Quarterly roundup of amusing (and sometimes insightful) comments I encountered on Cyclone Fanatic, January-March 2025. If anyone recalls a nugget I missed, please add to thread.

Key:
Bold is thread title (or summary of it)
*** indicates break in narrative flow.

Some entries have been edited for clarity, brevity, spelling and all that.

In case you missed it: Notable Posts: Q4 2024

Due to volume of material, I'll do this in two posts. I had to make some difficult decisions for cuts, too.

PART 1 of 2

Random Thoughts in the Year 2525
@JP4CY: Looking forward to football today. Gonna wash all the bedding and get a bunch of laundry done.
@ImJustKCClone: I have this mental image of you washing your bedding only once a year.

***2024-25 Men’s College Basketball Thread***
@Malone: Trevin Knell for BYU is 26! years old.
@isucyfan: There's no way he's 4.0329146e+26 years old.
***
@CychiatricWard: (re KSU) “Octagon of Room” … a lot of empty seats.
***
@PizzaTheHutt: Kansas looks like a car with four wheels, but one of the wheels is a cube.

(Resurrected thread) Official announcement of TJ as Iowa State men’s basketball coach
@CtownCyclone: Real question is, when do we burn our tickets? It's cold outside, need to burn them to heat the house.
@VeloClone: Since Jamie went to virtual tickets for so many of our programs, burning my tickets has gotten really expensive, since I am replacing my phone after each holocaust.
@coolerifyoudid: Might I recommend a burner phone?

2024-25 MBB Computer Projection Thread
@Sigmapolis: Almost comical how many Q1A games we have comin' up.
@ClubCy: Exactly, and I can’t wait to see the meltdown if we happen to drop a couple.
@NENick: Oh, I can wait.

***2024-25 CFB Playoff/Bowl Games Thread***
@GTO: When does the Orange Bowl mascot go inside a fake, giant juicer, so the players can drink him?

Cards
@CyCrazy: Euchre is the game that always leads to fights, usually because my wife is my partner.
@stormchaser2014: I know people that take the game so seriously that stealing their trick is worse than sleeping with their wife.

***Official #9 Kansas vs. #2 Iowa State game day thread***
@CoachHines3: Ol’ Doc Sadler is a senior advisor for KU. Saw him and TJ embrace after the game.
@CloneLawman: Any tongue?

What is it with the refs?
@dafarmer: My.
@nfrine: Enough said.

Hilton urinals
(Nominated by @CycloneRulzzz)
@CycloneDaddy: Who the hell is looking at strangers’ d*cks while p*ssing?
@bos: Exactly. Just stick to people you know.

AI in Gmail
@Cyclonepride: Gemini AI just appeared recently appeared on Gmail, and now it's populating into email responses, despite turning off the smart features … Any ideas to get rid of it?
@coolerifyoudid: Ask Gemini AI for help on how to get rid of itself, and watch an existential crisis unfold in real time.

Weird Geography Facts
@danvillecyclone: Did you know if you search “weird geography facts” on Google, this thread is 3rd on the search list? Obviously, I’m not on here enough.
@Cyclones_R_GR8: Much like the rest of us, when Google wants to know something, it checks CF first.
***
@CoachHines3: Half past a monkey’s a** is a quarter to his balls.
@CySmurf: Good Lord, you’re not in middle school anymore.
CoachHines3: Maybe I am.
@MeanDean: That's why his mom gets so much action. She's still pretty young.

***Official #2 Iowa State vs. West Virginia game day thread***
@exCYtable: Is this court slick? Why does it seem like everyone is slipping a little?
@JM4CY: Moonshine.
***
@ClonerJams: Minus-3 in turnovers and shooting the 3 like Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Along Came Polly.”

***Official UCF vs. #3 Iowa State game day thread***
@Malone: Jess Settles turning into a goddamn national treasure.
@Dgilbertson: How fake is that hair? Kid was bald in ‘88.

***Official #3 Iowa State vs. Arizona State game day thread***
@Clonehomer: Forks down!

Memorial Union Zodiac: To walk Around or Step It Through
@RagingCloner: I went on a tour during HS, had no idea what i was doing. just strolled right over that hallowed ground.
@acoustimac: And you still graduated?
RagingCloner: High school? Yes.

ISU baseball team
(link posted by @Messi): Bill introduced in Iowa House requiring Iowa State and UNI to bring back varsity baseball.
@coolerifyoudid: Up next: A bill requiring Iowa to bring back varsity basketball.

***Official Kansas State vs. #3 Iowa State game(day) thread***
(After the debacle … various, disconnected comments)
@Stumbles (after the game): Just got home from work and I don't even want a beer.
@clonedude: TJ should accuse KSU of cheating after the game!
@awd4cy: But at least we win KC, right? All that matters to the casuals.
@cytor: ISU indeed has qualified for the Big 12 tournament in KC.

Today’s loss is due to GameDay
(The “math conversation.”)
@harimad: It’s almost as if we’re missing an integral player.
@Cyched: Maybe a derivative player could help.
harimad: I'll just take a functional player at this point.
@stormchaser2014: I think we've reached our limit on those.

11-Win Poster
—> This made me chuckle, I call it the “grab-bag” post.
@Drew0311: Ill check and see how many I grabbed. I grabbed some really quick for my nephews. If I only grabbed two I won't have an extra, but if I grabbed three, I’ll send you the third one.

Iowa State improved to 15-14 (5-2 Big 12) on the season with their game one win over Arizona State 23-11 (5-5 Big 12) on Friday.

These pictures are from game one.

Long story short, my dog chewed all of the wiring on the sump pump including the battery but it was probably time to replace that anyway. Basically all needs replaced.

Anybody get this done? I could probably do it but the downside for me doing it wrong is pretty catastrophic so I'm willing to just pony up the cash. I got a bid on it but I thought it was outlandishly high, I didn't know if my expectations were out of whack or what but if anybody has a recommendation on a guy I'll probably go with that.

MONDAY MUSINGS:

- The NCAA transfer portal
- Former Cyclones in new spots
- Softball on a tear
- The Yankees big bats & more from @cfchangs9

A long-running joke is no more. Yes, Olive Garden is coming to Ames. What to know:

Right off the Dayton exit of Highway 30 across from Kwik Star. We've finally arrived folks.

I had a catered work lunch last week and the company brought in a highly touted local pizza. It was New York Style and fairly expensive. The pizza was New York Style and was one of the worst I have ever had. It was worse than thin crust Totinos frozen cheese pizza from my ISU years.

This lead me down a rabbit hole. Do most people really think NY style pizza is so good?

Here is a comprehensive webpage I found comparing common pizza styles in the US.:

Guide to American Pizzas: 7 Most Popular Pizza Types in the USA

• American Style Pizza
• New York Style Pizza
• New Haven Pizza
• Sicilian Pizza
• Detroit Style Pizza
• Chicago Deep Dish Pizza
• Midwest Style Pizza (Bar/Tavern Style Pizza)

American Style Pizza:
"American-style pizza typically has a round shape with medium thickness, a relatively low dough hydration, and a dense and chewy texture. The dough often contains a higher
percentage of vegetable oil and sugar, and it is usually baked in a conveyor oven. The tomato sauce is usually heavily seasoned, and the pizza is generously topped with standard toppings, as the relatively thick crust can easily support them. The cheese used can be mozzarella or other types, including cheese substitutes (god forbid)"

New York Style Pizza:
"A classic New York pizza, also known as a “New York slice,” is a thin and chewy pizza with a diameter of 40-50cm or 16″-20″. It is cut into eight equal slices and baked in deck ovens at around 300C/570F directly on the oven’s stone for about 7 minutes. The dough is made from high-gluten flour, and grated dry mozzarella cheese (whole milk low moisture, or WMLM mozzarella) is used. It is typically sold by the slice and usually reheated when ordered for eating “on the go.”"

New Haven Pizza:
"The New Haven pizza is known for its well-done doneness and is characterized by its flat crust and charred bottom. It is typically large, never perfectly circular, and sliced into small pieces (usually 16 slices or more, depending on the pizza’s size). Unlike the New York Slice, which is sold by the slice, the New Haven pizza is only available as a whole pizza for dine-in or delivery."

Sicilian Pizza:
"Sicilian pizza is characterized by a relatively thick crust with a crispy bottom and a soft, chewy, and relatively dense crumb, which slightly resembles bread or focaccia. The toppings on the Sicilian pizza vary, ranging from plain tomatoes and cheese to combinations of vegetables and meats."

Detroit Style Pizza:
"Detroit pizza is renowned for its thick, soft crust and is typically served in large squares. What sets Detroit pizza apart from other styles is the “crown” of caramelized cheese that covers the entire crust. Describing or comparing the taste and texture of this caramelized cheese are hard to describe or compare to any other pizza or food."

Chicago Deep Dish Pizza:
"The deep dish pizza is generously topped with a thick layer of sauce and toppings, with the sauce always placed on top of the cheese and toppings. This gives it the appearance of a pie rather than a traditional pizza. It is traditionally eaten using a knife and fork, as it is considered a dish in its own right. The assembly of a deep dish pizza involves placing the cheese directly on the dough, followed by additional toppings if desired. On top of the toppings, a chunky-textured sauce made from crushed tomatoes is added, and grated hard cheese such as Pecorino or Parmesan can be sprinkled on top of the sauce."

Midwest Style Pizza:
"Midwest-style pizza is round and has a thin, flat crust. The sauce tends to be thick and slightly sweet, made from crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, or a combination of both. The toppings vary depending on the region and the specific type of pizza. Some well-known sub-styles of Midwest -style pizza include tavern/bar style pizza, Chicago thin crust, and St. Louis style pizza."

Hi everyone! I shared this on Twitter, but I wanted to share it here too!

This is a heads up that I will have some wrestling content for all of you this week. I had promised it last week and then hadn't circled back on it. Full transparency why I haven't put anything out: the day after I got back from NCAA's **** kind of hit the fan for me. We discovered my mom had an infection and ended up doing a few days in the hospital, and I had to help take care of my siblings. It's been a bit of a hot mess trying to balance all the things, and wrestling has slipped a bit through the cracks. Not the transfer portal though! I've made sure to stay on top of transfer moves happening and made sure to be in contact with the right people. I had a nice, quick check-in with Dresser last week too. So please know that I know how important the transfer portal stuff is to all of the fans.

I know I don't always have to give ya'll life updates, but I wanted to share because the work is important, and I promised it! It's important to me, but it's just really hard to sit and finish writing sometimes when everything else is on fire lol. Thanks for always being supportive and consuming the wrestling content! I'm excited to share it.

I will have a lineup/transfer portal column tonight. I'll have two feature stories later this week. One of them is on The Frost Brothers and I've been legit working on this all season! I'm excited to put it out there. Plus, I think you'll like the second feature as well.

A side note: I have reached out to Mike with our CF Shop about the Frost Brother tees. As soon as I have an update, I will let you all know! I have been in contact with Stacey Frost and she sent over all the information I would need to make these happen from a design standpoint. I just need to get the backend stuff figured out with the shop. Thanks to those who reached out about this and those who made sure to share the NIL tee opportunity with Stacey at the social in Philly. I'm excited to do this for them!

This has been a debate back and forth lately with some of my buddies. If you look at that ISU room, I would argue this coaching staff is one of the best from the accomplishment side of things. I also know that St. John will get some live go's in but I do not think Metcalf does a whole lot of live go's. I am not saying that is a bad thing, but the debate was coming from some Okie State buddies. DT requires ALL coaches go lives, and work out with the wrestlers. If I were a coach, and I had that kind of staff and wins between them, I would want them wrestling a lot with my guys. Now, one might say "what is considered a fair amount of wrestling with staff" and I really don't know the answer. I wanted to get a discussion going on what we think here at Iowa State. In a perfect world, I would want a smaller coach, a mid weight coach, an upper weight coach, all so they could go with the wrestlers. Then have a HC, the brains behind the staff. RTC coaches obviously help, and I know DC is in there rolling around and working with a lot of the kids for extra work.

Solomon Young, a former Iowa State Men's Basketball standout, scored seven points in South Bay Lakers win over Iowa Wolves on Friday.

Young caught up with Jar Lar's Sidebar to share anecdotes from Sacramento to Ames to Europe.

Read the full story: https://jarlaros.substack.com/p/where-are-they-now-solomon-young

Chris Williams & Brent Blum analyze this weekend’s transfer portal news for the Iowa State basketball program. Where is this roster projected to be at the start of next season? What pieces could Iowa State still add this spring? Plus, Audi Crooks and Addy Brown both reaffirmed their commitments to Iowa State over the weekend. Talking all that and more, courtesy of Mechdyne.

RECRUITING: "I think when I came to Virginia, I was limited in ways. (Iowa State) wants to just break me open, and that's a big reason why I picked them."

@cfchangs9 spoke to Iowa State's latest portal add @Blake_Buchanan4 about what to expect.

Busy watching the Duke vs SC Elite 8 game. What blows me away is the speed on both teams from 1-5 and some of the roster depth on these teams.

After watching the Twister Sisters live and on the tube it got me thinking deeply with most of the team sticking around; what does the team need? So here are a few thoughts:

1. Another PF from the transfer portal. We have 3 centers and way too many guards to count. We need another player that can shoot inside, outside, play down low and have some speed. Someone that can both compliment Addy and spell her when she gets in foul trouble.

2. Getting more guards to handle the rock and move the ball around.

3. An updated offense and players that don’t telegraph every single pass. I think of how many games players would stare at Audi in the post waiting to pass to her without looking around.

4. Speed and endurance from the of season program. Time to take the weights off when on the court. We looked so tired by the end of the season.

5. Less feat of shooting g or driving the lane. Emily did that from time to time. Addy does it at times. We need more.

6. An updated offense that is not stare down Audi, or did I already say that? More passes and movement.

7. Finding a better more aggressive defense.

Is that to much to ask?

SDSU just named the former Cyclone player head coach.

To switch all NIL to basketball for a couple years to compete for the national title? I’m getting to the point where it’s would rather compete for a national title in basketball than competing more for stuff in n football.

I just don’t think we will ever compete for anything in football.

While portal season is exciting, I want to talk about the freshmen. It is hard these days it seems for freshmen to make an impact; under TJ its pretty much been Tamin and Milan. However, I do like the potential of these guys. Batemon is the highest rated and by all accounts can shoot the **** out of the ball. Toure is more under the radar, but a lot of people seem to think he may be the best of our recruits. Mitchell was the Wisconsin Gatorade player of the year. Pleta is not technically a freshman, but I included him as well. We'll see how his game translates.

This popped up in feed today. I remember my disbelief.

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Does anybody support all the teams from one city? Or is it more typical for Iowans to be like me and kind of be all over the place?

My family wasn’t particularly into sports.

For the NFL, I picked the Packers because I lived in northeast Iowa and it was the Brett Favre Super Bowl years when I started paying attention. I suppose I could have just as easily picked the Vikings or Bears. A lot of classmates were Cowboys fans too, especially with it being the mid to late 90s. The Chiefs were kind of far away.

For college, we moved to central Iowa during Eustachy’s Big 12 championship runs. I didn’t really pay attention to college sports before that other than seeing if my pop bottle cap matched the NCAA tournament winner. I had some family that supported the Hawkeyes and I even had a couple pieces of Iowa clothing as a kid but never thought much of it. A friend in northeast Iowa liked “the other one” and that was about all I really knew of Iowa State before moving to central Iowa. I started with Iowa State basketball and then picked up on football. Thankfully Mac was starting to take us to bowl games.

For MLB, I picked the Yankees first because an older cousin liked them and always wore a Yankees hat. Then I picked the Cubs as my local/National League team.

For the NBA, I picked the Bulls because of Michael Jordan but didn’t really follow them. Then I liked the Lakers because they were good. Finally, I kind of picked the Pacers after they picked Tinsley. I quit caring for several years and starting paying attention again when they got Haliburton.

For the NHL, I picked the Avalanche, but I never really watched much. I moved to Washington state as an adult and the closest team was the Canucks, so I kind of followed their scores. Then we got the Kraken and they became my team.

Living in Washington state as an adult added the Seatte pro teams and local colleges to my fandom.

Yes, I’m shooting the crap with a long post including personal details you probably don’t care about. Go easy on me.