The Daily Effing Grind

[BikeSkiClone]

I go to therapy. Currently going 1-2 times a week.

It's saved my personal relationships; I have better control of my emotions, words, and thoughts and also am no longer dumping issues on friends that they are not trained to provide emotional or functional support for. Nor should they have to carry those weights. I do have 3 people in my life I can tell absolutely anything to, but they're people who have walked similar paths and/or *do* have training/education in therapies and are willing to give guidance (but not therapy in order to maintain boundaries).

It's great being able to vent, rant, cry, etc with someone who can 1.) just listen, 2.) you don't have to worry that they'll tell your entire social circle, 3.) provide suggestions and evidence-based strategies to alter a way of thinking to improve your own mental and physical health, 4.) put you in your place, when needed (and sometimes a harsh reality check or pushback is exactly what someone needs), 5.) a whole lot more.... and 6.) profit (ok that only really benefits them, but worth it IMO)

And like a lot of others said here....I try to exercise regularly, and read books.

 

[BCClone]

I’m married I kept going through phases of unhappiness.

That’s normal.

 

[Statefan10]

That’s normal.

That’s not what I said none of my unhappiness stems from my wife lol

 

[cowgirl836]

This could be a problem of burn out.

If you think about, the typical work week breaks down to something like this

8 hours of sleep
9 hours of work (assume one hour for lunch)
1 hour of getting ready in the morning
1 hour of commuting to work (assume 30 minutes one way)
1 hour of making dinner and eating
1 hour of chores

That right there comes up to 21 hours, leaving only three hours a day for personal time. If, you include your overtime to that, you've eaten up your three hours left to yourself.

My first job, out of college, I worked a lot of overtime. From there on out, I focused on jobs that provided more time to myself and less to the company. My goal is to make the most amount of money in the shortest time possible. And for the most part, I have accomplished that. I am currently in a job where my salary is the highest, and I strictly work 40 hours a week. This may get even better as we may be moving to a mixed WFH and in office schedule in the future, allowing me to spend some time doing chores during my work day.

With a 10 month old, no way they're getting 3 hrs of personal time then. I personally found that age very trying with work and trying to have a life. And that was pre pandemic.

 

[BCClone]

That’s not what I said none of my unhappiness stems from my wife lol

She must be on here?

 

[alarson]

It wasn't until I stopped drinking consistently that I realized I actually feel depressed the day after.

Was more anxiety the day after for me.

I cut back a ton (to almost nothing) during the last year, now just sparingly.

 

[madguy30]

Was more anxiety the day after for me.

I cut back a ton (to almost nothing) during the last year, now just sparingly.

I had cut back for a few years anyway but definitely over the last year I just knew I'd be more sedentary no matter what so I knew drinking would be the wrong avenue.

 

[Yellow Snow]

I play guitar and try to put my thoughts into writing music. Without directly saying it with lyrics or anything.

That helps me when I'm feeling something... good or bad.

 

[BCClone]

I had cut back for a few years anyway but definitely over the last year I just knew I'd be more sedentary no matter what so I knew drinking would be the wrong avenue.

I sorta quit when my kids were born. I didn’t want them to think drinking was the only way to have fun. Plus, BIL had his 3 year old get him a beer once. Kid gave it to him and said, all you drink is bud light. BIL did and does drink a lot, that kid grew up and gets drunk non stop like his dad did.

Also, while I may have fun that night, I lost the next day due to hangovers. I’m too busy for hangovers, another benefit to rarely drinking. When I do, it’s 1-2 tops.

 

[SCNCY]

With a 10 month old, no way they're getting 3 hrs of personal time then. I personally found that age very trying with work and trying to have a life. And that was pre pandemic.

True, I was thinking something more along my schedule, but I don’t have kids yet. Nonetheless, it just shows how much little time we have to ourselves due to work.

 

[Dandy]

A lot has likely been covered by now but...

Exercise, even if it’s only twenty minutes.
Sleep, for the energy to be active.
Eat clean, to avoid the drag bad foods bring.
Avoid toxic situations like politics/media.
Get outside, for the vitamins.

 

[madguy30]

A lot has likely been covered by now but...

Exercise, even if it’s only twenty minutes.
Sleep, for the energy to be active.
Eat clean, to avoid the drag bad foods bring.
Avoid toxic situations like politics/media.
Get outside, for the vitamins.

Bolded: also avoid toxic people.

Looking back I really tolerated some people whose main purpose for any night out is to make it a scene for everyone else and it's so much better to just not even bother.

 

[Gunnerclone]

The only thing I’ve really taken from this thread is that so many people need to be using cannabis.

 

[CycloneDaddy]

The only thing I’ve really taken from this thread is that so many people need to be using cannabis.

Just popped a Delta 8 ... I will be in a deep sleep by 10pm and sleep like a baby.

 

[BWRhasnoAC]

I play guitar and try to put my thoughts into writing music. Without directly saying it with lyrics or anything.

That helps me when I'm feeling something... good or bad.

I do the same but I have a band and typically they like the songs that are sometimes too personal for me to share. Gotta know how much to give away to this world.

 

[tim_redd]

Bolded: also avoid toxic people.

Looking back I really tolerated some people whose main purpose for any night out is to make it a scene for everyone else and it's so much better to just not even bother.

Also avoid toxic relatives/family members. Why choose to be around people that are insufferable just because you have some common ancestry.

 

[FallOf81]

Sex is great therapy if you have a willing partner.

Going for a slow drive to nowhere is also a blast. If you haven't been to Ames to see the performance center. Go drive there. It'll blow your mind how big it is

Having sex on a slow drive is even better.

 

[Dandy]

I recently decided to quit drinking - at least for the time being. I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but more times than not I just feel crappy mentally the day after.

I’m just short of a month sober, minus the one beer I had when we went out to eat the other night. I’m not alcohol dependent but I’d definitely over-do it on weekends.

Had a second kid, used it as motivation. Never felt better. No hangovers. Lost a surprising amount of bloat to my belly too.

I went three weeks with no alcohol but my wife wanted a beer so had one with her. Broke the streak but back into it now.

 

[Cychl82]

Thanks everyone! Just seeing all this input helped me. This board on good days helps me with the grind. Hope everyone is well. Cant wait for the upcoming football season.

 

[Dandy]

It wasn't until I stopped drinking consistently that I realized I actually feel depressed the day after.

I always wanted to just nap the days away after a night of drinking. Hella unproductive.