KC, sorry to hear about your dad...yeah, it's hard to see the ones we love decline, and I think carvers might be onto something. My grandma spent so much time with my grandpa that when he died, she just didn't know what to do with herself, and I think that led to her mental degradation. Now might be a time to suggest a living community, if he's still aware enough to benefit from the interaction with others, he might jump at the chance to be social.
That's the whole problem. He wants to live in his home, with caregivers M-W-F mornings only. In the past 6-8 months, he has broken his hip, several ribs, and his collarbone in several different falls. He can't remember how to pay bills; when he DOES pay them he forgets to transfer money to the household account (long story on separate finances between him & her per their pre-nup) so the checks go gaboinga-boinga. He forgets to take his meds, forgets to eat, forgets to turn off the stove, forgets to shower & employ personal hygiene. Right now, the only way we can get him into assisted living is to have him committed...and that's the heartbreak.
If he does go to a care facility, we're hoping he will opt to go back to Texas so that he is closer to family. Right now he's in Phoenix; his daughters are in Washington, Iowa & Texas. He's always wanted to go back to Texas but MaryLou hated Texas. She loved So Cal, but Daddy hated THAT. So they compromised with Arizona, where it's 115 freaking degrees... Now that MaryLou is gone he has no family in Phoenix, and most of his friends are already gone (passed away or in care facilities).
....and this is why I haven't been posting. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. There's a lot on my mind right now. I could handle the mafia thread because it was focused. This thread...well, it's to easy to get real sometimes.