I agree with that. I'm single, but know I want to have kids so we are completely different but I agree with the fact that there are a lot of people having kids who shouldn't be.
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- Thread starter Mtowncyclone13
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I agree with that. I'm single, but know I want to have kids so we are completely different but I agree with the fact that there are a lot of people having kids who shouldn't be.
O by the way there is quilting fanatic, but it's not really a website since, you know, it's technology. It is however, a group of old women that gather together in a church basement.
I should visually document what my 4 year old girl can do to a toilet. I'm on my 3rd plunger.
These are the important things that shows in you are ready to be a parent or not. If you are not willing to talk about feces openly, you are not ready to be a parent.
After dealing with a sick 18 month old I have mixed feelings about this.
On one hand, having a kid puke on you or cleaning a runny diaper is not fun.
On the other hand, having that kid climbing in your lap for comfort is one of the most gratifying and heart wrenching experiences you will ever have. If you wish to feel something other than your own wants and desires than you should have kids. If not, please don't have any.
On one hand, having a kid puke on you or cleaning a runny diaper is not fun.
On the other hand, having that kid climbing in your lap for comfort is one of the most gratifying and heart wrenching experiences you will ever have. If you wish to feel something other than your own wants and desires than you should have kids. If not, please don't have any.
I can respect people who decide kids are not for them. I cannot tolerate ones, however, that feel they should still give me parenting advice.
My hopeless brother-in-law and his ex-wife were always trying to tell us what to do with our kids. However, they themselves were eternal adolescents who just kept going to college for years, playing the same video games as my kids and abusing multiple substances. Even though they wanted no kids of their own, they kept asking if my kids could come stay for the weekend and I always found an excuse to say no. Once, my youngest told me that if they ever had to stay with this aunt and uncle, at least his brother, who was 16 at the time, could be the adult.
Hard to explain the bond to your children, but I would do absolutely anything for them and have never been more proud of anything I have done more than raising them.
My hopeless brother-in-law and his ex-wife were always trying to tell us what to do with our kids. However, they themselves were eternal adolescents who just kept going to college for years, playing the same video games as my kids and abusing multiple substances. Even though they wanted no kids of their own, they kept asking if my kids could come stay for the weekend and I always found an excuse to say no. Once, my youngest told me that if they ever had to stay with this aunt and uncle, at least his brother, who was 16 at the time, could be the adult.
Hard to explain the bond to your children, but I would do absolutely anything for them and have never been more proud of anything I have done more than raising them.
My friends are starting to have kids. Almost all of the conversations go like this:
Bad things, bad things, bad things, but they are worth it.
They aren't doing a good job convincing me. Best I can tell the worth it part amounts to a few mins a day. Threads like this parents get all worked up and throw out nothing but the good things (which I can understand), but in real life if you don't bring up kids and just let them go it's all bad stuff. I think parents need to work on their sales pitch. Either that or since I don't have kids they must feel like they can complain to me since I won't judge them.
Bad things, bad things, bad things, but they are worth it.
They aren't doing a good job convincing me. Best I can tell the worth it part amounts to a few mins a day. Threads like this parents get all worked up and throw out nothing but the good things (which I can understand), but in real life if you don't bring up kids and just let them go it's all bad stuff. I think parents need to work on their sales pitch. Either that or since I don't have kids they must feel like they can complain to me since I won't judge them.
This is exactly the point I was trying to make. For example, "My car breaks down every week, it eats gas, it forces me to never eat out or go on vacation because the repair costs are so high, and it takes up the entire garage so I had to get rid of all my other toys, BUT I LOVE MY CAR!" As a non-parent this is exactly how it sounds to me and I'm not trying to be cynical. Why do people complain about getting up at 4 AM every morning and then beg me to have a kid saying how wonderful it is.
On another note, both my sister and I were adopted by our parents who were in their late 30's at the time. My wife was born when her parents were in their late 30's as well. Having what we had growing up will be impossible on the salaries we make now and we want our kids to have the lives we did - that's why I'm concerned about money. And because I am adopted I see that as a 100% viable choice if a couple is infertile so I get upset when people claim adopted children, "just aren't the same".
As someone who had to do IVF to get pregnant, I understand what you're saying, and adoption would have been our next step if IVF hadn't worked. But adoption is a long, strenuous process these days, too - you have to go through psychological and home evaluations, medical evaluations, etc. It is incredibly expensive, especially domestic adoption - and it takes years in most situations. While I understand the need to make sure this unfortunate child is going into a good home, it makes the process very daunting. And many people want to explore every avenue of having their own biological offspring - that's not wrong, it is just their choice.
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I wouldn’t listen to these posters about being so happy. Research shows about 50% parents are depressed having/raising kids. Kids actually don't raise happiness levels it lowers them. Here a couple of good reads on the subject.
Why Parents Hate Parenting -- New York Magazine
If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted. - Slate Magazine
I would also like to point out what numerous other posters have point out they have hinted at their money problems and will probably eventually fight more with their significant other later on over the money issues. Right they are still in what I would see as a "honeymoon" stage of having a kid. Most money fights lead to a divorce.
Why Parents Hate Parenting -- New York Magazine
If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted. - Slate Magazine
I would also like to point out what numerous other posters have point out they have hinted at their money problems and will probably eventually fight more with their significant other later on over the money issues. Right they are still in what I would see as a "honeymoon" stage of having a kid. Most money fights lead to a divorce.
CycloneErik
Well-Known Member
As to that last part, absolutely disagree with horribly shallow analysis. Every married couple will argue and fight about money. Not even nearly half of those couple will divorce.
If you said "most divorces come from fights about money," you might have something. The other way around is false.
That brings up a whole other arguement, which I really don't want to start...but oh well.
How do people handle stress and disagreements? It seems like too many people just take the easy way out not caring if it is the best decision or the right/wrong decision.
I'm just glad my parents decided to have children!
So your not glad your parents decided to have children. Well, I'm with you there.
How can these articles say it increases stress, anxiety, and does not increase happiness when all we hear from CF and other places how wonderful children are? Either people are lying to the researchers (which I doubt) or they are putting on a happy face to the world they know - too ashamed to be honest.
We thought maybe the best way to prevent fights about money was to not have any money, the results have not been favorable.
I forgot to add:
If you have kids, make sure and get them vaccinated on schedule please :smile:
(couldn't resist)
If you have kids, make sure and get them vaccinated on schedule please :smile:
(couldn't resist)
