On That Note: Busted Rhymes

[MuskieCy]

"What can I do? / Honey, I feel like the color blue"


"You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute / I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot"


"The wild dogs cry out in the night, as they grow restless longing for some solitary company / I know that I must do what's right, as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti"


"I laughed at all of your jokes / My love you didn't need to coax" (Rod Stewart's "Maggie May,"

This is a bit sad.

"He starts to shake, he starts to cough / Just like the old man in that famous book by Nabokov"

 

[MeanDean]

I am"... I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair

Um, Chairs don't have ears. So of course they don't hear Neil.

 

[HFCS]

The one that spurred the discussion was Miley Cyrus:

This is all so crazy,
Everybody seems so famous.

I swear she's trying to make that rhyme.

 

[BoxsterCy]

This may not be "bad" per the rules since it is all in fun but it popped into my head.

Anyone want to do Chuck?

 

[Althetuna]

Ten Years After: I'd Love To Change The World.

Life is funny, skies are sunny
Bees make honey, who needs money, Monopoly

Bees make honey? Not only does this song entertain, it informs as well.

I like the tune but that whole verse...geesh.

(I'll gloss over the fact that the rhymes in the first verse could very easily be inferred to mean gays and lesbians suffer from mental illness.)

 

[Althetuna]

STP: Dead and Bloated

Deathbed doesn't really rhyme with bloated. Plus WTF does any of this mean?

I am smellin' like the rose
that somebody gave me on
my birthday deathbed
I am smellin' like the rose
that somebody gave me
'cause I'm dead & bloated

 

[cyclones500]

S***, almost forgot about this non-rhyme repeat.

Everybody’s rappin' like it’s a commercial
Actin’ like life is a big commercial

And a bonus "rhyme" (although it works OK in context)
'Cause I'm a turn it in and I'm a turn it out
But now I've got to pass the mic to Yauch

 

[SCyclone]

Perhaps this was intentional, but here's a song where some of the lines are in rhyme, but most of them certainly aren't:
"Stairway To Heaven"

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

Considering it's Led Zep, and also taking into account the song's subject, maybe I'm way off base here. But this has to be the wildest set of lyrics ever.

 

[madguy30]

Take your pick

Johnny's in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I'm on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But you're doing it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend
A man in the coonskin cap, in the pig pen
Wants eleven dollar bills, you only got ten

Maggie comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Plants in the bed but
The phone's tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D.A. Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don't tie no bows
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows

Oh, get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Hang bail, hard to tell
If anything is goin' to sell
Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But losers, cheaters
Six-time users
Hang around the theaters
Girl by the whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow leaders, watch the parkin' meters

Oh, get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance
Learn to dance, get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't want to be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles

 

[flynnhicks03]

At the end of "Illegal Smile", John Prine (RIP) has some goofy lyrics that really bother me. I think he did it to be funny, but maybe it just hasn't aged well. Sounds pretty forced.

"No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun"

 

[CtownCyclone]

To piggyback on Weird Al and rhyming, I read a profile on him a few months back.
From the article:

After 10 minutes of staring at this verbal barbed wire, my brain felt as if it were starting to cramp. I told him I didn’t know how much longer I could take it. “We’re not even halfway through,” Yankovic said. We had yet to reach, for instance, his encyclopedic lists of possible rhymes, all categorized by syllable count, running on for page after page like Homer’s list of ships in the “Iliad”: “Polar bear/Voltaire,” “my back is peeling/Darjeeling.” At one point, he lined up 35 potential rhymes for the word “geek.”

It's quite the read, if you've got some time. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/09/magazine/weird-al-yankovic.html

 

[madguy30]

At the end of "Illegal Smile", John Prine (RIP) has some goofy lyrics that really bother me. I think he did it to be funny, but maybe it just hasn't aged well. Sounds pretty forced.

"No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun"

I've always thought it was goofy too but I think it's also the narrator/character in the story just displaying their looniness more.

 

[MeanDean]

I know this is a bit, but seemed appropriate.

In the same vein, sort of

 

[flynnhicks03]

I've always thought it was goofy too but I think it's also the narrator/character in the story just displaying their looniness more.

Could be. It seemed there was more to it than bad rhyming, like I thought maybe it was a pop culture joke from the time or something. Either way, it's probably more a case of "not aged well" than bad lyrics.

 

[Buster28]

Coal Miner's Daughter by Loretta Lynn (or Sissy Spacek in the movie). There is a line that always makes me cringe when I hear it:

The work we done was hard, at night we'd sleep 'cause we were tired.

She bends "tired" to sound like "hard" and it ends up sounding like "taard." I know some of that is just the Kentucky hill country accent, but still. Eeek.

 

[srjclone]

Ohhh, so many slant rhymes in rap. First one that came to mind was Childish Gambino - Freaks & Geeks (back when he was still doing somewhat satirical rap)

*NSFW - Language*



Down with the black girls of every single culture,
Filipino, Armenian girls on my sofa
--
I got some p**sy that was insane,
so insane its an enemy of batman (bat-mane)

 

[srjclone]

Anything on Wale's discography

 

[CYdTracked]

How about trying to rhyme using the same word in the very next lyric?

Yea right picture that with a Kodak/ And better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak

 

[Gonzo]

I actually think off-rhyme/near-rhyme is a lost art and, when done well, signals to me the work of a very good writer/lyricist/poet. One example pointed out earlier is Dylan with "pavement" and "government".

Back to the original point. This one, written by Van Morrison but made famous by Rod Stewart, has always bugged me:

"Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness"

"Gladness"? Really?

 

[VeloClone]

Perhaps this was intentional, but here's a song where some of the lines are in rhyme, but most of them certainly aren't:
"Stairway To Heaven"

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

Considering it's Led Zep, and also taking into account the song's subject, maybe I'm way off base here. But this has to be the wildest set of lyrics ever.

Apparently that was a tune that Page had been kicking around for some time. They were in the recording studio and needed another song so Jimmy pulled the tune out of his head and played it. Plant walked away and came back with the lyrics that he had written in just a few minutes. They then proceeded to record it.

Considering that it was something that Robert wrote on the proverbial napkin in a matter of minutes I'll cut him a little slack.