he thought was "weird". The player was one of our first "unexpected" transfer portal losses.

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

It's a slow time of the ISU athletic year and I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I'm not talking about college-aged or young adults, rather mature adults ages 40 & over. Would you approach a female athlete sitting alone in a bar minding their own business? When is it permissible to approach a female student athlete in public? When is it permissible to approach any ISU student athlete in public?

 

[NWICY]

I just don't care, to each their own. Since you were buddy with the Joens's if I remember correctly you think you are the only one who can tallk to people.
The athletes are public figures now paid public figures, if someone thanks them for choosing ISU and wishes them well who cares. If you are in college you should be handle a adult public interaction.

But congrats on trying to stir up a non existent problem. And why should it matter if it is a male or female athlete? They are adults they can figure it out.

Be sure to list your guidelines so we don't break any of your precious self beliefs.

 

[CyGuy5]

They’re getting paid millions of dollars, I think they can probably handle a little bit of fan interaction

 

[FriendlySpartan]

When I was first married, we lived in a western suburb of Chicago named Elmhurst and many Chicago Blackhawk players lived there as well. We would often see a young Jeremy Roenick and his defenseman roommate at a Greek breakfast restaurant named the Rainbow, which did brisk business. I never saw anyone approach Roenick, which is probably why he frequented the place - he could eat without being bothered.

Several months ago, a retirement age male board member related a story where he entered a small Ames bar to meet friends, saw a high profile female basketball player sitting alone at a table and approached her, "conversing for several minutes". He said she sat alone the entire time she was there, which he thought was "weird". The player was one of our first "unexpected" transfer portal losses.

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

It's a slow time of the ISU athletic year and I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I'm not talking about college-aged or young adults, rather mature adults ages 40 & over. Would you approach a female athlete sitting alone in a bar minding their own business? When is it permissible to approach a female student athlete in public? When is it permissible to approach any ISU student athlete in public?

30 years ago and a hockey player (helmeted sport) that many wouldn’t recognize anyways let alone in an era without smart phones is a wild comparison to make to an athlete in 2026 in a college town but go off

Like any interaction with people there are right and wrong ways to do it. Going up and saying “hi so sorry to interrupt but I’m a huge fan went to ISU (insert x years ago) and just wanted to say that I think the team is doing amazing etc” is totally fine in most settings. If the athlete responds well and continues a conversation then fine hang out a min or two but that’s kinda the end of the interaction unless it’s obvious there is something to talk about that instigated by the athlete.

Keep it like that and your are fine, trying to chat with them longer because they are alone or because you feel they owe you something is wrong and if they clearly don’t want to be bothered just take it as it is and walk away without getting defensive or making a big deal out of it.

Age really doesn’t make that big of a difference, it’s just about how the person handles themselves

 

[Clonefan94]

When I was first married, we lived in a western suburb of Chicago named Elmhurst and many Chicago Blackhawk players lived there as well. We would often see a young Jeremy Roenick and his defenseman roommate at a Greek breakfast restaurant named the Rainbow, which did brisk business. I never saw anyone approach Roenick, which is probably why he frequented the place - he could eat without being bothered.

Several months ago, a retirement age male board member related a story where he entered a small Ames bar to meet friends, saw a high profile female basketball player sitting alone at a table and approached her, "conversing for several minutes". He said she sat alone the entire time she was there, which he thought was "weird". The player was one of our first "unexpected" transfer portal losses.

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

It's a slow time of the ISU athletic year and I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I'm not talking about college-aged or young adults, rather mature adults ages 40 & over. Would you approach a female athlete sitting alone in a bar minding their own business? When is it permissible to approach a female student athlete in public? When is it permissible to approach any ISU student athlete in public?

You serious Clark?

 

[NorthCyd]

As long as there are no weird sexual advances or anything like that what is the problem? It's a bar. A place where people go to be social. If you don't want to talk to people and be left alone don't go to a bar.

 

[bozclone]

If I was by myself, I wouldn’t approach the athlete. If my wife was with me, I might but more than likely I wouldn’t.

 

[CyCrazy]

Open letter season is upon us.

 

[Cyclonepride]

I might say something quick in appreciation, like "thank you for being a Cyclone", but I find it awkward to invade their personal time or put any special value on a celebrity encounter for that matter.

 

[4cy16]

Dear Penthouse forum.............

 

[pourcyne]

JFC.

No woman, or man, for that matter, is your property, no matter how much s/he's been paid or for what.

And not anywhere where s/he just happens to be.

 

[KnappShack]

Leave people alone.

If you just have to do something then maybe a head nod on the way out, but leave people alone.

Athletes. Celebrities. Strangers.

Leave people alone.

 

[CyCoug]

I once walked into a restaurant and a famous NBA coach was seated with his wife and another couple. I was taken aback and we made eye contact. I could see him stiffen a bit, undoubtedly assuming I was going to walk up and start engaging.

Well I took it a step further I pulled up a chair and asked if I could join them. He was so surprised, he thanked me for stopping for a meaningful engagement and said he appreciated that so much more than the typical “hit and run” he usually got.

Just kidding, I just kept going. It would have been wildly inappropriate to interrupt thier dinner.

 

[cycloner29]

If the guy wanted to get a selfie with her, then it is creepy.

 

[ZorkClone]

Leave people alone.

If you just have to do something then maybe a head nod on the way out, but leave people alone.

Athletes. Celebrities. Strangers.

Leave people alone.

I am generally of this attitude, but I feel like this plays into the growing epidemic of loneliness.

Of all places a bar is a social scene, if you can't talk to strangers there you are basically saying that you can't talk any stranger at any time. That doesn't mean you should continue talking to someone if they are signaling they aren't interested in talking to you, but getting approached is part of going to a bar.

Also, it's important to note here for people that don't frequent the WBB forum that OP has a beef with the "Retirement age man in question".

 

[isufbcurt]

An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation.

Hell yes I would!

 

[Bestaluckcy]

What piques my interest is where some start their comment by saying “now they are getting paid so….”. Do you feel the same entitlement towards a high ranking corporate executive, or a politician? What are you saying? Why does an athlete now making compensation for efforts they provide, make it any different than another laborer?

 

[CyGuy5]

What piques my interest is where some start their comment by saying “now they are getting paid so….”. Do you feel the same entitlement towards a high ranking corporate executive, or a politician? What are you saying? Why does an athlete now making compensation for efforts they provide, make it any different than another laborer?

Because it’s no different than a professional athlete or someone else that’s “famous” for lack of a better term. It’s part of the job.

 

[3TrueFans]

I think the main problem is people are ******* weird, but they don't recognize how weird they are.

 

[Bipolarcy]

When I was first married, we lived in a western suburb of Chicago named Elmhurst and many Chicago Blackhawk players lived there as well. We would often see a young Jeremy Roenick and his defenseman roommate at a Greek breakfast restaurant named the Rainbow, which did brisk business. I never saw anyone approach Roenick, which is probably why he frequented the place - he could eat without being bothered.

Several months ago, a retirement age male board member related a story where he entered a small Ames bar to meet friends, saw a high profile female basketball player sitting alone at a table and approached her, "conversing for several minutes". He said she sat alone the entire time she was there, which he thought was "weird". The player was one of our first "unexpected" transfer portal losses.

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

It's a slow time of the ISU athletic year and I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I'm not talking about college-aged or young adults, rather mature adults ages 40 & over. Would you approach a female athlete sitting alone in a bar minding their own business? When is it permissible to approach a female student athlete in public? When is it permissible to approach any ISU student athlete in public?

I agree with you. Leave them alone. The guys who are so vehemently against you in this thread must be the creepers you're talking about.

I once approached Mike Williams, he of the Williams and Wingender WW Express fame at a golf course in rural nowhere Iowa, the last place you'd expect to see an Iowa State football player. How I recognized him in a pre-internet era, where the only possible way to see what he looked like was in a blurry newspaper photo, I'll never know.

I asked him what he was doing in the middle of bumfuk Iowa (the closest town was probably 10 miles away or farther). He was there for some kind of promotion, not sure what after all these years.

But I would argue this is a different scenario than what you painted above. This is a single, muscular guy, standing, not sitting, all by himself in a golf clubhouse looking around like he was looking for someone.