Friday OT #1 - Emily Posting

[Angie]

Thanks so much to @mapnerd for this idea! Essentially, it's about Facebook and social media etiquette. What do you find especially rude on social media, and what do you do that you fear might be rude?

I usually try to let posters post their own examples that they send me, but @mapnerd 's example here is so good that I can't top it at all:

One of my friends posted a BS story, so I just commented with a link to a more reputable source. No explanation from me, just a link. Am I an *******? Should we be doing this? Should I have not said anything at all? Is the person inviting discussion by posting that story? It was a very emotional topic and the source was obviously biased and said stuff that was blatantly false. Do you have the right to post anything on your wall whether it's true or not? Maybe I should have just reported it and said nothing, but that doesn't always get removed by FB. Basically I just want confirmation from the CF brain trust that I am not an *******

I usually Snopes things that are egregiously false or misleading, and also don't give a lot of preamble. Are we jerks for this? What do you see/do that is jerkish?

 

[mj4cy]

Good topic. Couple things for me:

1. I may come off as a jerk, but I simply just don't do causes and don't join random groups or follow along with chain-games ect. Sorry just don't want to. Someone challenged me to post something I was thankful for every day of November last year and I just ignored it.

2. I can't stand people who are cryptic just because they want attention. Example "well...that sucked...why me...alway me"

 

[throwittoblythe]

Thanks so much to @mapnerd for this idea! Essentially, it's about Facebook and social media etiquette. What do you find especially rude on social media, and what do you do that you fear might be rude?

I usually try to let posters post their own examples that they send me, but @mapnerd 's example here is so good that I can't top it at all:

One of my friends posted a BS story, so I just commented with a link to a more reputable source. No explanation from me, just a link. Am I an *******? Should we be doing this? Should I have not said anything at all? Is the person inviting discussion by posting that story? It was a very emotional topic and the source was obviously biased and said stuff that was blatantly false. Do you have the right to post anything on your wall whether it's true or not? Maybe I should have just reported it and said nothing, but that doesn't always get removed by FB. Basically I just want confirmation from the CF brain trust that I am not an *******

I usually Snopes things that are egregiously false or misleading, and also don't give a lot of preamble. Are we jerks for this? What do you see/do that is jerkish?

I'm passive-aggressive with my responses. If it's egregious, I will respond with reputable articles correcting the error. Though, sometimes, I just report it to FB and let it be.

A friend of mine is more of an instigator. She will set fire to a post/discussion with a comment, then turn off notifications and go to bed.

 

[Angie]

Good topic. Couple things for me:

1. I may come off as a jerk, but I simply just don't do causes and don't join random groups or follow along with chain-games ect. Sorry just don't want to. Someone challenged me to post something I was thankful for every day of November last year and I just ignored it.

2. I can't stand people who are cryptic just because they want attention. Example "well...that sucked...why me...alway me"

I don't know if guys get this as much, but it drives me CRAZY when people add me to their MLM scheme groups without asking, trying to get me to buy fake fingernails or Norwex or whatever.

 

[Angie]

I'm passive-aggressive with my responses. If it's egregious, I will respond with reputable articles correcting the error. Though, sometimes, I just report it to FB and let it be.

A friend of mine is more of an instigator. She will set fire to a post/discussion with a comment, then turn off notifications and go to bed.

That is bold, and I love it!

 

[madguy30]

What I found to be rude was the tag feature on FB. I know that I could go in and delete the 'tag' as soon as I checked FB, but until then it would be out there. Then people like co-workers that were friends of my FB friends, but not my FB friend, would see me tagged on there and know my personal business. Not that I had anything crazy out there, but it was unnerving to know my personal life could be 'documented' without my controlling it. I could go out to dinner or something, and get tagged, and then those people would see that and could easily assume that I was out at the bars on a work night or something.

I would even ask some people that were 'super posters' to stop tagging me and their addiction for attention didn't stop them. Then I would delete them from my friends list, and then get confronted about it and have to explain again why I didn't like it. The WEIRD thing was how people didn't understand how that's a breach of privacy, although to be fair it's literally what you sign up for when you get an account.

For weird posts--the weird thing to me was I had a few real-life friends that would post weird things that seemed pretty extreme but if we saw each other in real life, it was nothing like that at all and even if we had a conversation that would be 'confrontational' it would be generally civil.

Long story short: social media is bad and my etiquette was to delete FB.

 

[mapnerd]

This is also the reason that I'm not friends with my family members on FB. I am pretty different politically from my parents, so I don't want to start a family fight on social media for everyone to see. On the other hand, I can almost guarantee that my dad reposts a bunch of garbage, so is it my duty to call him out on it? If we ignore these things they don't go away. I hate being the FB Police. It's especially difficult right now when it seems there is an avalanche of BS.

 

[cyhiphopp]

Politics on FB has caused me to unfriend a few people. They weren't big losses though.

I keep FB around to follow my friends from college and see how their kids are and such.

A few years ago was my 20th highschool reunion and at that time a whole bunch of people from my HS joined my friends list. I didn't even end up going to the reunion because when I think back, there were only a handful of people who I graduated with that I actually missed. All the popular clique ignored me almost entirely.
For some reason I still have a lot of them on my Facebook. No idea why. Some of the crap they post annoys me to no end.

I have one "friend" from college who was normal when I knew her. Went to bars, was funny and nice. Now she's a total Jesus freak who home schools her kids and posts right wing anti-liberal crap. I asked a question on one of her posts about how she could vote for Steve King as a Christian. She said the liberals are trying to get rid of Jesus or some other crap but ignored the self professed white supremacist. I just ignore her mostly now.

 

[SCyclone]

I understand the benefits of social media, but did no one stop to think of the consequences of a wide open forum? The vixen is all over Facebook - a lot - and she really enjoys it. At least until someone posts some BS about politics, or goes on a hateful, profanity-laden rant, or tears down something she passionately believes in.

I won't get her to stop - that ship sailed a long time ago - but I sure wish she could learn to accept these things and move on. More stress in her life, she doesn't need.

There was a really good piece on-line yesterday about the workings of a professional football team, and how that ethic sets a good example for the world at large. You have a fairly wide selection of adults, from all kinds of backgrounds and situations, and they all accept each other because they understand the good of a common goal.

I think despite the conflict in our country, we all have some common goals, and it is incumbent on all of us to work together toward those goals. Unfortunately social media seems to be making that much harder.

 

[cyhiphopp]

This is also the reason that I'm not friends with my family members on FB. I am pretty different politically from my parents, so I don't want to start a family fight on social media for everyone to see. On the other hand, I can almost guarantee that my dad reposts a bunch of garbage, so is it my duty to call him out on it? If we ignore these things they don't go away. I hate being the FB Police. It's especially difficult right now when it seems there is an avalanche of BS.

Ugh. That's the worst. I would just drop a verified source refuting his claim and then walk away. Don't argue, just post the verified truth.

I've done that a few times on posts that were just ridiculously false.

 

[JM4CY]

CF is the only “social media” this guy needs.

 

[cyhiphopp]

I understand the benefits of social media, but did no one stop to think of the consequences of a wide open forum? The vixen is all over Facebook - a lot - and she really enjoys it. At least until someone posts some BS about politics, or goes on a hateful, profanity-laden rant, or tears down something she passionately believes in.

I won't get her to stop - that ship sailed a long time ago - but I sure wish she could learn to accept these things and move on. More stress in her life, she doesn't need.

There was a really good piece on-line yesterday about the workings of a professional football team, and how that ethic sets a good example for the world at large. You have a fairly wide selection of adults, from all kinds of backgrounds and situations, and they all accept each other because they understand the good of a common goal.

I think despite the conflict in our country, we all have some common goals, and it is incumbent on all of us to work together toward those goals. Unfortunately social media seems to be making that much harder.

Are there certain people she follows that dramatically increase her stress?
There's a feature on FB where you can unfollow someone without unfriending them. So you won't see crap they post unless you are tagged in it and they won't know because you are still friends with them.
Try and get the Vixen to do that or if you want to be sneaky, get on her profile and do it for her own good.

Just an idea.

 

[cyhiphopp]

CF is the only “social media” this guy needs.

I'm better friends with people on CF that I've met a few times, or not at all than I am with people I went to HS with.

 

[BCClone]

What is rude is Facebook and the rest of the ilk. I consider CF not a true social media, so I don’t know if I’m considered to be on social media or not.

With so much crap on the internet it has become apparent that what is the “truth” can be a handful of things due to this. It is also obvious that many people may read a post, but make no effort to comprehend it. Many times the buttons that can be clicked (agree, dislike, and such) makes it easier to blow off someone who has presented a good argument/statement but the person doesn’t want to have to contend with saying why they think it’s off so they just hit the dislike button and not try to have an intelligent discussion.

I consider the icons to be passive aggressive and people will tell you there isn’t much that is passive with me. I’ve taught that to my kids also. They have learned to discuss their thoughts/beliefs and stand for themselves while not name calling or going personal on them (which to me is the most cowardly thing you can do). Better to have people openly hate you then to have them badmouth you behind your back.

 

[wxman1]

The unfollow button on FB and Twitter is your friend.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

I have no problem with swearing (not in front of kids or in a disrespectful way), but I have issues with people that have to have a trail of expletives in a Facebook post.

I'm not sure if this is really rude, but I deleted my birthday in FB for two reasons. 1) I wanted to see if my SIL would remember it since she loves to guilt trip us for forgetting anything. She didn't remember. 2) I haven't cared about celebrating my birthday in a long time and having random people that barely know wish me a happy birthday seemed odd to me. My wife thinks it's a big deal, but I don't even care a little.

 

[cowgirl836]

I don't know if guys get this as much, but it drives me CRAZY when people add me to their MLM scheme groups without asking, trying to get me to buy fake fingernails or Norwex or whatever.

I pocket dialed/watched someone's story last week and must have answered a poll saying "yes, please tell me about your health and wellness whatever the hell it was" and then she was messaging me and I was trying to blame it on my toddler. Then she asked how I was doing and if I were hit by the derecho when I clearly live out of state. I just ghosted. I know you're only talking to try and engage me in whatever mlm shiz you do

 

[VeloClone]

I tend to consider myself a moderate politically. I don't like to discuss politics and I certainly don't like to discuss it on a social media. I am an extremely infrequent user of FB, but I have blocked and am prepared to block others on both extremes of the political spectrum who find that FB is more about being a political soapbox and less about connecting with people who you can't regularly see in person. We have one acquaintance who is a hard right conservative and constantly posts a ton of crap about COVID and Trump. But if you are not a business owner (she isn't by the way) and not a military family (her husband is a veteran) you don't have a voice in the topic according to her. If anyone challenges or so much as mildly disagrees with her, she and her posse of friends attack them relentlessly. I used to think she was an okay person. I now think of her as a despicable human being.

 

[VeloClone]

I have no problem with swearing (not in front of kids or in a disrespectful way), but I have issues with people that have to have a trail of expletives in a Facebook post.

I'm not sure if this is really rude, but I deleted my birthday in FB for two reasons. 1) I wanted to see if my SIL would remember it since she loves to guilt trip us for forgetting anything. She didn't remember. 2) I haven't cared about celebrating my birthday in a long time and having random people that barely know wish me a happy birthday seemed odd to me. My wife thinks it's a big deal, but I don't even care a little.

I deleted my birthday as well. I use the forum so infrequently that I miss a lot of people's birthdays. Then I feel like a schmuck when a whole bunch of people wish me a happy birthday.

I also have never downloaded the messenger app thing so I get message notifications periodically but I never see the messages. Again, I'm not on there very often so if you want to talk to me directly email, text, or - God forbid - call me. Some people still don't get it and those same few send me messages again and again that I never see.

 

[CYdTracked]

I have a few main rules I follow when posting anything to FB:

1. No politics - I dont post anything political and I refrain from responding to anything my friends post that are political. More times than not anything political eventually turns into arguments so I stay out of it

2. Dont post anything you don't want your employer or family to see - Basically if you have to think twice about the content you probably should not post it.

3. Keep it positive - I'm generally a happy and positive person and I see way too many angry and hateful posts on FB so if it's not something positive I am.not going to add to the negative culture on social media