Toxic work environment

dahliaclone

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Mar 4, 2007
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Minneapolis
This is gonna be long-winded, so apologies. But curious if anyone has been in a toxic work environment and how you handled it. Note this is all from my perspective, and I am 100% aware a company/HR has their own perspective.

I started a job around 8 months ago. It's an ok company, but I was out of work for a while and needed SOMETHING so accepted their offer. I have 20 years of experience, and this job is knowingly (to the company and to me) very junior as to what I was doing previously. I don't think the work or the position was beneath me in any way.

My manager and I have a fine working relationship, but over the past few months, there is an increase of 'nitpicking' and meetings thrown on calendars to discuss what I consider maybe worthy of a quick Slack message. But I digress...it's how the company works so it's fine. It's things like 'you set your Slack notifications to mute for a few hours and that is a horrible look'. As an FYI, I am fully online, but when I'm head down and writing something I don't like to be disturbed. Anyone can message me, it's just that I won't get back to you for a bit. Also we have weekly metrics that are due every week, and company documents state 'share with manager weekly on Friday'. I share mine every week between 5 and 6...but got told that's past business hours. Fine, I can submit late afternoon.

The company also offers free mental health therapy which I think is great. Six weeks ago I scheduled my first session with a therapist and she had to reschedule, so I did. The second try, she just never joined the session. I informed HR of this and they were concerned and stated they'd flag it up to the highest people because that's not great. A month goes by. I follow up several times with HR and no updates. I schedule a different therapist, they cancel. I tell HR. It's now been six weeks and there is no update or resolve.

Manager throws calendar invites on my calendar with no agenda or topic of what it's for. To me, that is incredibly stressful. A couple of months ago, I told her I would appreciate if I had a sense of what meetings were about before heading into them. Nothing changed.

Had a meeting this morning with manager and it all went south. She brought up Slack and metrics and I said those are fair and I'll work on those, but it's frustrating to see that this types of things are huge concerns for employees but mental health doesn't seem to be. She immediately called me defensive and ended the meeting. Was I defensive? I was not happy but I was just being truthful in my stress and frustration.

She threw a meeting with me and her and HR on the calendar for this afternoon. I walked into a landmine. I stated my concerns, and HR person literally rolled her eyes and said she didn't believe me. Then asked why metrics were sent at 6:00 last week and truth be told, I was interviewing for another job, but I just said I was dealing with some personal matters and HR pressed me asking what personal stuff I was going through. I said it was private and don't have to provide that information, and she pressed me again asking specifically what I'm going through. That is, according to my HR friend I chatted with, horrible behavior for an HR professional and actually could be considered harassment.

Meeting ended with HR basically telling me I better put on my happy company face in my next meeting with colleagues, which is basically a threat.

There are countless other examples of red flags I could mention, but these were the straw that broke the camels back. I'm walking in tomorrow with documentation of what I consider a toxic work environment, and submitting my resignation effective immediately.

Am I too soft? I have never felt so disrespected for providing my view of company issues in my life. I'm too old to deal with a work environment like that.
 
Micro managing is about to push me out of my current job I've had for 10 years. Re-orgs with new leadership who have no background in the field. I got called out a month ago for being logged out of Slack for several hours, funny thing is I was working and not distracted it was just an automatic re-authenticate situation that logged me out and I didn't notice. My boss didnt care, just let me know our new dips*** in charge was getting Slack login reports and forwarded him my words verbatim "I was online all afternoon besides a few minutes to drop a deuce, noticed I wasn't logged into Slack when a ping was sent to my phone. Reauthenticated at 3:42"
 
This is gonna be long-winded, so apologies. But curious if anyone has been in a toxic work environment and how you handled it. Note this is all from my perspective, and I am 100% aware a company/HR has their own perspective.

I started a job around 8 months ago. It's an ok company, but I was out of work for a while and needed SOMETHING so accepted their offer. I have 20 years of experience, and this job is knowingly (to the company and to me) very junior as to what I was doing previously. I don't think the work or the position was beneath me in any way.

My manager and I have a fine working relationship, but over the past few months, there is an increase of 'nitpicking' and meetings thrown on calendars to discuss what I consider maybe worthy of a quick Slack message. But I digress...it's how the company works so it's fine. It's things like 'you set your Slack notifications to mute for a few hours and that is a horrible look'. As an FYI, I am fully online, but when I'm head down and writing something I don't like to be disturbed. Anyone can message me, it's just that I won't get back to you for a bit. Also we have weekly metrics that are due every week, and company documents state 'share with manager weekly on Friday'. I share mine every week between 5 and 6...but got told that's past business hours. Fine, I can submit late afternoon.

The company also offers free mental health therapy which I think is great. Six weeks ago I scheduled my first session with a therapist and she had to reschedule, so I did. The second try, she just never joined the session. I informed HR of this and they were concerned and stated they'd flag it up to the highest people because that's not great. A month goes by. I follow up several times with HR and no updates. I schedule a different therapist, they cancel. I tell HR. It's now been six weeks and there is no update or resolve.

Manager throws calendar invites on my calendar with no agenda or topic of what it's for. To me, that is incredibly stressful. A couple of months ago, I told her I would appreciate if I had a sense of what meetings were about before heading into them. Nothing changed.

Had a meeting this morning with manager and it all went south. She brought up Slack and metrics and I said those are fair and I'll work on those, but it's frustrating to see that this types of things are huge concerns for employees but mental health doesn't seem to be. She immediately called me defensive and ended the meeting. Was I defensive? I was not happy but I was just being truthful in my stress and frustration.

She threw a meeting with me and her and HR on the calendar for this afternoon. I walked into a landmine. I stated my concerns, and HR person literally rolled her eyes and said she didn't believe me. Then asked why metrics were sent at 6:00 last week and truth be told, I was interviewing for another job, but I just said I was dealing with some personal matters and HR pressed me asking what personal stuff I was going through. I said it was private and don't have to provide that information, and she pressed me again asking specifically what I'm going through. That is, according to my HR friend I chatted with, horrible behavior for an HR professional and actually could be considered harassment.

Meeting ended with HR basically telling me I better put on my happy company face in my next meeting with colleagues, which is basically a threat.

There are countless other examples of red flags I could mention, but these were the straw that broke the camels back. I'm walking in tomorrow with documentation of what I consider a toxic work environment, and submitting my resignation effective immediately.

Am I too soft? I have never felt so disrespected for providing my view of company issues in my life. I'm too old to deal with a work environment like that.
Not toxic (although everyone’s definition would be different) but just sounds like you and your manger aren’t on the same communications wavelength. I can see their side on both the slack and metric reporting but also that’s things can be easily solved.

Your part about the meetings should be standard everywhere so that’s a million percent a point in your favor. The mental health contractor is an outside vendor so hard to pin on HR but they should not go radio silent on two canceled sessions.

The fact that you are already interviewing at another job is also a factor. Could be possible that it’s showing in behavior even if you don’t think it is. HR might have been looking to give you an out with the questioning but from your side it seems way more hostile then it should ever be. Same for scheduling the meeting in the first place.

TLDR: not toxic just a bad manager and bad communication at a job you don’t want to be at and if you had truth serum probably think is beneath you. You don’t bring all that up unless there is some subconscious thing going on or someone at your new work has given that feedback.

Glad you’re getting out, sounds like a horrible fit
 
That sounds like a mess and Im sorry you are having to experience that. As had been said before, I think you’re going in the right direction in looking for another job….

That being said, I’d keep documentation of everything in meetings between you, your manager and HR- and I’d keep them as contemporary and with as many verbatim comments as possible. I agree that the Slack comments are nitpicky and seem incredibly petty. As far as your metrics, can I ask if you’re hourly or salaried? Because if you’re salaried it shouldn’t matter when they come in, even after normal business hours as you’re getting paid to work 40-45 hours a week and be on call during off hours, so there really is no true down time or hard cutoff. If worse comes to worse, you could probably resign and try to file for unemployment claiming the hostile work environment lead to a constructive discharge situation where you had no other choice but to resign, especially with the documented attempts at therapy, which also could open them up to an ADA claim. It sounds like it’s partially a bad manager, but HR sounds like it’s been pretty crappy as well, and incredibly unprofessional. Just remember- HR is there to protect the company, not you. At the end of the day you need to do what’s best for your health and your family.
 
That sounds like a mess and Im sorry you are having to experience that. As had been said before, I think you’re going in the right direction in looking for another job….

That being said, I’d keep documentation of everything in meetings between you, your manager and HR- and I’d keep them as contemporary and with as many verbatim comments as possible. I agree that the Slack comments are nitpicky and seem incredibly petty. As far as your metrics, can I ask if you’re hourly or salaried? Because if you’re salaried it shouldn’t matter when they come in, even after normal business hours as you’re getting paid to work 40-45 hours a week and be on call during off hours, so there really is no true down time or hard cutoff. If worse comes to worse, you could probably resign and try to file for unemployment claiming the hostile work environment lead to a constructive discharge situation where you had no other choice but to resign, especially with the documented attempts at therapy, which also could open them up to an ADA claim. It sounds like it’s partially a bad manager, but HR sounds like it’s been pretty crappy as well, and incredibly unprofessional. Just remember- HR is there to protect the company, not you. At the end of the day you need to do what’s best for your health and your family.
Gonna push back on the metric line here as when leadership says they are due they are due regardless of if it’s salary or hourly.

Putting them in after hours on a Friday might be holding a bunch of stuff up or it could just be petty BS based on the description of the manager
 
That sounds like a mess and Im sorry you are having to experience that. As had been said before, I think you’re going in the right direction in looking for another job….

That being said, I’d keep documentation of everything in meetings between you, your manager and HR- and I’d keep them as contemporary and with as many verbatim comments as possible. I agree that the Slack comments are nitpicky and seem incredibly petty. As far as your metrics, can I ask if you’re hourly or salaried? Because if you’re salaried it shouldn’t matter when they come in, even after normal business hours as you’re getting paid to work 40-45 hours a week and be on call during off hours, so there really is no true down time or hard cutoff. If worse comes to worse, you could probably resign and try to file for unemployment claiming the hostile work environment lead to a constructive discharge situation where you had no other choice but to resign, especially with the documented attempts at therapy, which also could open them up to an ADA claim. It sounds like it’s partially a bad manager, but HR sounds like it’s been pretty crappy as well, and incredibly unprofessional. Just remember- HR is there to protect the company, not you. At the end of the day you need to do what’s best for your health and your family.
I am salaried. The nitpicky things just add up when I see so many colleagues being on mute throughout the day...and I don't give a crap that they are. I just re-looked at their Glassdoor reviews and oof I should have done that more than just when I needed a job...but...I needed a job. The reviews of the company could basically be written by me. People quitting because of HR and manager issues, being overworked, etc.
 
Gonna push back on the metric line here as when leadership says they are due they are due regardless of if it’s salary or hourly.

Putting them in after hours on a Friday might be holding a bunch of stuff up or it could just be petty BS based on the description of the manager
To be clear, 'metrics' are just weekly goals we have to fill out on how we are improving every week. Absolutely zero to do with clients or billable work. It's basically their way of having you show you're buying into their four core company metrics and goals.
 
To be clear, 'metrics' are just weekly goals we have to fill out on how we are improving every week. Absolutely zero to do with clients or billable work. It's basically their way of having you show you're buying into their four core company metrics and goals.
Oh then I hard retract that comment, yeah that’s some BS.
 
Get out before they throw you out. Your manager apparently doesnt like you, so they will just wait to toss you when convenient.

Also, HR is NOT your friend. They are there SOLELY to keep the company from getting sued. No one can lie thru a smile while pretending to be your friend better. If HR is involved, hide your wallet, your true opinions and thoughts, and make sure you have a belt on or they will **** you in the ***.
 
This is gonna be long-winded, so apologies. But curious if anyone has been in a toxic work environment and how you handled it. Note this is all from my perspective, and I am 100% aware a company/HR has their own perspective.

I started a job around 8 months ago. It's an ok company, but I was out of work for a while and needed SOMETHING so accepted their offer. I have 20 years of experience, and this job is knowingly (to the company and to me) very junior as to what I was doing previously. I don't think the work or the position was beneath me in any way.

My manager and I have a fine working relationship, but over the past few months, there is an increase of 'nitpicking' and meetings thrown on calendars to discuss what I consider maybe worthy of a quick Slack message. But I digress...it's how the company works so it's fine. It's things like 'you set your Slack notifications to mute for a few hours and that is a horrible look'. As an FYI, I am fully online, but when I'm head down and writing something I don't like to be disturbed. Anyone can message me, it's just that I won't get back to you for a bit. Also we have weekly metrics that are due every week, and company documents state 'share with manager weekly on Friday'. I share mine every week between 5 and 6...but got told that's past business hours. Fine, I can submit late afternoon.

The company also offers free mental health therapy which I think is great. Six weeks ago I scheduled my first session with a therapist and she had to reschedule, so I did. The second try, she just never joined the session. I informed HR of this and they were concerned and stated they'd flag it up to the highest people because that's not great. A month goes by. I follow up several times with HR and no updates. I schedule a different therapist, they cancel. I tell HR. It's now been six weeks and there is no update or resolve.

Manager throws calendar invites on my calendar with no agenda or topic of what it's for. To me, that is incredibly stressful. A couple of months ago, I told her I would appreciate if I had a sense of what meetings were about before heading into them. Nothing changed.

Had a meeting this morning with manager and it all went south. She brought up Slack and metrics and I said those are fair and I'll work on those, but it's frustrating to see that this types of things are huge concerns for employees but mental health doesn't seem to be. She immediately called me defensive and ended the meeting. Was I defensive? I was not happy but I was just being truthful in my stress and frustration.

She threw a meeting with me and her and HR on the calendar for this afternoon. I walked into a landmine. I stated my concerns, and HR person literally rolled her eyes and said she didn't believe me. Then asked why metrics were sent at 6:00 last week and truth be told, I was interviewing for another job, but I just said I was dealing with some personal matters and HR pressed me asking what personal stuff I was going through. I said it was private and don't have to provide that information, and she pressed me again asking specifically what I'm going through. That is, according to my HR friend I chatted with, horrible behavior for an HR professional and actually could be considered harassment.

Meeting ended with HR basically telling me I better put on my happy company face in my next meeting with colleagues, which is basically a threat.

There are countless other examples of red flags I could mention, but these were the straw that broke the camels back. I'm walking in tomorrow with documentation of what I consider a toxic work environment, and submitting my resignation effective immediately.

Am I too soft? I have never felt so disrespected for providing my view of company issues in my life. I'm too old to deal with a work environment like that.
I don’t think I would have made it out of that meeting without quitting.
 
I just got another meeting from my manager put on my calendar with her and HR again for 10 am tomorrow. I already know I'm putting in my two weeks then. But I'm coming armed with screenshots and conversations and emails and my personal takes on why I feel this company isn't for me. It's completely professional and factual but they need to know. My better half says I should ask that the CEO be invited so they know what's going on too.
 
Gonna push back on the metric line here as when leadership says they are due they are due regardless of if it’s salary or hourly.

Putting them in after hours on a Friday might be holding a bunch of stuff up or it could just be petty BS based on the description of the manager
I get that, but without playing packinghouse lawyer too much, the manager’s comments were “to be shared with manager weekly on Friday”. If the metrics were holding production and the business up that much when they’re were submitted after 5, then management should have a specific time put on the due time, not just “on Friday”. That’s just bad management skills to have vague expectations and to attempt to yank the chain back, so to speak.
 
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I just got another meeting from my manager put on my calendar with her and HR again for 10 am tomorrow. I already know I'm putting in my two weeks then. But I'm coming armed with screenshots and conversations and emails and my personal takes on why I feel this company isn't for me. It's completely professional and factual but they need to know. My better half says I should ask that the CEO be invited so they know what's going on too.
Sounds like an insane organization. Don’t…but I wish you could tell us what company is so we could avoid anything to do with this disaster.
 
I just got another meeting from my manager put on my calendar with her and HR again for 10 am tomorrow. I already know I'm putting in my two weeks then. But I'm coming armed with screenshots and conversations and emails and my personal takes on why I feel this company isn't for me. It's completely professional and factual but they need to know. My better half says I should ask that the CEO be invited so they know what's going on too.
Honestly, at this point, if you can survive without it, I’d just consider resigning without giving notice. It’s clear your manager and HR are out for blood, and the worse thing HR is going to do is mark you as not eligible for rehire, and most companies when they call for employment verification will only verify dates of employment and titles.
 
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