***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 10-16-2019***

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GTO

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Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 10-16-2019
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ImJustKCClone asks: Why do I never see the question thread until at least 24 hours after closing?

GTO: KC, I think you may have forgotten to flip the hourglass a few times. ;)
Pants: I’ve heard reaction time decreases with age.

BCClone asks: Here is a non dumb question for next week. Why the heck is this in the football forums?

Pants: Typically, mailbags are posted in the forum of whatever sport is currently in progress. You all are the one that insist on taking it away from football. We just answer the questions asked of us.
GTO: Because we do not have a Mailbags forum. Next!

Cy$ with the observation: since this post: Broncos 2-0, Chiefs 0-2. Question for GTO and pants: Did Dandy curse the Chiefs?

GTO: Yes. Is it too late for Dandy to become a Hawkeye fan? She could be the new Vodka Sam.
Pants: Yes. Also, stay the hell away from my team because they’re off to an awesome start.

CySmurf with the classic question with an odd twist: Ginger, Mary Ann or Mrs. Howell?

Pants: Mary Ann. Mrs. Howell and Ginger are absolutely worthless when you’re stranded on an island. Not only is Mary Ann the best looking of them all, but she’s the most practical in what she can do to help with survival. I don’t know how this was ever a legitimate question as it’s such a no brainer.
GTO: I’ll answer this as a F/M/K. F - Ginger, M - Mary Ann, K - Mrs. Howell. I’d also like to comment that was a nice curveball adding Mrs. Howell in there due to there being a Mr. Howell. Is Mr. Howell into this type of kinky stuff? Would he need to be included in all “activities”? Weird scenario.

BCClone with one for the ladies: Gotta do one for the women, (hey, I’m male but want to see these guys work a little). Ross, Chandler, or Joey? It’s pretty obviously Rachel for the women on the show so no need to go there.

GTO: Agree with Pants that the correct pick was Monica. Never paid much attention to the dudes on that show, as they seemed pretty much interchangeable. On looks alone, I would also go Joey, Chandler, Ross.
Pants: Joey, Chandler, Ross. Also, Rachel isn’t the correct pick, it’s Monica. The show VERY clearly made it understood that she was an absolute freak in bed.

BCClone upon finding out @cyrocksmypants visited WV for the ISU game: Does Pants now have a strong affinity for his cousins?

Pants: The WVU people were absolutely the nicest opposing team fans I’ve ever met. We didn’t get but 20 feet from our parked car before people were offering us beer and drinks. And, while it wasn’t like Austin or anything, there were still some attractive girls there. But to the question, my cousins are either too old or too young, regardless of how they look. That said, if two consenting adult cousins want to bang, as long as they’re not procreating (because there’s actual health issues with that), then by all means, go for it, I don’t care.
GTO: I had a cousin take a run at me once. I had to turn her down, but it wasn’t easy. She was strong as an ox.
Pants: But was she hot?
GTO: This was at an outdoor extended family event. She was about 10 years older than me, could have used an upper lip waxing, and seemed a bit too comfortable dancing barefoot. Was she hot? Enough to make me think about it.
 

GTO

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BCClone with the head-scratcher: If you had your choice of flu season, would you rather:
1). Have diarrhea for three days
2). Be vomiting for 2 days.
Or
3). Have it coming out of both ends for a day?


GTO: I hate vomiting, so I guess it would be me taking three days off work for the (Butt)Fyre festival.
Pants: Be vomiting for 2 days. Great ab workout.

Doc with a question that seems to have an interesting backstory: What is the correct response for the next time someone asks you if a hot dog is a sandwich?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I hope you die in a ******* fire


Pants: If it’s a hot chick, I’d offer to hot dog her. But a hot dog isn’t a sandwich, unless you tear the bun in half.
GTO: Channeling my inner Zoey Deschanel: “Siri, is this a sandwich”? According to Google and Merriam-Webster, a hot dog IS a type of sandwich. They give the definition of sandwich as "two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between”. Do with that information what you may.

Cychhosis with a question that sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: Jamal, Brock, Seneca & Monte’ walk into a bar, the bartender says,” ___________”?

GTO: Ouch! That looked like it hurt!
Pants: Hi gentlemen.

Cyched with the weekly tradition of trying to stump the Insider Information mailbag crew: Why is a building called a building even after it's finished? Shouldn't it be called a built?

Pants: One is a verb, one is a noun. Two completely different things.
GTO: I’ll answer your question with a question: if the building process has not started, what do you call the prospective structure?

BCClone with a TV schedule question: Worst Ocho sport broadcast? I stand with spike ball, about 5 minutes and I turned the channel, wondered who would watch that.

GTO: I could do without the Cherry Pit Spitting Championships.
Pants: I haven’t had cable since like, 2013, so it’s been a while, but I guess spelling bees? Like, it’s kids just talking?
GTO: Don’t get me started on spelling bees. Wasn’t there an eight way tie in the last one? Supposedly they ran out of words to ask. I think at that point, they need to switch over to Urban Dictionary and make some of these nerds sweat for a bit.

CyclonesRock making us dust off the crystal ball: Over/Under on the number of times numbnuts announcers will call us "Iowa" or "Hawkeyes" for the remainder of the season.

Pants: Great username. 1.5. I actually think so far this season I’ve seen Hawkeye get called the Cyclones more than the other way around, which is refreshing.
GTO: It doesn’t bother me that we get called the Hawkeyes at times, since both teams are relatively irrelevant to people outside our conferences. However, I do enjoy how much it triggers the Hawk fans, as they think themselves a National brand for some dumb reason. My guess would be 4 more times (including bowl season).

Coolerifyoudid asks: Since Charlie Kolar played high school basketball with Trae Young, does this mean that announcers have officially moved on from the Niang/Noel bromance?

GTO: We’ll never be past the Niang/Noel narrative for as long as Fran Fraschilla announces games. For football, the Trae Young/Charlie Kolar has now officially replaced the Joel Lanning QB/LB story.
Pants: I don’t think so. If Kolar were a more high profile position like a WR, QB, RB or LB, maybe, but people just don’t really care about the TE position regardless of how talented they are.
 

GTO

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Mar 25, 2014
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Coolerifyoudid asks: Since you two had different viewing experiences, what were your favorite take-aways from Saturday's Morgantown victory?

Pants: The gimmee is Breece Hall. I said at the beginning of the season that if he can stop trying to move laterally so much, he’ll be a stud, and it seems like he’s starting to understand and accomplish that. It was nice to see us just really step on the necks of a team as well. I thought the route running efforts in the first half were REALLY bad and lazy, but there were some great second half adjustments that corrected that. Not just a take away from this week, but I’ve been very happy with our second half adjustments lately, really, since the Iowa game.
GTO: I was also thinking about half-time adjustments. Heacock has been an absolute master at shutting down opponents in the second half. The offense has also made nice adjustments, but not as big as what the defense has been doing. Other favorite takeaways: Breece Hall breaking away from the rest of the RBs, the re-appearance of La’Michael Pettway, Braxton Lewis stepping up, and flashes from our young receivers (Shaw, Scates).
Pants: For some reason your post made me remember, I’m REALLY happy to be seeing the re-emergence of Mike Rose. He’s kind of been back to his normal self these last two games after a tough start to the season.

Sigmapolis inquires: Starting lineup *next year* for basketball and football — 2020-2021, that is?
You do not have to assume there are no roster changes. Use your best judgment of reasonable outcomes for roster changes and recruiting, such as Haliburton leaving for the NBA, Xavier Foster committing (if he would be a starter as a true freshman), or Campbell targeting some graduate transfers for key positions of need next season. Use your best intuition, friends.
I know this is rank speculation at this point, but that is most of the fun! Thank you
.

GTO: Basketball - Grill, Steyer, Anderson, Schuster, Jacobson. Wait, that’s the McCaffery starting five :D In all seriousness: Bolton, Jackson, Leech, Solo, and Conditt. Football? You can’t be serious...
Pants: JFC (That’s not my response, but I’ll have to come back to this one, as it’s pretty much ******* homework. Is Sig even one of our Patrons on Patreon yet?)

VegasCy looking for us to put him at ease: I don’t know what to make of Texas Tech. Aided by 5 turnovers against OSU and they intercepted Brewer 3 times. Are they getting lucky on defense or is this a thing? ISU is a 7 point favorite, but this game makes me nervous. What say you?

Pants: Wells is a good coach, and more defensive minded than Texas Tech has probably had in decades. It’s probably a combination of a few things. OSU is hot or cold, and it’s not unheard of for them to just make a mess out of a game. This one doesn’t really make me nervous as much as OSU does. I expect to miss both, but OSU seems more like a team that can sometimes look unbeatable.
GTO: I think we win the game against Tech, but I am worried about who will be covering T.J.Vasher. Also, any chance Bowman will be back, or are we defending Duffey? Duffey is inconsistent as hell, but I do see him make some really nice throws from time to time. The OSU game I’m just not sure we can contain both Hubbard and Wallace. Sanders is a freshman, so hopefully we can pressure him into some mistakes. I think we win Tech by double digits and barely squeak by OSU.
Pants: I believe Bowman is out for the foreseeable future?

VegasCy asks: What games is Baylor going to lose this year?
@TCU Visitor
@OSU
Texas
Oklahoma


GTO: I think they lose to OU. The Texas game will be a barnburner that could go either way. They should breeze by the other two.
Pants: None. We’ll get a rematch with them in the Big 12 championship.
 

GTO

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Mar 25, 2014
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VegasCy with another question: I feel like this is the year in basketball where we will have to win games on defense if we want to compete. Ball screens, dribble drives, and rebounding have been the biggest complaints in years past. I think having Solo and MJ on the floor at the same time can improve 2 of the 3, if not all 3. It makes me nervous when I hear talk about playing a guard as a stretch 4. What are your thoughts on this knowing that whatever offense efficiency you gain, you probably lose on the defensive end?

Pants: I’m the kind of guy that’s okay trading defense to get offense, so I typically get less worried about defense than most posters on the board. And it doesn’t seem like Prohm is ever really wanting to put two bigs on the court at the same time. Solo MIGHT be serviceable as a four defensively, but Conditt and Jake both need to play the 5 defensively, as I don’t think either of them move their feet good enough to be able to defend Big 12 players at the 4 spot. It’ll honestly be interesting to see what Prohm does here, as I think this is the first time he’s gone in to a season knowing he’s got 3 good true bigs.
GTO: I think that if Prohm decides to run with two post players at the same time on the floor, he has to incorporate them in the offense to keep the other team’s defense honest. I’m skeptical of Prohm running two posts based on his history. However, if there was ever a year to force his hand it would be this year. Conditt can’t keep playing only 10 minutes a game, Solo is our best defender, and Jacobson helps stretch the floor at his position. If we somehow end up going with a stretch 4, I could see Griffin filling that role but I just don’t know if he is ready yet.

VegasCy trying for the record on number of consecutive questions on mailbag history: Was the pick 6 drive against WV as bad live as it was on TV?

GTO: Fast forward, overlay audio with Yakety Sax and pretty much that is what I saw. That ball took a weird high bounce off Kene’s hands and I even lost it for a second before I saw the WV player running it back. It was almost as if Kene dipped his hands in Flubber before the game.
Pants: I don’t know how it looked on TV, but it looked almost like a comedy routine live. It was like a slow motion scene from The Replacements or something. Not necessarily a play of great skill, more a play of an over the top skit. Luckily I was on the other end of the field and just sat down and shook my head.

NWICY asks: Yo Pants did you attend sunedogsc tailgate? Did you get "Deliveranced" by the natives? Those 2 questions are unrelated we all know sunedogsc is a superior tailgate host.
For both of you do we beat Taco Tech this wk? I say yes.



Pants: No butt raping. And we got there, but at the very end when he was packing up and getting ready to head in. We kept getting distracted. We stopped at the first tent about 20 feet from our car and got to chatting with them, as they kept offering us drinks. They were a blast, and one of them literally everyone (not just at their tailgate, but tailgates all over the place) knew one of them as “Uncle Bob” so that was great. Lots of people stopping and talking to us. Most of them completely trashed as we followed our “adopted friends” from tailgate to tailgate. We were going to go back after the game, but it was a long drive back, so we decided against it. And yes, my victory beard continues on with a win over Tech.
GTO: Glad Pants made it back unmolested.

Cmjh10 asks: Explain why @Angie is the bestest ever.

Pants: Well, she was my true love until she responded to this post and said you were her favorite. I’m very clearly heartbroken. GTO, please tag Angie in this so she can see what she’s done.
GTO: Angie is cool as hell. Bestest ever? I don’t know. I always picture her posting with Janny in the same room and that knocks her down a few points. I picture them like this:

ROmeLbvrbTstImw8RbbpAOZSknHTB6HsBwFErETifm9lIDquocrJTZlRqcEXeFxlary05FI9ufGd0JmlLx2GWOUcBRZ3C2MOIENERvwuKOs2tbMQhqes9cXZOhUT_1ZYkWeu8Nri



Cmjh10 with the follow up: I’m home alone all week this week, no dogs, no gf. How should I enjoy this wonderful experience?

Pants: Play some video games, check out some movies on Netflix you normally wouldn’t be able to. Honestly, just making yourself and no one else a really nice dinner always feels kind of good. Also, get the lotion ready and just have at for a week straight.
GTO: You know exactly what you’ll be doing. GF will leave the apartment, you will double check to make sure the door is locked. Then you’ll walk over to the window to confirm her car leaves the parking lot. I don’t need to tell you what’s next.
During downtime/cooldown periods, watch movies she usually doesn’t watch with you, order take out/pizza, go shoot some hoops, play video games until 4-5 in the morning, etc.
 
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GTO

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Madguy30 inquires: Piggyback: Over/under how many times an announcer says 'Brocktober' the next two weeks.

GTO: Too many times. They’re already jinxing us about not losing in October for the last two years and I’m afraid they will ruin Broctober as well.
Pants: 5. Nobody outside of CF knows what Brocktober is. Yet….

Coolerifyoudid stalking @jcyclonee asks: Is @jcyclonee disagreeing with this post (post about @Angie being the bestest ever) the best heel turn in CF history?

Pants: Angie is currently dead to me. (GTO, please tag Angie in this post as well.)
GTO: jcyclonee corrected his mistake before getting banned. Best heel turn on CF? CNE in the cave? Cychedelia/Cyber before getting banned the last time? I’m not sure, since many of the regulars here have been part of CF way longer than me.

Jcyclonee testing the mailbag storage capacity: I had these questions related to an answer from last week's mailbag. I've been anxiously waiting for 5 days and don't know if I can even stand to wait another 2.
Pants: I once saw a stripper in a robe at the Hip Hugger in Kokomo, Indiana. She was like, hot, but stripper hot, you know what I mean? She stole my tie clip.

I have tons of questions about this.
-Like, during a dance?
-Was she trying to do a trick like the one with the ping pong ball?
-Why were you wearing a tie clip?
-When in a strip club in Kokomo, do they just play that Beach Boys song on loop or do they play the same bad music they play at every strip bar? Not that I don't enjoy Pour Some Sugar on Me but it's not exactly Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
-Did the tie clip land on the floor and did you do the smart thing at that time and say, "Just keep it" while thinking to yourself "I ain't picking that thing up off of the Kokomo strip club floor."
-Was this the strip club in Indiana that Rick Pitino imported girls from for Louisville recruits? How lame are Louisville clubs that you prefer to import girls from Indiana? Like I have a right to talk. A certain unnamed football team from the state I currently reside in brought exotic dancers from a thousand miles away for a certain boat trip.
-Was this actually a parting gift after having a nice breakfast together?


Pants: 1. Sitting at the table having some drinks. Kokomo was in between my district and a buddy’s district at work, so sometimes we’d go the The Hugger after work. Being that we wore ties and such to work, we’d go to the bar in that garb. And when two dudes wearing suits or whatever walk into a strip club, the women flock to them, assuming they have money. And generally, the both of us enjoy just sitting and chatting with the ladies as we drink, and this was one of those times where we were all drinking together and chatting.
2. Unfortunately not doing a trick. She was trying to put her hair up all sexy for when she was about to go up and dance, so she took my tie clip and used it for her hair.
3. See above.
4. It was a pretty run down joint, but apparently had some popularity way back in like the 50s because some of the Rat Pack used to go there?
5. Never fell on the floor but I told her she could keep it because she was actually really attractive (for a stripper in Kokomo, Indiana.)
6. I doubt it. If I were to guess, that would probably be the Red Garter in Indianapolis, which I believe is also the place Tinsley had his little gun incident.
7. Man, I wish! Like I said, she was VERY attractive for a stripper. I’ll never forget Lily, she’ll always have a place in my heart.
GTO: Man, it’s probably been a good 15-20 years since I’ve been to a strip club. It was either Omaha, NE or Wichita, KS the last one I visited. I’m sure a lot has changed since then. Are lapdances still a thing? Regarding question #7, I have known people who dated strippers. That is a ****load of drama.
 
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GTO

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Coolerifyoudid asks: Excluding ISU and not taking into account the surrounding area, what CFB venue would you like to visit most for a game?
Same question with CBB.


GTO: For basketball, I’ve always been intrigued by Oregon’s court (would like to see that one up close). For football, I’m thinking The Big House at Michigan for an OSU game?
Pants: FB-The Coliseum for a USC/UCLA game would be super cool. For Basketball, probably Cameron Indoor for Duke/UNC? I’m honestly not much of a “storied venue” type of person when it comes to sporting events.

Jcyclone with another long question: @cyrocksmypants - While in West Virginia, did you try one of those pepperoni hot pocket-like things that people in West Virginia brag about? I know you don't eat meat but maybe they had an impossible pepperoni one.

Anyway, last time I was in New Orleans, I was sitting at a bar talking to a couple from Oregon, but the wife grew up in West Virginia. She used to work at Shoney's. Her husband and I decided that probably made her royalty in West Virginia. When you stopped and ate at all of the Shoney's in West Virginia, did they have a picture of a fairly attractive, blonde lady in a crown?


Pants: I think I just had a stroke.
GTO: Only in West Virginia would people brag about eating hot pockets. Regarding the second question: was your wife there, or was it just the three of you? There’s a fine line between swinging and cheating.

Jcyclonee trying to beat the clock: Does Jenn Sterger still go to Florida State? Is Brent Musberger going to be announcing the game?

GTO: I had no idea who Jenn Sterger was. Looked her up but didn’t need to do any additional research. Brent Musberger is still alive?
Pants: Always thought she was overrated. Kind of a weird looking face to me. Is Mushmouth still doing games?

Demoncore1031 asks: Who ends up leading ISU in rushing yards when the season is over and how many yards do you think that player will finish with?

Pants: Well, Breece Hall already leads the team after Saturday’s performance, so I’ll go with him with 790 yards, but Purdy will be close behind for second.
GTO: I’m going to say Breece Hall with close to 900 yards (including bowl game).

ImJustKCClone at the buzzer: Optimistic, BC? (regarding the brains vs. looks debate) Well, seriously - your wife had to see SOMEthing, right?

GTO: I think Mrs. BCClone saw a poor creature that could not survive on its own and decided to sacrifice herself and take care of him. The woman has to be a saint.
Pants: This is so strange to answer out of context and not be able to see what it pertains to. But yes, the comic B.C. tended to be fairly optimistic. And I’m no longer married, thanks for reminding me of that.
 
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GTO

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For next week's mailbag, We'll open for questions on Monday, but you'll actually have two full days for questions since @cyrocksmypants and I can only post it on Thursday next week instead of Wednesday. Don't go too crazy.
 

jcyclonee

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Minneapolis
GTO: Yes. Is it too late for Dandy to become a Hawkeye fan? She could be the new Vodka Sam.

Nice recovery. You were off your game in regards to this a week ago.

Pants: 1. Sitting at the table having some drinks. Kokomo was in between my district and a buddy’s district at work, so sometimes we’d go the The Hugger after work. Being that we wore ties and such to work, we’d go to the bar in that garb. And when two dudes wearing suits or whatever walk into a strip club, the women flock to them, assuming they have money. And generally, the both of us enjoy just sitting and chatting with the ladies as we drink, and this was one of those times where we were all drinking together and chatting.
2. Unfortunately not doing a trick. She was trying to put her hair up all sexy for when she was about to go up and dance, so she took my tie clip and used it for her hair.
3. See above.
4. It was a pretty run down joint, but apparently had some popularity way back in like the 50s because some of the Rat Pack used to go there?
5. Never fell on the floor but I told her she could keep it because she was actually really attractive (for a stripper in Kokomo, Indiana.)
6. I doubt it. If I were to guess, that would probably be the Red Garter in Indianapolis, which I believe is also the place Tinsley had his little gun incident.
7. Man, I wish! Like I said, she was VERY attractive for a stripper. I’ll never forget Lily, she’ll always have a place in my heart.

Thank you for answering all of my questions pertaining to this very important topic. Maybe, in the future, you'll get to make breakfast for a stripper.


GTO: Only in West Virginia would people brag about eating hot pockets. Regarding the second question: was your wife there, or was it just the three of you? There’s a fine line between swinging and cheating.

Just the three of us.

GTO: I had no idea who Jenn Sterger was. Looked her up but didn’t need to do any additional research. Brent Musberger is still alive?
Pants: Always thought she was overrated. Kind of a weird looking face to me. Is Mushmouth still doing games?

She does have a kind of weird face but this is why she's somewhat famous and will always be linked to Brent Musberger.

 
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jcyclonee

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For next week's mailbag, We'll open for questions on Monday, but you'll actually have two full days for questions since @cyrocksmypants and I can only post it on Thursday next week instead of Wednesday. Don't go too crazy.
Why are you biased against October 23? There's probably a good reason and I probably shouldn't ask the question.
 

Sigmapolis

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Results not typical. Individual results may vary.

It has been over four hours, @GTO. It still hasn't went down.

Fun story my wife told me...

When that happens, if it still won't go away, they have to get out a big old needle and take out the excess blood. Oftentimes just the threat takes care of it on its own.

:)
 
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jcyclonee

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Minneapolis
It has been over four hours, @GTO. It still hasn't went down.

Fun story my wife told me...

When that happens, if it still won't go away, they have to get out a big old needle and take out the excess blood. Oftentimes just the threat takes care of it on its own.

:)
giphy.gif


I never understood the 4 hour thing. That's just normal performance for me.
 
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Angie

Tugboats and arson.
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Cmjh10 asks: Explain why @Angie is the bestest ever.

Pants: Well, she was my true love until she responded to this post and said you were her favorite. I’m very clearly heartbroken. GTO, please tag Angie in this so she can see what she’s done.
GTO: Angie is cool as hell. Bestest ever? I don’t know. I always picture her posting with Janny in the same room and that knocks her down a few points. I picture them like this:

ROmeLbvrbTstImw8RbbpAOZSknHTB6HsBwFErETifm9lIDquocrJTZlRqcEXeFxlary05FI9ufGd0JmlLx2GWOUcBRZ3C2MOIENERvwuKOs2tbMQhqes9cXZOhUT_1ZYkWeu8Nri

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I said one of my favorites. I didn't say "TLF" with heart symbols or anything there, @cyrocksmypants . Slow your roll, chief. If have seventeen kids and you tell them all that they are "one of your favorites," is that the same? (I don't say it to everyone on here, so that's not exactly applicable, just explaining it to Mr. Hyperbole.)

I am horrified by that image! We're usually either not in the same building when we're posting, or in different organizations. Generally I have my laptop off at home, and posting on my phone gives me a headache!
 
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GTO

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Are you travelling some place cool?

If you are in New Orleans, I highly recommend Lucy's Retired Surfer's Bar for conversation about West Virginia royalty.
Nowhere cool. Heading to Louisville, KY, have a business review the following morning, and then flying back. Working on having all of my presentation ready to go.
 

GTO

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Mar 25, 2014
28,005
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North DFW, TX
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I said one of my favorites. I didn't say "TLF" with heart symbols or anything there, @cyrocksmypants . Slow your roll, chief. If have seventeen kids and you tell them all that they are "one of your favorites," is that the same? (I don't say it to everyone on here, so that's not exactly applicable, just explaining it to Mr. Hyperbole.)

I am horrified by that image! We're usually either not in the same building when we're posting, or in different organizations. Generally I have my laptop off at home, and posting on my phone gives me a headache!
If it makes you feel any better, I also picture @CycloneErik and @cyrevkah to post the same way on CF.
 
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