Wedding Gift Budget

[VeloClone]

Like I said I think this is regional. Growing up in Iowa and having a ton of family in Iowa I would agree with most in this thread. Somewhere in the $50 to $100. But spending most of my adult life in the Chicago area the $100 a head thing very much is the standard out here.

If it were up to me just get married invite only those closest to you and enjoy the day vs having a huge wedding. Not worth the fuss.

My dinner/entertainment is my self justification for writing many $200+ checks over the years. Not saying it is right.

Our wedding for example was a 200 person wedding base cost was $56 per head, by the time my MIL got done pissing off my wife we were over $65 a head. Cash gifts va cost of reception we were break even to maybe $1000 ahead. That said most people had a great time and the party is still talked about in my family. Note that the per head count was the cheapest venue that was toured, the others were $80 or more and that was limited bar. At least the venue chosen provided full open bar.

The last Chicagoland wedding we went to had a miserable reception. Our friends obviously paid a lot for the reception venue and were probably on the hook for a lot for the meal. But the caterer was in way over their head. We waited for over an hour for the first table to be served and then a table would get served once every 15 minutes or so. Our table alone waited for over an hour to even get a basket of bread to tide us over. It was an absolute miserable experience for everyone and I felt so bad for the bride and groom as they obviously had no control over it. I hope they didn't have to pay a dime for that meal because they shouldn't have.

 

[BCClone]

By far the best food at this wedding was the kids’ meal. I wonder if I can get away with selecting that myself if I go to another wedding there? All of us adults at the table with the little kids wound up raiding their plates when they moved onto cake.

I was at one at a resort type place in western iowa. You RSVPd with beef, chicken, vegetarian or whatever they had. When you went through the line it was a cluster. Kinda grab what you want. So who knows if people got what they signed. There was this douchey dude by me. He picked up this random carafe and asked if it was gravy. He was going to layer everything with it. I heard a few before me that it was some raspberry salad dressing that looked dark. I told him, it looks like gravy, but my wife corrected it right before he dumped it.

Side story, we drove our suburban and 2 other couples went with us. I followed GPS and it took us down this gravel road and when it said we had arrived at our destination, it was a valley and we were at the driveway of a hog confinement, I was sure that wasn’t it even though the dad was a vet. Kept driving and found out GOS out is 2-3 miles too far south.

 

[carvers4math]

I was at one at a resort type place in western iowa. You RSVPd with beef, chicken, vegetarian or whatever they had. When you went through the line it was a cluster. Kinda grab what you want. So who knows if people got what they signed. There was this douchey dude by me. He picked up this random carafe and asked if it was gravy. He was going to layer everything with it. I heard a few before me that it was some raspberry salad dressing that looked dark. I told him, it looks like gravy, but my wife corrected it right before he dumped it.

Side story, we drove our suburban and 2 other couples went with us. I followed GPS and it took us down this gravel road and when it said we had arrived at our destination, it was a valley and we were at the driveway of a hog confinement, I was sure that wasn’t it even though the dad was a vet. Kept driving and found out GOS out is 2-3 miles too far south.

This was a sit down dinner at an event place where you could pick beef, chicken, vegetarian, or kid’s meal. My husband, our boys, and their assorted dates had eight kids to watch whose parents were in the wedding party. The salad was by far the best part of the adult meal and fortunately they accidentally put some of those at kids’ place settings. The six year old spent dinner buttering and eating dinner rolls. Several of us surrendered our rolls to him, I think he ate six altogether. But his chicken strips were delicious compared to the adult entrees. They must have thought the kids were good eaters when they picked up plates because we were all raiding the chicken strips when the kids were done.

 

[boone7247]

When you say full open bar, do you mean they served everything or that it was a free bar?

Going off what I have heard over the recent years in my area of NC Iowa, receptions with 200 would be $25 to $30 head for everything except for what is decided on the cake. Very fortunate to have decent facilities that are quite affordable. If you went with a more basic set up like a serving line and a pulled pork and pulled chicken, you could pull that to 20-25 per head also. Throw in a DJ for a few bucks a head, the usual free beer, pop, wine for about another 10 a head and you are up to that 40 something per head.

Yep we had a full open bar, as in no one paid for a drink the entire night, and all alcohol was available. I married into a Polish family, so alcohol is a right of passage. Each table had a bottle of vodka, red and white wine. Vodka bottles were replenished as they were emptied. It is their custom. Weddings in Poland are insane and go on for hours, or more accurately days. We recreated that the best we could here in the states.

I never thought of a wedding as a break even proposition and I think anyone who is having a wedding and inviting people to a reception shouldn't be either. They are gifts, not payment in kind.

I am an accountant so everything is a balance sheet or income statement. We enjoyed our wedding and it certainly isn't for everyone. It was what it was meant to be for us.

 

[BCClone]

Yep we had a full open bar, as in no one paid for a drink the entire night, and all alcohol was available. I married into a Polish family, so alcohol is a right of passage. Each table had a bottle of vodka, red and white wine. Vodka bottles were replenished as they were emptied. It is their custom. Weddings in Poland are insane and go on for hours, or more accurately days. We recreated that the best we could here in the states.

I am an accountant so everything is a balance sheet or income statement. We enjoyed our wedding and it certainly isn't for everyone. It was what it was meant to be for us.

Open bars make a lot of difference, lol.

 

[boone7247]

The last Chicagoland wedding we went to had a miserable reception. Our friends obviously paid a lot for the reception venue and were probably on the hook for a lot for the meal. But the caterer was in way over their head. We waited for over an hour for the first table to be served and then a table would get served once every 15 minutes or so. Our table alone waited for over an hour to even get a basket of bread to tide us over. It was an absolute miserable experience for everyone and I felt so bad for the bride and groom as they obviously had no control over it. I hope they didn't have to pay a dime for that meal because they shouldn't have.

That is awful. One of our friends got married at a golf course, and the area lost power due to a storm the night before, power was restored 15 minutes before the wedding, that meal was terrible. I felt bad for them. Everyone left the venue and went to a bar and ate, including the bride and groom.

 

[BCClone]

We went to a reception where the caterer marked the wrong week. So they had to order everything possible from neighboring towns to have food. We had dinner engagements so we came after a normal meal and food (pizza and tacos) were 30 minutes after us