We could use a joke...here's one from one of my holy roller podcasts:
A pastor is assigned to a small church, and he has an amazing ability to preach, so the church doubles, then triples in size. They try to add services, but it seems they need a larger church. However, the church is still young, so it seems this would be a long way off...the estimates for a new building are in the $2M range, and the pastor is hesitant to take on debt in such a young church. They begin to talk about it and pray about it, and think deeply on it.
A few months go by and there is a pair of brothers..married, but no children, no other family, but they made a fortune in the oil business. Unfortunately, they're also an absolute terror in the church...demanding appointments to leadership roles, instigating unrest, and just all around nasty people to be around. Well, one of them passes away, and the other comes to the pastor and hands him a check for $2M, and says "Pastor, in honor of my dear brother, we'd love to get your new church started" and as the pastor reaches for the check, the brother pulls it back slightly and says "There's only one thing...when you do his eulogy, I want you to call my brother a saint. In no uncertain terms, I want you to say those words...'he was a saint'."
Now the pastor takes the check, but he's torn...on one hand, the ministry they could do with a new building, but on the other hand, he'd be lying. In the end, the pastor thinks long and hard about it, and deposits the check.
On the day of the funeral, all the pomp and circumstance are included to the utmost degree...the horse drawn hearse, gold plated everything...everything you can imagine. The pastor, at the appointed time, rises and walks somberly to the pulpit. He begins....dear friends, so-and-so was an active member of this church community since it's inception. He gave generously of his fortune...but I want you to know, he was an ungodly person. A manipulating, trouble-making, hard faced human being who showed no repentance despite many opportunities when he was counseled on the error of his ways. He was a horrible husband, treating his wife like a piece of property, and he lorded his fortune over everyone else, as well. He used his fortune for his good, not for god's, and he achieved that fortune by being the same type of miserable christian that I just described. However....
A pastor is assigned to a small church, and he has an amazing ability to preach, so the church doubles, then triples in size. They try to add services, but it seems they need a larger church. However, the church is still young, so it seems this would be a long way off...the estimates for a new building are in the $2M range, and the pastor is hesitant to take on debt in such a young church. They begin to talk about it and pray about it, and think deeply on it.
A few months go by and there is a pair of brothers..married, but no children, no other family, but they made a fortune in the oil business. Unfortunately, they're also an absolute terror in the church...demanding appointments to leadership roles, instigating unrest, and just all around nasty people to be around. Well, one of them passes away, and the other comes to the pastor and hands him a check for $2M, and says "Pastor, in honor of my dear brother, we'd love to get your new church started" and as the pastor reaches for the check, the brother pulls it back slightly and says "There's only one thing...when you do his eulogy, I want you to call my brother a saint. In no uncertain terms, I want you to say those words...'he was a saint'."
Now the pastor takes the check, but he's torn...on one hand, the ministry they could do with a new building, but on the other hand, he'd be lying. In the end, the pastor thinks long and hard about it, and deposits the check.
On the day of the funeral, all the pomp and circumstance are included to the utmost degree...the horse drawn hearse, gold plated everything...everything you can imagine. The pastor, at the appointed time, rises and walks somberly to the pulpit. He begins....dear friends, so-and-so was an active member of this church community since it's inception. He gave generously of his fortune...but I want you to know, he was an ungodly person. A manipulating, trouble-making, hard faced human being who showed no repentance despite many opportunities when he was counseled on the error of his ways. He was a horrible husband, treating his wife like a piece of property, and he lorded his fortune over everyone else, as well. He used his fortune for his good, not for god's, and he achieved that fortune by being the same type of miserable christian that I just described. However....
Compared to his brother....He was a Saint!
