Online dating experience/advice

[Cyched]

Have only tried bumble and hinge. Bumble was fine, but got tired of not being able to say anything first.

Quality of matches and dates has been a lot better on hinge.

Good luck

 

[cyfan92]

Mrs cyfan wouldn't let me go to Colorado for a guys weekend. Highest bidder can have my blessing to take her on a date

 

[cstrunk]

This made me laugh. How can one person be so informed on all of the dating apps? You must go fishing A LOT.

Well, when love isn't real, you'll have a lot a chances to cast your bait.

 

[Peter]

Reviving this thread as I'm newly single. I was in a relatively great relationship for three years, but for some reason I continued feeling smothered. Everything about the woman was great, and she deserves great things. While I had broken up in late February I had tried to revive being friends with her, but last night that all came to an end as she said that I keep rejecting her over and over. So to stop that I stated emphatically that we are over, and she's since blocked me on every app there is: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, phone, etc. And so now the rebuilding truly starts. I hadn't attempted to connect with anyone since the initial breakup.

I don't really even know where to start. My dating record over a 4 month period prior to this woman was comical, including one woman going to jail for assault after her adult female roommate pulled a gun on her over a dispute about a radio being too loud. I thought I was going to be shot breaking up that fight.

I don't have any single friends. And in my new career I work from home full time which will continue even once the pandemic is deemed "over". I simply don't know what to do or where to start. Worse yet, I'm already feeling the pull to just go back to "claim" the ex-girlfriend, which is what she wants. But I think that's simply due to a want of companionship.

Might be time for a dating-coach or a life-coach. Strange times. Anybody else been through this?

Only had hookups and short-term flings when I used the apps, which after a long relationship was highly necessary. Meeting the right person is entirely up to chance so don't get frustrated, just go with the flow. I met the love of my life smoking a joint behind a bar on the east side of Madison so you never know when the lighting will strike.

 

[cyhiphopp]

Well, when love isn't real, you'll have a lot a chances to cast your bait.

You must be a master baiter by now.

 

[Cyched]

Mrs cyfan wouldn't let me go to Colorado for a guys weekend. Highest bidder can have my blessing to take her on a date

Tree fiddy

 

[BuffettClone]

Tree fiddy

Buying his blessing doesn't mean you automatically get hers.

 

[cyclonespiker33]

If you want to start a relationship on a free app, Bumble and Hinge will give you the best chance of doing so.

 

[NickTheGreat]

I think I'm going to buy my wife flowers today. This thread does not sound fun

 

[Cyinthenorth]

The ****? All my close friends are in the same age bracket and only one is married.

Love isn't real.

Maybe that's what he is finding out. I told him it's not so much a feeling as it is a decision. Obviously you have criteria specific to yourself that you look for in a significant other, but there is no light bulb moment or love at first sight IMO. Marriage is a conscious decision you make after taking the time to get to know someone and can see yourself living with them, starting a family with them etc.

He is a guy that has always lived alone. I think he might just be too set in his ways by now.

 

[cyhiphopp]

Reviving this thread as I'm newly single. I was in a relatively great relationship for three years, but for some reason I continued feeling smothered. Everything about the woman was great, and she deserves great things. While I had broken up in late February I had tried to revive being friends with her, but last night that all came to an end as she said that I keep rejecting her over and over. So to stop that I stated emphatically that we are over, and she's since blocked me on every app there is: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, phone, etc. And so now the rebuilding truly starts. I hadn't attempted to connect with anyone since the initial breakup.

I don't really even know where to start. My dating record over a 4 month period prior to this woman was comical, including one woman going to jail for assault after her adult female roommate pulled a gun on her over a dispute about a radio being too loud. I thought I was going to be shot breaking up that fight.

I don't have any single friends. And in my new career I work from home full time which will continue even once the pandemic is deemed "over". I simply don't know what to do or where to start. Worse yet, I'm already feeling the pull to just go back to "claim" the ex-girlfriend, which is what she wants. But I think that's simply due to a want of companionship.

Might be time for a dating-coach or a life-coach. Strange times. Anybody else been through this?

Get a dog. Women are the worst

We've got a post of the month for May now. It's over. Go home.

 

[cyhiphopp]

Reviving this thread as I'm newly single. I was in a relatively great relationship for three years, but for some reason I continued feeling smothered. Everything about the woman was great, and she deserves great things. While I had broken up in late February I had tried to revive being friends with her, but last night that all came to an end as she said that I keep rejecting her over and over. So to stop that I stated emphatically that we are over, and she's since blocked me on every app there is: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, phone, etc. And so now the rebuilding truly starts. I hadn't attempted to connect with anyone since the initial breakup.

I don't really even know where to start. My dating record over a 4 month period prior to this woman was comical, including one woman going to jail for assault after her adult female roommate pulled a gun on her over a dispute about a radio being too loud. I thought I was going to be shot breaking up that fight.

I don't have any single friends. And in my new career I work from home full time which will continue even once the pandemic is deemed "over". I simply don't know what to do or where to start. Worse yet, I'm already feeling the pull to just go back to "claim" the ex-girlfriend, which is what she wants. But I think that's simply due to a want of companionship.

Might be time for a dating-coach or a life-coach. Strange times. Anybody else been through this?

Ok, so I've been there.
I got married in 2004 to my college sweetheart. Married 8 years with two kids and everything went to crap. Long story short, I was officially single in 2013. I gave it about 8 months before I really started to "try" dating.
Pretty much all of my friends are married, most with kids, so it was rough like you're saying. I had one friend whose girlfriend (now wife) hooked me up with a friend. She was a hawk fan so that didn't help, but we only had two dates before it was over. She didn't really think she wanted to be with a guy with kids. I get it, but she knew that when we met.
So I doubled down on dating apps. I didn't like Tinder because it's really superficial and like others have said for hookups.
I tried a few actual dating apps with mixed results.
One girl told me, full disclosure, that she was a recovering meth addict. More power to her, but I had a hard time relating.
Another girl was really nice, and cute, but she was super slow playing it. Like holding hands only and I finally gave her a peck on the third date. I just didn't feel like she was into it so that ended.
Finally I met the woman who is now my wife. Our 6th wedding anniversary this June.

Moral of the story is it's a volume game. You're going to have to talk to a bunch of girls, date a few possible bad matches, but keep going.
I personally knew that I wasn't going to go to a bar and pick up a stranger, though I tried a few times.

 

[CYCLNST8]

Women want a guy who's a good listener, emotionally available, blah blah blah...

BULL****.

1) Look good without a shirt on (remember to shave your back).
2) Be at least 6 feet tall.
3) Flaunt your wealth. Wear expensive clothes. Drive an expensive vehicle.
4) Get a cute dog to take for walks in the park/on the beach (AKA fishing).

Or yeah, pay someone to pretend to like you. Women are just as shallow. Good luck.

 

[Cyched]

Buying his blessing doesn't mean you automatically get hers.

Not even for a free dinner? She doesn't have to like me

 

[EvilBetty]

So I have a pretty unique life, I travel about 10 months of the year, performing jobs for a general contractor out of Dayton, Ohio. I still have a place in Iowa where I keep my crap and when I'm lucky enough sleep on my amazing bed that I never get to use.

I ended a 5 year relationship last November, and I feel like I'm ready to try and get back on the dating wagon, but I've always been inept at dating and add in my life style obstacles and I think you see my dilemma.

Anyone have experience or advice on how to best date in this crazy world? I really don't think Tinder is going to find me a soul mate, though I'm not against causal dating. eHarmony, Match.com, etc; anyone have a recommendation or a single 30 something looking for someone who makes great money and is an ever faithful old fashioned romantic?

Doesn't need to be a stuffy thread, I expect some shade to be thrown my way.

Edit: I'm a dude.

Be prepared for your matches to show a reasonable amount of interest and then vanish, Never to reply or be heard from again. It's called ghosting. Get used to it now. People aren't people anymore.

 

[SCNCY]

I was active on online dating from 2010 to 2016. One thing I will say that others haven’t is that you’ll probably send a lot of messages to women and not get a response back. I couldn’t tell you how often I’d spend the time reading the women’s profile, writing a custom message based on that profile, just to hear crickets.

With that said, I did meet my wife on online dating. We meet on Coffee Meets Bagel. This site shows you a profile and only opens a a chat if you both like each others profile. So it cuts out the waste of time that I had to go through in my first paragraph.

 

[madguy30]

Reviving this thread as I'm newly single. I was in a relatively great relationship for three years, but for some reason I continued feeling smothered. Everything about the woman was great, and she deserves great things. While I had broken up in late February I had tried to revive being friends with her, but last night that all came to an end as she said that I keep rejecting her over and over. So to stop that I stated emphatically that we are over, and she's since blocked me on every app there is: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, phone, etc. And so now the rebuilding truly starts. I hadn't attempted to connect with anyone since the initial breakup.

I don't really even know where to start. My dating record over a 4 month period prior to this woman was comical, including one woman going to jail for assault after her adult female roommate pulled a gun on her over a dispute about a radio being too loud. I thought I was going to be shot breaking up that fight.

I don't have any single friends. And in my new career I work from home full time which will continue even once the pandemic is deemed "over". I simply don't know what to do or where to start. Worse yet, I'm already feeling the pull to just go back to "claim" the ex-girlfriend, which is what she wants. But I think that's simply due to a want of companionship.

Might be time for a dating-coach or a life-coach. Strange times. Anybody else been through this?

No idea how you operate but I'm a big believer that real, true time to the self brings about the most clarity on all sorts of things.

Travel, hobbies, learn new stuff, do the (healthy) things you enjoy. And don't be afraid to do them alone.

(humble brag) I found myself to seem more appealing when I got in a 'mode' of what I call true independence and was kind of a desperate disaster if I tried online stuff.

 

[GoldCy]

So I have a pretty unique life, I travel about 10 months of the year, performing jobs for a general contractor out of Dayton, Ohio. I still have a place in Iowa where I keep my crap and when I'm lucky enough sleep on my amazing bed that I never get to use.

I ended a 5 year relationship last November, and I feel like I'm ready to try and get back on the dating wagon, but I've always been inept at dating and add in my life style obstacles and I think you see my dilemma.

Anyone have experience or advice on how to best date in this crazy world? I really don't think Tinder is going to find me a soul mate, though I'm not against causal dating. eHarmony, Match.com, etc; anyone have a recommendation or a single 30 something looking for someone who makes great money and is an ever faithful old fashioned romantic?

Doesn't need to be a stuffy thread, I expect some shade to be thrown my way.

Edit: I'm a dude.

Maybe Ashley Madison would fit your life style.

 

[BWRhasnoAC]

Maybe Ashley Madison would fit your life style.

I actually got off the road but thank you for the advice.

No idea how you operate but I'm a big believer that real, true time to the self brings about the most clarity on all sorts of things.

Travel, hobbies, learn new stuff, do the (healthy) things you enjoy. And don't be afraid to do them alone.

(humble brag) I found myself to seem more appealing when I got in a 'mode' of what I call true independence and was kind of a desperate disaster if I tried online stuff.

There's a lot to be said for what you're getting at. Basically if you want someone desirable you need to be someone desirable and someone who is self-sufficient and not needy or overly emotionally attached is far more appealing to someone.

Problem is for the younger generations it's more like shopping for clothes. Women really enjoy social media a la Facebook, Twitter, tick tock, etc.
It's a bit contrived for my tastes but it's the world we live in. Shopping for your mate online seems to be women's dream come true. Would love a woman's perspective on this though.
@cowgirl836 I respect a lot when it comes to these kind of questions.

 

[Daserop]

Just following up on my previous post. If anyone would to ask more questions, but are too afraid/shy/ whatever just pm me. I'd be happy to help. I knew I wish I had someone to ask questions too when I had to get back into the dating life.