Teams
Forum List
Toggle sidebar

Random Thoughts IV

Status
Not open for further replies.
NWICY said:
Maybe they got you something nice. I understand you not getting along with your grandparents. But you have never explained your disdain for DH's parents. It's great to be independent but I really doubt that they wake up every day thinking how can we **** CG off. By the way good luck on the move, hope it goes well.
Click to expand...


I don't hate them, they just get overbearing. MIL has said some unkind things about me/to me in the past so I'm not super comfortable having them around. I'm just frustrated. They want to come up - we suggest a weekend that works better for us and they bully their way into the weekend they want. We offer up a specific item they can get as a gift, they get us things we asked they not get instead. We state a time that works to come up for moving, I find out they plan to be here far earlier than that. I just wish that the would understand when we say x, we really mean x. We don't secretly mean y and will like y better.
 
VikesFan5 said:
What's the most ice cream you've eaten in one sitting? I hardly ever buy it because I love it too much and would weigh 300 pounds but I eat straight out of the 1.75 quart containers. The most I've eaten is just a pint but I know I could down this whole thing.
Click to expand...

About a quarter of a gallon (half a half) of rocky road, during a drunken game of backgammon during college, commiserating boyfriends who just dumped a friend of mine and me on the same day. Playing Steve Miller band repetitively during this. And most of the ice cream went in reverse after the rum.
 
carvers4math said:
Yea, hard to tell without knowing them. I would guess they didn't want to offend by not getting a house warming gift, but hard cold cash probably what CG would prefer. There is sort of a generational gap on events like this. We all wanted to give our nieces bridal showers and that was fine but anymore brides don't care about a bridal shower, just the bachelorette party. I know I was upset that no one in my husband's family got us any housewarming gift, but they are just weird. I guess I was always taught that relatives and close friends should always bring a housewarming gift.
Click to expand...


DH actually said a specific thing that he knew he wanted, and I think they got that as well. but then it sounds like they went and got things we specifically said "please don't, we don't know what type of x we want yet". I don't know if all parents are like that or what. I know that my parents are too far to the hands off side, but I know if I told my mom "please don't do that", she wouldn't. But she also had awful in-laws and I think really tiptoes around that kind of stuff. I'm very thankful for their help and of course I'd prefer they want to be involved vs. not at all, but I don't know how I can kindly say "sometimes your attempts to be helpful can be a burden instead."

To go back to an old topic of 00's, I'm pretty sure MIL's love language would be gifts. So knowing that helps me a bit.

A bit, ha.
 
cowgirl836 said:
I don't hate them, they just get overbearing. MIL has said some unkind things about me/to me in the past so I'm not super comfortable having them around. I'm just frustrated. They want to come up - we suggest a weekend that works better for us and they bully their way into the weekend they want. We offer up a specific item they can get as a gift, they get us things we asked they not get instead. We state a time that works to come up for moving, I find out they plan to be here far earlier than that. I just wish that the would understand when we say x, we really mean x. We don't secretly mean y and will like y better.
Click to expand...


I'm going to back CG up on this. This is exactly the kind of stuff my family would be prone to doing, had I not stomped on it. It's passive aggressive controlling. I'll ask you what you want to seem to care, but then do what I was planning on doing anyway. It's also a person who is extremely selfish, but wants to appear not so.
 
00clone said:
I'm going to back CG up on this. This is exactly the kind of stuff my family would be prone to doing, had I not stomped on it. It's passive aggressive controlling. I'll ask you what you want to seem to care, but then do what I was planning on doing anyway. It's also a person who is extremely selfish, but wants to appear not so.
Click to expand...

In other words, a-holes!
 
00clone said:
I'm going to back CG up on this. This is exactly the kind of stuff my family would be prone to doing, had I not stomped on it. It's passive aggressive controlling. I'll ask you what you want to seem to care, but then do what I was planning on doing anyway. It's also a person who is extremely selfish, but wants to appear not so.
Click to expand...


and maybe I'm naive, but I don't think my in-laws do this out of a bad place. I think they truly believe going .....above and beyond........is what we want. I think DH's brothers are more ok with it so we are kind of the odd ones out. They like giving and doing things for people which is great. But sometimes doing more than what someone asked for isn't better. More is not always better.
 
cowgirl836 said:
and maybe I'm naive, but I don't think my in-laws do this out of a bad place. I think they truly believe going .....above and beyond........is what we want. I think DH's brothers are more ok with it so we are kind of the odd ones out. They like giving and doing things for people which is great. But sometimes doing more than what someone asked for isn't better. More is not always better.
Click to expand...


The more that they're giving...is not respecting boundaries/wishes. And yeah, I don't wish to pound on them, but it's still not okay.
 
00clone said:
I'm going to back CG up on this. This is exactly the kind of stuff my family would be prone to doing, had I not stomped on it. It's passive aggressive controlling. I'll ask you what you want to seem to care, but then do what I was planning on doing anyway. It's also a person who is extremely selfish, but wants to appear not so.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't call my in-laws passive aggressive -- maybe just aggressive. And mean. And evil.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Help Support Us

Become a patron
Top Bottom