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I’m an introvert, do I need help?

clonedude

clonedude

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2006
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I’m a big time introvert…. is that okay??

Any kind of social gathering of any kind, and I’m just anxious and stressed out and would like to crawl into a hole and disappear. Even family gatherings too when I know everyone.

But then you see all these studies about how everyone needs social interaction, and being a loner is not healthy at all.

But I’m perfectly happy when I’m alone. I read somewhere that there’s a big difference between being alone, and being lonely. I’m definitely not lonely at all. Thoughts?
 
Sounds like social anxiety more than just being an introvert. I used to struggle with the same thing (in college, which is kind of ironic and unfortunate). I'd recommend talking to a therapist, who can either help you come up with strategies for overcoming the anxiety or prescribe medication that might help if it's extreme. It's relatively common and definitely not something wrong with you.
 
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It's difficult because society will tell you if you're not extroverted you're less desirable. Especially in the sexual market.
 
It seems like introversion is trendy and on the rise. As an extreme extrovert, it's very clear to me that the world is pivoting away from in-person social activity at a dramatic pace and in a way that makes me feel as uncomfortable as introverts do in social settings.

So I kinda get it despite being the literal opposite.
 
I thought social media was turning just about everybody into an introvert with contact being primarily through Facebook, E-mail, Text, Instagram etc. I walked into a Razoos restaurant in Dallas a while back and went straight to the bar and got instant service but there were 23 people seated up front waiting for tables. Only one of them looked at me as I walked by, the rest had their face in the phone, It's that way everywhere. Neighbors don't seem to visit their neighbors anymore. They just send a text.
 
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geewago said:
I thought social media was turning just about everybody into an introvert with contact being primarily through Facebook, E-mail, Text, Instagram etc. I walked into a Razoos restaurant in Dallas a while back and went straight to the bar and got instant service but there were 23 people seated up front waiting for tables. Only one of them looked at me as I walked by, the rest had their face in the phone, It's that way everywhere. Neighbors don't seem to visit their neighbors anymore. They just send a text.
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Even as an introvert like myelf, I dont really like how this is going. Im a guy who walks into a room of people who I dont know and I will slink along the outer wall until I get a good read on people. Then I slowly integrate into it all when I find a person or group that feels approachable and connectible.

But I dont like the almost anti-social behavior of our new palm tech world. Connected but further apart than ever.
 
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My daughter is a therapist and she thinks I am not okay. So, yeah, there would be people who say you could use some help. I cover both sides. I love to be alone, it's just my comfort zone. My daughter says I might be on the autism spectrum. Well, that's OK if I am because I'm not going to change and don't want to.

However, I also love social gatherings. I enjoy making people laugh. I am fine with making myself the butt of a joke if it makes people laugh. I also have played guitar and sang in front of people most of my life, so I don't fear the spotlight at all.

So, we are all who we are. I don't see any reason to change yourself, or "seek help," if you are contented with being alone. Sounds just fine with me.
 
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Self diagnosed introvert.

I can take a good party or social time but there's a ceiling to it where I need time away from it like family reunions etc.

I have family that are extroverts that act like I'm being rude because they just want to keep at it.

Can also road trip, camp, etc on my own without speaking to another person just fine for a few days and think more people should do things like that.

If I need to get out of comfort zone and talk more, others can too by shutting the **** up for a bit.
 
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clonedude said:
I’m a big time introvert…. is that okay??

Any kind of social gathering of any kind, and I’m just anxious and stressed out and would like to crawl into a hole and disappear. Even family gatherings too when I know everyone.

But then you see all these studies about how everyone needs social interaction, and being a loner is not healthy at all.

But I’m perfectly happy when I’m alone. I read somewhere that there’s a big difference between being alone, and being lonely. I’m definitely not lonely at all. Thoughts?
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I have a sister that is similar. We have a large family that can be over-bearing when we gather. She is fine one on one, but she'll hide away when the chaos commences. Hopefully, your family doesn't feel the need to "fix" you into being more social, since there's nothing wrong.

Regarding the bolded above, lumping everyone into the same category never works. We all have different mental make-ups and backstories that impact our personalities and characteristics.

Some people are reliant on social interation and become depressed when not being engaged with others. IMO, that seems far more detrimental than being a loner.
 
clonedude said:
I’m a big time introvert…. is that okay??

Any kind of social gathering of any kind, and I’m just anxious and stressed out and would like to crawl into a hole and disappear. Even family gatherings too when I know everyone.

But then you see all these studies about how everyone needs social interaction, and being a loner is not healthy at all.

But I’m perfectly happy when I’m alone. I read somewhere that there’s a big difference between being alone, and being lonely. I’m definitely not lonely at all. Thoughts?
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Nothing at all wrong with enjoying your alone time. I love it, and actually require it to the point where I get up early and stay up late to get it.

Personally, I get extremely bored with small talk or conversations without a point to them, and I think over time, that feeds my discomfort. No one at work would have any idea that I am introvert socially.
 
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Cyclonepride said:
Nothing at all wrong with enjoying your alone time. I love it, and actually require it to the point where I get up early and stay up late to get it.

Personally, I get extremely bored with small talk or conversations without a point to them, and I think over time, that feeds my discomfort. No one at work would have any idea that I am introvert socially.
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My work is full of extroverts and many think I'm really quiet and that's really because I choose wisely with who I spend my social time or energy with.
 
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madguy30 said:
Self diagnosed introvert.

I can take a good party or social time but there's a ceiling to it where I need time away from it like family reunions etc.
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I'm in similar vein. I like to socialize some and don't want to be isolated, but I value my alone time and am comfortable with it.

A gathering is fine for a while, then I get to a point of "welp, that will suffice." That worked OK as solo, but when I'm at the whim of family it can be a chore, my mate is more willing to extend (some) socializing, even though she does even less of it than I do. She is naturally extroverted.

When I was much younger, I had a tendency (or desire) to oversocialize at times, at least in comfortable circle of friends.

In a separate detail, I'm am not a good icebreaker. If I'm with unfamiliar/less familiar group, usually I'm fine letting people come to me on their own terms. I can get engaged and talkative, with little problem, in most situations. I'm just not the type to barge right in and introduce myself.
 
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geewago said:
I thought social media was turning just about everybody into an introvert with contact being primarily through Facebook, E-mail, Text, Instagram etc. I walked into a Razoos restaurant in Dallas a while back and went straight to the bar and got instant service but there were 23 people seated up front waiting for tables. Only one of them looked at me as I walked by, the rest had their face in the phone, It's that way everywhere. Neighbors don't seem to visit their neighbors anymore. They just send a text.
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Razoos are still around. Good lord I drank there a lot.

Damn near a Norm situation when I'd walk in. Beer waiting by the time I made it to the bar.
 
Al_4_State said:
It seems like introversion is trendy and on the rise. As an extreme extrovert, it's very clear to me that the world is pivoting away from in-person social activity at a dramatic pace and in a way that makes me feel as uncomfortable as introverts do in social settings.

So I kinda get it despite being the literal opposite.
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Covid played a huge factor in this especially for kids. I love WFH but all the schooling from home would be terrible for kids of any age in terms of social development.
 
cyclones500 said:
I'm in similar vein. I like to socialize some and don't want to be isolated, but I value my alone time and am comfortable with it.

A gathering is fine for a while, then I get to a point of "welp, that will suffice." That worked OK as solo, but when I'm at the whim of family it can be a chore, my mate is more willing to extend (some) socializing, even though she does even less of it than I do. She is naturally extroverted.

When I was much younger, I had a tendency (or desire) to oversocialize at times, at least in comfortable circle of friends.
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About twenty years ago I was a bar fly, went to as many small venue concerts as I could handle, and liked meeting new people.

I still like this occasionally but crowds are just not something I seek out and I'm good with the few friends I have.
 
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