Toxic work environment

[SCNCY]

I just got another meeting from my manager put on my calendar with her and HR again for 10 am tomorrow. I already know I'm putting in my two weeks then. But I'm coming armed with screenshots and conversations and emails and my personal takes on why I feel this company isn't for me. It's completely professional and factual but they need to know. My better half says I should ask that the CEO be invited so they know what's going on too.

Given what you’ve said so far, they may put you on a PIP to get rid of you.

 

[BryceC]

Take the high road and move on.

Inviting ceo's, screenshots of communications, he said, she said, etc. is draining and will come off as angry and vindictive, inspite of how well you pull these things together.

Focus all emotional energy on next step(s).

Agreed. It’s 8 months. The stuff with them just seems petty and childish. That’s on them.

 

[12191987]

Also: Sorry you’re going through it.

There is a reason conventional wisdom is that bad management, particularly micromanagement, is the best predictor of job dissatisfaction.

 

[KennyPratt42]

If you don’t like your manager and company, I’m not exactly sure why you are playing right into what’s best for them. If you walk in with lots of screen shots and an effective immediately resignation, the manager and HR person will probably walk back to their offices after the meeting whistling. You are saving the company money vs giving two weeks or best case for you, them firing you. You will also 100% be labeled as a “problem” and your manager won’t get any negative feedback for having a subordinate leave that was doing well with their clients. Also, nothing you say, do, or document in a meeting with a hostile manager and HR will ever make any change or difference in the company, so you’d just be doing it for yourself.

 

[FarmerCy1]

My unsolicited advice: Don’t.

If you’ve got another job lined up and are ready to leave, then give notice before the meeting or wait a day or two after.

Hopefully being checked out will help you keep your cool during the meeting.

Save the unvarnished feedback for the exit interview.

Honestly I’ve always thought of exit interviews as a non value added activity. If the company truly cared about improving its culture, they’d ask for candid feedback before someone gives their notice. It’s tempting to give the unvarnished feedback and just unload, but at that point HR doesn’t care- and they didn’t care to begin with. I was always taught if you did agree to an exit interviews, or was forced to then just stick to generics “I found a better opportunity, etc.” but if you can avoid having to go through the exercise then just avoid it.

 

[Gonzo]

This is gonna be long-winded, so apologies. But curious if anyone has been in a toxic work environment and how you handled it. Note this is all from my perspective, and I am 100% aware a company/HR has their own perspective.

I started a job around 8 months ago. It's an ok company, but I was out of work for a while and needed SOMETHING so accepted their offer. I have 20 years of experience, and this job is knowingly (to the company and to me) very junior as to what I was doing previously. I don't think the work or the position was beneath me in any way.

My manager and I have a fine working relationship, but over the past few months, there is an increase of 'nitpicking' and meetings thrown on calendars to discuss what I consider maybe worthy of a quick Slack message. But I digress...it's how the company works so it's fine. It's things like 'you set your Slack notifications to mute for a few hours and that is a horrible look'. As an FYI, I am fully online, but when I'm head down and writing something I don't like to be disturbed. Anyone can message me, it's just that I won't get back to you for a bit. Also we have weekly metrics that are due every week, and company documents state 'share with manager weekly on Friday'. I share mine every week between 5 and 6...but got told that's past business hours. Fine, I can submit late afternoon.

The company also offers free mental health therapy which I think is great. Six weeks ago I scheduled my first session with a therapist and she had to reschedule, so I did. The second try, she just never joined the session. I informed HR of this and they were concerned and stated they'd flag it up to the highest people because that's not great. A month goes by. I follow up several times with HR and no updates. I schedule a different therapist, they cancel. I tell HR. It's now been six weeks and there is no update or resolve.

Manager throws calendar invites on my calendar with no agenda or topic of what it's for. To me, that is incredibly stressful. A couple of months ago, I told her I would appreciate if I had a sense of what meetings were about before heading into them. Nothing changed.

Had a meeting this morning with manager and it all went south. She brought up Slack and metrics and I said those are fair and I'll work on those, but it's frustrating to see that this types of things are huge concerns for employees but mental health doesn't seem to be. She immediately called me defensive and ended the meeting. Was I defensive? I was not happy but I was just being truthful in my stress and frustration.

She threw a meeting with me and her and HR on the calendar for this afternoon. I walked into a landmine. I stated my concerns, and HR person literally rolled her eyes and said she didn't believe me. Then asked why metrics were sent at 6:00 last week and truth be told, I was interviewing for another job, but I just said I was dealing with some personal matters and HR pressed me asking what personal stuff I was going through. I said it was private and don't have to provide that information, and she pressed me again asking specifically what I'm going through. That is, according to my HR friend I chatted with, horrible behavior for an HR professional and actually could be considered harassment.

Meeting ended with HR basically telling me I better put on my happy company face in my next meeting with colleagues, which is basically a threat.

There are countless other examples of red flags I could mention, but these were the straw that broke the camels back. I'm walking in tomorrow with documentation of what I consider a toxic work environment, and submitting my resignation effective immediately.

Am I too soft? I have never felt so disrespected for providing my view of company issues in my life. I'm too old to deal with a work environment like that.

No. You're not too soft. That place sounds f*cked up and you need to find something else.

 

[Cyched]

Life is too short to deal with toxic people or a job that’s not a good situation. Explore your options.

 

[NazClone]

Whiny, complaining, problem employees like you are why we always did temp to hire.

 

[snowcraig2.0]

I just got another meeting from my manager put on my calendar with her and HR again for 10 am tomorrow. I already know I'm putting in my two weeks then. But I'm coming armed with screenshots and conversations and emails and my personal takes on why I feel this company isn't for me. It's completely professional and factual but they need to know. My better half says I should ask that the CEO be invited so they know what's going on too.

You are a legend if you don't wear pants to this meeting.....

 

[Peter]

Company goals and metrics make me gag. I don’t care about your stupid work culture. I’m here to make the company money and get paid some of that money. It’s basic ****.

 

[cybychoice]

Whiny, complaining, problem employees like you are why we always did temp to hire.

Don’t be shy name drop your company so we all know never to work there

 

[MeowingCows]

Literally this is a Glassdoor review and it speaks to me:

Most of the folks in management are just controlling.It got to the point where I wasn't even paying attention to my clients' needs anymore and was more worried about upsetting management for something very minor and getting talked to (usually about something I was completely unaware of).I also felt like I couldn't get anything done for my clients because I was always appeasing management and their pointless preferences or meetings. My clients soon became a lower priority than management itself.It honestly felt like I was walking in a minefield and never knew which "management mine" was going to go off. You feel like you can't ever do anything right.Overall was not a great experience. Management was open to listen to the poor feedback but refused to do anything about it. This could explain the high employee and client turnover.

I did randomly hear a few weeks ago a convo between colleagues that there has been a 50% turnover the past year. Oof.

That's not a 'you' problem. Easy decision.

 

[JP4CY]

Don’t be shy name drop your company so we all know never to work there

Amazon delivery

 

[HOTDON]

I'm mid 40's in a job that has been tough for me for a while. I have a unique personality that used to be seen as a strength, but is always used as a strike against me when reviews and raises come along. Thought I needed a change a while back and started looking. It's pretty tough out there. I'm glad I didn't walk, but would have been leaving a lot of perks and benefits based on years worked. I'm fortunate to be reporting to someone different now that has taken some of the pressure off. Toughest part in hindsight was the realization that I wasn't being valued at my current company and didn't appear to have much value on the open market either.

None of that helps you at all, but there's a lot more of us in the same boat than you realize and we want to hear how you come out on the other side. We can live vicariously through your success. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

 

[Cyched]

Amazon delivery

Is this actually BDK? I don’t remember him being this much of a raging a hole.

 

[KennyPratt42]

Also, it is a hell of a lot easier to get the new job when you are employed vs after you’ve either been fired or resigned. If it takes awhile there is less pressure on you to find something quickly so you’ll perform better in interviews and also one less question/thought to overcome with the new hiring manager about why you quit/got fired. And never under any circumstances say you didn’t get along with a previous manager.

 

[Cyclones01]

Forgot to mention that I've been here 8 months and have been denied to take even a half day off of vacation. I have tried twice taking one day and was told it's just too busy. Yet there are people that have been there a few years and they're taking a full week off...and literally not going anywhere they are just doing a staycation at home. But myself, and probably other newer hires, get denied for asking for a day off to travel for a long weekend.

I don't know what industry you're in, but for a salaried employee that's insane to me.

 

[cowgirl836]

Oh then I hard retract that comment, yeah that’s some BS.

The face I made when he said that. Yikes.

 

[Cyched]

Also, it is a hell of a lot easier to get the new job when you are employed vs after you’ve either been fired or resigned. If it takes awhile there is less pressure on you to find something quickly so you’ll perform better in interviews and also one less question/thought to overcome with the new hiring manager about why you quit/got fired. And never under any circumstances say you didn’t get along with a previous manager.

First sentence is underrated life advice.

Even if you like your job, if there’s red flags or alarm bells, don’t wait to find out the hard way.

 

[cowgirl836]

Ok this is 100% a bad idea unless you already have that next job lined up.

If you do then send the CEO an invite to the meeting and just have fun with it, but if you don’t that’s just not smart.

Should make them fire so he can get unemployment