Who wrote the marital rights laws in Iowa?

Now how about the other scenario?
For me personally if I married someone who makes even half my salary I'd be better off financially. That half would more than cover the cost of 2 kids, highest tax bracket would be the same but less would be taxed at it, regular utility and mortgage bills would stay essentially the same.
 
Well the rate of divorce is above 50 percent. People also tend to get petty in divorces and take things to the extreme. There are some people that use it as a meal ticket and never planned to go until death do them part. Infidelity, bad financial behaviors, on and on.
If you don't have a prenup then everything is pretty much fair game in a divorce settlement and if kids are involved it will likely be even more complicated. Have heard of stories where both parties were reasonable and just came to a settlement on everything with little argument because they just wanted it to be over with and closed and others that were just flat out nasty and drawn out for a long period of time because 1 party wanted certain things.

One friend of mine when he went through a divorce both him and his now ex wife started doing petty things like turning off credit cards, running up huge bills, and moving money out of accounts into their own personal accounts that neither could touch. They have kids too so they not only were causing harm to themselves financially playing those games but also trying to use their kids as leverage too. Had another friend go through the exact opposite with his divorce, did not have kids yet and he and his ex basically split everything fairly and whatever possessions they had at the time they signed it was theirs. So they both essentially wound up with things the other person might have wanted back but was just easier not to nit pick and fight over physical possessions. A couple years later her parents called him asking if they could get a piece of furniture back as supposedly it was a family heirloom. He was a nice guy agreed he would give it to them with the caveat that this would be a 1 time only thing. If she or them asked for anything else after that he would either want some compensation or have something of his returned to him.
 
Now how about the other scenario?
You can always be married and file separately if your math works out that way. The additional income more then offsets the additional 3% tax from moving to a higher bracket.

While you could also file for some legal domestic partnership instead of marriage the simple fact is that anything you do together is much easier once you are married.

You can also always do a pre or even a post nup if you really have concerns. The post nup is starting to get more common now but I think everyone should have a well written and thought out prenup
 
This state has some ****** up laws.


All states do and if anyone has been through a divorce, it's crazy lopsided against males. I am not doing a poor me thing even though my ex took me to the cleaners in our divorce (Money Wise). My female attorney basically said it, dude you are screwed because the laws don't like men in divorce, even when it's not their fault. She said luckily don't live in California or they would issue you a lifetime of alimony. I had to pay three years of alimony and child support. Even though I got 50/50 on my kids. Which I paid but also it makes no sense at all.
 
BTW OP your friend is kind of an idiot. When I was going through my divorce I had to have my wife sign off that I could take a bartending gig that would not count toward child support. It was either that or I was gonna not take the job. It was just a job for fun but I didn't want it to increase my child support and it was possible it put me in a higher tax bracket. So I could have ended up losing money by taking the job. I explained it to her and she allowed me to get the job without going after more money. Dude should have known his ex was gonna come after everything. He should have had it signed off on.
 
BTW OP your friend is kind of an idiot. When I was going through my divorce I had to have my wife sign off that I could take a bartending gig that would not count toward child support. It was either that or I was gonna not take the job. It was just a job for fun but I didn't want it to increase my child support and it was possible it put me in a higher tax bracket. So I could have ended up losing money by taking the job. I explained it to her and she allowed me to get the job without going after more money. Dude should have known his ex was gonna come after everything. He should have had it signed off on.
Why would anyone want to get married? This is madness
 
Why would anyone want to get married? This is madness


Oh I never will again. It's a terrible idea to be honest. I understand when you are young you kind of get caught up in it and get married. Any male who has been married once and it don't work out, then get's married again must be insane. That is the only thing I can really think of when I see guys getting married again. Ohhh losing half of everyting you have worked for was not enough one time and you are gonna do it again? Ummm no not for me.
 
All states do and if anyone has been through a divorce, it's crazy lopsided against males. I am not doing a poor me thing even though my ex took me to the cleaners in our divorce (Money Wise).
Yep, seen it 100's of times. If your spouse is staying home with the kids as homemaker you've essentially guaranteed you will also be required support them even if they decide to leave you. I've had men crying in my office they were working 50-60 hour weeks to be the sole provider with the benefit of knowing their wife and kids are home; then realizing they have to do the same thing just to stay afloat after wife filed divorce and won custody of the kids.
 
Oh I never will again. It's a terrible idea to be honest. I understand when you are young you kind of get caught up in it and get married. Any male who has been married once and it don't work out, then get's married again must be insane. That is the only thing I can really think of when I see guys getting married again. Ohhh losing half of everyting you have worked for was not enough one time and you are gonna do it again? Ummm no not for me.
Or, hear me out, 40 year olds are much different and more mature than 25 year olds and it's completely possible to find a person whose life and outlook on life fits better with your's now that you've gotten to know yourself better.
 
Marital / Divorce / Custody laws in Iowa favor the wife. There is no question about that, and any experienced family law attorney will tell you that.

However, in this case, pretty dumb move by your buddy to buy that place without anything protecting himself. When I bought a condo after my wife and I split, the bank had a contract that I had to get my soon to be ex to sign to specifically prevent this situation before they would approve the loan.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: wxman1 and Drew0311
Or, hear me out, 40 year olds are much different and more mature than 25 year olds and it's completely possible to find a person whose life and outlook on life fits better with your's now that you've gotten to know yourself better.
I hear that. Got married super young (19 yo) in a highly religious situation. Ex and I figured out we just weren't a good fit about 10 years and one child later. Divorce went very smoothly, and coparenting has been successful. I've read that statistically the younger you get married, the higher the chance for divorce.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: 1UNI2ISU
Marital / Divorce / Custody laws in Iowa favor the wife. There is no question about that, and any experienced family law attorney will tell you that.

However, in this case, pretty dumb move by your buddy to buy that place without anything protecting himself. When I bought a condo after my wife an I split, the bank had a contract that I had to get my soon to be ex to sign to specifically prevent this situation before they would approve the loan.
Yeah, surprised the bank didn't red flag this guy too. A lot of places won't even loan if the financial situation isn't vetted.
 
Or, hear me out, 40 year olds are much different and more mature than 25 year olds and it's completely possible to find a person whose life and outlook on life fits better with your's now that you've gotten to know yourself better.


Orrr hear me out. Here are real stats

Yes. Statistically, the divorce rate climbs with each consecutive union. While about 41-50% of first marriages end in divorce, the failure rate jumps to roughly 60% for second marriages and over 70% for third marriages.


So being older does not make it more likely you stay together. It actually makes it a lot more unlikely
 
  • Agree
Reactions: BWRhasnoAC
Or, hear me out, 40 year olds are much different and more mature than 25 year olds and it's completely possible to find a person whose life and outlook on life fits better with your's now that you've gotten to know yourself better.
Ya I tell myself that. Believe me as a 41 year old single never married man, dating is BRUTAL in modern culture.