"Dumbest" Accidental Injury

[inCyteful]

Back in my farming days - dad had put the anhydrous applicator and tank in the shed. Valve wasn't completely closed so guess who gets to run in, shut off the valve and run back out.

Everything was fine as I did my commando imitation, dodging machinery, holding my breath as I ran to the tank. Anhydrous started getting to me on the way out causing me to tear up. Had my seed corn hat on and got up to a full sprint approaching the door - where the applicator was sitting (30 ft with fold up wings).

Seems one of the applicator knife was at forehead level and just above the bill of my hat.

Forehead met knife at full speed and laid me out cartoon style on the cement floor.

Woke up just in time for 8 stitches and a concussion.

Suggested to dad next time we open up doors on both ends instead.

 

[LindenCy]

Nice job, Perry.

Probably was the avatar. Have to fix that.

 

[VeloClone]

Probably was the avatar. Have to fix that.

Someone with skills should try to morph that photo with one of Perry the platypus.

 

[cycloner29]

sliced my head open in college after a dorm party. Wanted so bad to go to Donutland, but friends hauled me to Mary Greeley. Receptionist asked what happened, my response "uh... I got hurt?" as the bloody towel I had on my head fell into her lap. 12 stitches later they took me for donuts. The guy next to me in the ER was a little worse off... stab wound with blood all over the floor. I sobered up pretty fast after that!!

 

[VeloClone]

sliced my head open in college after a dorm party. Wanted so bad to go to Donutland, but friends hauled me to Mary Greeley. Receptionist asked what happened, my response "uh... I got hurt?" as the bloody towel I had on my head fell into her lap. 12 stitches later they took me for donuts. The guy next to me in the ER was a little worse off... stab wound with blood all over the floor. I sobered up pretty fast after that!!

I hope you complained when the were going to take care of him first. "Hey, wait a minute! I got here 5 minutes before that guy!"

 

[xboxfever]

The thread title reminded me of this...

 

[Die4Cy]

Broke my leg Thursday afternoon, had plate and five screws applied Saturday, just got home from hospital yesterday.

Not a good story, just slipped and fell.

 

[carvers4math]

Broke my leg Thursday afternoon, had plate and five screws applied Saturday, just got home from hospital yesterday.

Not a good story, just slipped and fell.

Hope you heal quickly. Just tell people you ran into the street to save a small child or kitten or something and got hit by a car.:spinny:

 

[SaraV]

After taking 15 minutes to make my original mobile post, and SOMEONE "accidentally" closed the thread before I could complete it...

:wink:

- Our family was helping a family from our church move...I was 12 or 13. During the obligatory pizza break, the kids decide to play tag. I'm it, chasing the moving family's oldest son. He runs behind the moving van, going wide. I decide to cut closer around the van...I forgot the ramp was still down. I smack my shin, trip and clear the ramp, but land on my feet. HUGE goose egg on my shin, though.

-Odd/stupidity. Most people here know that I have long legs. So I'm watching TV, lying on my on the couch. My husband is out picking up dinner. He comes home and lightly kicks the door so I can let him in. (Full hands) Now, in front of the couch by my feet is a small table, about the height of the cushions, and it has a tall, empty glass on it. I go to get up, simultaneously bending at my waist and bringing my right leg up as so not to knock the glass over, my eyes still on the TV.

I kneed myself in the right eye. I yelp, then get up to open the door for my bewildered husband. I was both relieved and slightly disappointed that I didn't get a black eye.

 

[theantiAIRBHG]

I bite the inside of my cheek chewing gum all the time. It really hurts.

I didn't know Kirk Ferentz posted on CF.

 

[Cyfan4good]

Most of mine involve sharp blades but the worst was trying to strip the insulation off heavy wiring with an exacto type knife. It slipped and cut across the top of my thumb. It cut half way through the tendon so I ended up in a cast that kept my thumb bent up and unmovable for six weeks so the tendon could heal.

 

[cycloner29]

one of those slice and dice kitchen utensils... slicing potatoes and the next thing I know my index finger feels warm. I look in the bowl and their is a 1/4" of my finger in it. I could see the blood pumping out at each heartbeat.

 

[JHUNSY]

In high school my friend and I crawled under the wrestling mats while the class was listening to a relaxation soundtrack in the wrestling room. It was really dark and the PE teacher (now retired) was on the other end of the room where there was a little light.

At first we crawled under so only our legs were under the mat, but we dug in deeper. We ended up managing to get seperated and I decided to get back out. Unfortunately, we had both gotten disoriented and thought the other was out. I could hear laughing, which I later found out was from people laughing at my friend who somehow found his way to the MIDDLE OF THE ******* WRESTLING MAT. I was panicking because it was getting hard to breathe (these mats are very heavy when you're under them. I found some light because of the tape that connected two mats together and there was a little hole where I could stick my mouth to get some fresh air.

My friend somehow found his way out (didn't know this) while I just sat there and came to terms with death (I'm not joking). I was picturing the news headlines "Two high school students die from suffocating under wrestling mat mats." My friend got out just as the PE teacher saw what was going on. I didn't even care that people would know I was stupid. My friend ripped the wrestling mat so I could get out and the instructor started yelling at me (I didn't care, I was just happy to be alive). I found out that I was only 3 feet away from where the mat ended.

Looking back I should've followed the tape but I wasn't thinking clearly in my state of panic. It's extremely hard to move once you get deep into those mats. The scariest part was our voices being muffled so no once could hear us call for help.

I'm an idiot.

tl;dr: Thought I was going to die under a wrestling mat

Those things are pretty damn heavy. I'll never forget when our PE teacher made me and a few other guys spend the whole class moving those instead of participating in whatever the class was doing. This required going through a lockeroom and putting them in a separate workout room.

Anyways, time flew by and the next thing you know as we were pulling some of the last mats through it just so happened to already be the last few minutes of class and girls were in there changing as we barged in with these things.

That was a fun moment when our teacher just laughed off the awkwardness instead of apologizing for causing the mix up. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed though between us or the girls considering we were sweating our ***** off and were visually exhausted.

 

[wxman1]

The most recent occurrences happened a couple of weeks ago...

On Friday night I was burning some stuff in our fire pit and used a stick to take the top off. Less than a minute later without thinking I attempted to pick it up with my fingers. That lasted about a millisecond but long enough to get close to a second degree burn on a couple of fingers. I immediately put them under the faucet outside before going in and putting them on corn and what not. Did that for a couple of hours and they still hurt pretty bad when not on corn or peas so I started googling and found out that cortisone cream helps. I didn't have any pain after that.

The following night we are fast asleep and the dog wakes me up. About 30 seconds later I heard light knocking...then more about a minute later...and then more. So then I know that I am not hallucinating in the middle of the night. I got up and grabbed a 3 inch knife that I keep in my bed stand to make myself feel better. I look around and don't see anything outside but I turned on a light and my wife said she heard the back screen door close. So I called the police and asked them to search the area. About a half hour later they finally show up and knock on our door. I stupidly put the knife open and sticking up in my pocket. Talk to the cop and then reach in for the knife...and stuck it right into my palm. I got the bleeding to stop after about five minutes but the damage was done.

Long story short in the span of one weekend I burned a couple of fingers and stabbed myself in the other hand.

 

[Cyclonesrule91]

Anyone who likes a post in this thread is twisted......just saying.

When I was in college three buddies and I decide to go road tripping with a case of beer. We decided that we would bust sign posts on the way home .....stupid I know.... anyway, the last one we stop at was a sign on a 4 x 6 post and I have beer muscles flowing pretty strong. I get out and start pushing it over. It was tough but apparently there was a knot in the post about knee level and it snapped coming back and cracked the ball of my femur and knee cap. That hurt like a mother... And it was stupid but no stop signs were taken out.

 

[NWICY]

In grade school (probably 2nd) we had the chairs that were free from the desk, the classroom had the old steel radiators with the ridges, leaning back on two legs go all the way over cracked my head against the radiator ended up with stitches from that. Also got stitches in the back of my head playing football on the playground in about 7th grade.

 

[ISUcyclones11]

In grade school (probably 2nd) we had the chairs that were free from the desk, the classroom had the old steel radiators with the ridges, leaning back on two legs go all the way over cracked my head against the radiator ended up with stitches from that. Also got stitches in the back of my head playing football on the playground in about 7th grade.

Playground football was awesome! Wouldn't be surprised if they didn't let kids do that any more. I remember recess rules being rather pathetic, and I'm sure they're worse now.

My brother said Ankeny won't allow dodgeball in PE any more. Apparently it's "discriminatory".

 

[MeanDean]

Those things are pretty damn heavy. I'll never forget when our PE teacher made me and a few other guys spend the whole class moving those instead of participating in whatever the class was doing. This required going through a lockeroom and putting them in a separate workout room.

Anyways, time flew by and the next thing you know as we were pulling some of the last mats through it just so happened to already be the last few minutes of class and girls were in there changing as we barged in with these things.

That was a fun moment when our teacher just laughed off the awkwardness instead of apologizing for causing the mix up. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed though between us or the girls considering we were sweating our ***** off and were visually excited.

Read this hilariously wrong the first time. Above is how I thought it was.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

In grade school (probably 2nd) we had the chairs that were free from the desk, the classroom had the old steel radiators with the ridges, leaning back on two legs go all the way over cracked my head against the radiator ended up with stitches from that. Also got stitches in the back of my head playing football on the playground in about 7th grade.

And all this time I thought you were an urban myth meant to deter kids from leaning back in their chairs. I'm glad to hear that you got better after dying on that fateful day.

 

[MeanDean]

My father, who had a finger in (too) many endeavors, decided he could be a part time farmer. He purchased some marginal/hilly farm land in Illinois (about 20 miles from the IA border) and some old farm equipment and went about it. We lived about 15 miles into Iowa from the IL border. Picture a poorly dressed Oliver Wendell Douglas but without the Lincoln and sexy Hungarian wife.

A week or so before 8th grade we kids are dragged over there to walk beans. I'm given a sickle to chop gypsum (sp?) weeds - some up to about 2" in diameter. So, I'm chopping away and getting more tired as the day goes along. Started really wailing on the weeds so they'd fall with one chop each. (You see this coming, right?) I take a ginormous swing at a weed and missing completely I slice open my left leg on the outside just above the ankle.

I hop to the driveway along the field and am shrieking like a contestant who's name just got called on the Price is Right. The blood is spurting out onto the dirt with every heartbeat. I'm quite convinced I'm going to bleed to death - or at least have the bottom of my leg amputated.

My Dad finally comes over to investigate. Pulls his snot-filled handkerchief out and tells me to put in on the injury. He's ******, 'cause now instead of getting farm work done he's got to take me for doctoring. He's half convinced I did it on purpose to get out of working. He then puts all the equipment away and we FINALLY head toward Iowa; me thinking he will surely stop at the emergency room at Muscatine General once we cross the river. But no, we continue back to our house. By then the bleeding has at least subsided. He calls the doctor in Lone Tree (another 10 miles away) to meet us at his office and then totes me over there. Fourteen stitches and the cut was literally 1/2 way around my leg then (seems smaller now as I grew up and filled out).

(Edit: surprised to see the synonym for "urinated" is censored.)