That is a great way to state it. We tend to play to keep it close. Then if we get a couple breaks (recover a fumble, make an interception, a defensive lapse by the other team) we might win. Or, we make 2 or 3 mistakes, we lose. We never just thrash somebody because we were the aggressor, not on offense anyway.
Last year we beat KU handily because they just really played poorly. And we handled two Texas teams pretty well in November. I was at those games and I truly felt their players just didn't want to play in Ames in November. Much like when we pounded Mahomes and Texas Tech on November 19, 2016. Even when we win big, it's not that we were proactive, we either were a mismatch, caught some breaks or played an uninspired team.
That's what makes the Iowa game so hard to win. Teams are evenly matched, we never get any breaks, and Iowa is super-motivated. None of the elements we need to win exist when we play them. So, we keep it close, but at that critical moment, their defense will rise up, or we will turn the ball over, or our conservative offense will sputter. Our only hope is to come out fast, grab the lead and let our defense make a stand at the end. There is no other game we play that so much depends on ISU being proactive.