Purchasing an Engagement Ring

cyinne

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What are some rules of thumb to follow?

Spend "x" months income? How do you decide your budget?
Shop at more than 1 store?
If you can't pay cash, how should you finance? What should a down-payment look like if so?
Do you need the jewelry insurance, or is this similar to the bogus warranties car salesmen try to push?
1) the x salary thing is dumb.... I bought my wife’s while I was still in college and Jared’s (yes I went to Jared’s) had an 18 month no interest on buys over $x amount (don’t remember what the amount was- it was 12 years ago) and that was a selling point for me to spread out the expense without adding interest.

2) now wife and I shopped around for stuff she liked but it was ultimately up to me to “build it”- really only seriously looked at Jared’s.

3) see #1

4) I opted in for the “extended lifetime warranty” and it’s probably the best “extras warranty” I have ever purchased. Covers cleanings and ring examinations for loose stones/prongs every 6 months. Wife’s ring had a loose prong and fixed it a couple times at no cost- probably have saved in ring repair 3x what i paid for the extra insurance. As for personal insurance for lost or stolen- that is a definite must!
 
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Tailg8er

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I had a good experience at Joseph's too. I believe their policy is that you can trade in the diamond for the paid amount if you're looking up upgrade down the road. I asked if there were some discounts available, named my employer and got 25% off the diamond. Also offered no interest payment plan, so I took advantage of that. Insured the ring through Jeweler's Mutual, and their premium was something simple like 1/100 of the value.

I went to Iowa Diamond. They have the same policy about trading it in towards something better. They also had zero interest financing.

OBVIOUSLY it's better to not finance if you can afford it, but don't let the CF millionaires get to you. They also believe you should never finance cars (and sometimes not even homes). I financed a chunk of mine & had it paid off by the time we got married. There are definitely worse things you can finance.
 
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jsb

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You are probably better off asking her what she'd like or asking her sister or friends. Pretty much everyone I know either gave their boyfriend an idea on what they wanted or had a designated friend who knew what was up.
 

clone34

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buy her a small ring first if she says yes buy her a nice ring. If she turns up her nose at the small ring run for the hills
 
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CycloneErik

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Nice idea with the proposal. Another area I'm currently debating on. Her mom passed away a few years back, and I've played around with the idea of taking her to the cemetery where she's buried and pulling the ring out next to her mom's grave.

I've had people tell me this is a great idea, but am aware it could also come off as a bit dark.

That would be the 2nd worst, or maybe worst, proposal I know of.
 
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CycloneErik

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Was the first worst proposing on a Gilligan's island style tour?

The worst that I've witnessed happened at an Olive Garden for Christmas.
Pale, frightened dude was all jittery, and I couldn't help but to peek over. Asked a waiter if that's what was going on. He said it was, and agreed to keep me posted. Turned out that whole section of the restaurant was watching that table.

Waiter brought out this huge box to their table. Dude encouraged his girl to open it, and it was filled with cake. He gave her a spoon to dig into it. She looks annoyed, but digs a bit, gets tired of it, and puts her spoon down.

Guy is a bit freaked, but he egged her into trying some more. She did, but this genius buried the ring box in the middle of this monster instead of the top. She was ticked by this process, put the spoon down and crossed her arms.

Guy gets a frantic burst of energy and starts digging on his own. He finally gets to the box, gets down on his knee and asks the question.

She looks away for what seemed like an hour (or a week to him), then held out her hand for the ring.

Blood came back to his face. He started to eat. Waiter came back to ask how things were going. She showed him the ring. Waiter turned around, clapped his hands and shouted "SHE SAID YES, EVERYBODY!!!!!"

We all applauded. They were horrified to realize that they were the night's entertainment.



Short version, too late: Don't bury the ring, kids. Just play it straight.
And, good Lord, don't propose in a cemetery.
 
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LoyalFawker

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So I recently got engaged this past year, when I went ring shopping I visited multiple shops to compare prices and deals. I was lucky and there happened to be a sale on engagement rings ending that day so I got 50% off. I know many people on here said don't finance but I think it totally depends on your financial situation, I was able to get 1 year interest free financing on the ring and just paid it off within the year (i'm bad at saving so this was a better option for me). If they ask you if you want any repair plan do it, for an extra 100$ I got the lifetime repair/replacement plan where they will clean, resize, repair, and replace any missing diamonds on the ring free of charge (She's had the ring for less than a year and has already taken advantage of this twice so it was totally worth it).
 

Cyinthenorth

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Thanks for the ring advice everybody. And for showing me I need to do a little more soul searching for a propsal idea :oops:
 

AgronAlum

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Thanks for the ring advice everybody. And for showing me I need to do a little more soul searching for a propsal idea :oops:

It doesn’t have to be ridiculous, just something heart felt.

My five year old went ring shopping with me and I told him that it was a surprise and he couldn’t tell my wife what we were doing. I told him to say we were at Home Depot because that’s a hobby of ours.

Immediately when she got home from work he told her “we have a surprise, but we can’t tell you. We were just going to Home Depot, right dad?”. She had been asking about a ring for a year and half so it didn’t take much coaxing for him to tell her when the two of them went to the farmers market the next day. She knew what was going on.

I ended up proposing when they got home the morning after I bought the ring. It wasn’t anything special, just in the kitchen of our house., but that’s all it needed. Don’t go elaborate, unless you know for sure she’s into that kind of thing. To be honest, if she wants to marry you, it won’t matter how you propose. Just hold out long enough that she’ll just be happy you finally did. :D

But I have very little input on the ring. I had good luck at Greenbergs in Ankeny but I had one made with a stone from my grandmas old ring so I got it on the cheap. Just remember you have to buy a wedding band to match. Them ***** ain’t cheap either.
 

Cyclone.TV

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It doesn't have to be over the top. Just figure out how you can make it a little special for her moment. Heck, it will already be special because the right guy is asking her.

Well that seems presumptuous.
 

BCoffClone125

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I had a girl at work tell me that some people will propose using a fake ring, and then go together to buy an engagement ring. That way she can buy something that she would like.

I told this to my girlfriends best friend and she said it was a really good idea and she liked it. I may go that route.

This is strategy that I used and it worked out very well for me. Proposed with a cheap "placeholder" ring that she could still wear, then we went to Iowa Diamond and picked out the real ring together. Honestly, it was a great experience because she got exactly what she wanted and we both knew what our budget was going in. I agree that not everyone would like this route (some people really like being surprised) but if you think your future fiance would then I can't recommend it enough.
 

HFCS

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My only advice is involve the girl you're going to ask. Better she be involved in a compromise of something she wants than to think you've found the unicorn woman who is truly happy with what you pick on your own.

For insurance if you have renters or home depending on your state you may be able to add the rings in at a very small increase. In Illinois I was able to get my wife's rings on our insurance very easily for hardly anything. In California I couldn't add them at all and the most well priced jewelry insurance was 3x what the small charge was in Illinois to add it to renters and home owner ins.
 

HFCS

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My friend confided with me that he spent $10k on a ring and $40k on a wedding.

Nope nope nope. I'll die alone. That's just so stupid

10K on the ring isn't as crazy as 40k on the wedding. We got married at a pretty pricy venue on the lakefront in Chicago and we found a way to make the wedding a small fraction of that price tag. If you're single or thinking of getting engaged I'd just ignore that, especially in Iowa.
 

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