Wedding Gift Budget

[IcSyU]

Depends.

Someone I go "huh, why did they invite us?" $50
Family? $100+
Close friend? $250+

Wife's BFF from college gets married in a week and a half. Wife is flying to Denver and staying for 4 days for Bachelorette party, etc. I think? we're covering the bill for the bride and groom's dog to be boarded for 9 or 10 days during wedding/honeymoon.

 

[cmjh10]

I recently attended the wedding of a good friend of my SO. In addition to the wedding we attended, this person had an engagement party, wedding shower, destination bachelorette party, small destination wedding and then a second wedding that was local.

My SO attended the wedding shower and brought a very nice gift, attended the destination bachelorette party (which was quite expensive for her to attend), and then the local wedding as we had a conflict during the destination wedding.

Two days later she gets a text from her friend asking if "she possibly misplaced her card" as she did not see one from us. I was pretty astounded. My SO attended a destination bachelorette party, brought a nice gift(s) to the wedding shower, and even had a friend bring a personalized card to give to her at her destination wedding and she STILL thought she should ask her "just to check" (but really just to call her out for not bringing another gift).

I wanted her to just be honest and say that her first gift was enough and that she should have gotten a card at the destination wedding but she caved and sent her some cash in the mail, saying that we "forgot the card at home".

Is this normal human behavior?

Some people just want to be the center of attention.

 

[cowgirl836]

I ask because I have 6 weddings these next few months starting this weekend and trying to kinda figure out what’s normal. When one of my best friends got married, I didn’t think about a budget.

But the ones coming up aren’t as close to me but still good friends.

Do gift cards to their registry then. They almost certainly get a completion discount then and your 50 becomes 58 or whatever.

 

[cyclonedave25]

It depends how much $ and effort I have to give to get to the wedding. Am I in the wedding and also having to rent a tux? Am I having to get a hotel room for a couple nights? Flights? Am I driving 5 hrs each way with gas at $6/gallon?

Heck, now that I think about it, I’m going to start sending bills to the bride and groom if they want me to attend their wedding.

 

[bluestarcyclone]

I think there can be an amount of generational expectations at play with gifts too. My mom complained when my cousin who got married when he was 32 or so didn't have anything "affordable" on their registry. Well they are older and don't need all of the dishes and other junk. They already have it.

This is where I liked what a friend did for their wedding. They had a page up that had all these various things for their honeymoon to 'sponsor'.

Essentially it was cash, but it also appeals to those who want to feel like they're buying a gift

 

[NWICY]

Do gift cards to their registry then. They almost certainly get a completion discount then and your 50 becomes 58 or whatever.

Well this is a silly question but what is a completion discount?

 

[JP4CY]

Well this is a silly question but what is a completion discount?

The unpurchased items. Basically a discount.
We found it super beneficial for baby registry and it also had a diaper discount then (amazon).

 

[carvers4math]

Recently married person here. Just give cash. $50 to someone you kind of know and $100 to close friends/family.

This is what we do except in addition to the cash for close family, we also give an inexpensive religious item, such as a wedding cross

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

For graduations, I send a check. If I get a hand-written thank-you from the kid, (not the parent, not the girlfriend), I send more money along with the explanation that common courtesy always makes a person more memorable. (I also state that a second thank-you is not necessary and that it will not be rewarded with more moolah).

It probably seems odd, but I think I would like to be invited to a wedding. Can't remember the last time. Most people I know now are having funerals.

Say, wouldn't it be great to have a destination funeral??

Speaking of graduations, I need to send my niece a card and a check

 

[carvers4math]

Speaking of graduations, I need to send my niece a card and a check

With our youngest finally graduating college, we are getting to the point where we don’t wind up with dozens of high school grad party invites. It was nice not to cook for a couple of weekends in May but kind of paying a steep price on the grad money. How much do people usually give at those? Our standard is $20 unless it was a really close friend of the family or relative.

 

[BCClone]

With our youngest finally graduating college, we are getting to the point where we don’t wind up with dozens of high school grad party invites. It was nice not to cook for a couple of weekends in May but kind of paying a steep price on the grad money. How much do people usually give at those? Our standard is $20 unless it was a really close friend of the family or relative.

$20 would be a kid we know somewhat. We were low this year with about 8-10. Have broke that 20 invite area even when it’s not a year one of our kids graduate. Had a couple that were, who is this kid, those get $5 because the wife feels she needs to. (And we dont attend). Will do 40-50 if we are close to the kid and go more if a relative.

 

[TitanClone]

$50-$100 cash, the only time I've gotten an actual gift was a propane heater for my brother and SIL's deck.

 

[SCNCY]

If not very close friends, go around $50. I chose 0-50, but I would target around $50. Go to their registry and get them kitchen utensils or towels or something.

 

[carvers4math]

$20 would be a kid we know somewhat. We were low this year with about 8-10. Have broke that 20 invite area even when it’s not a year one of our kids graduate. Had a couple that were, who is this kid, those get $5 because the wife feels she needs to. (And we dont attend). Will do 40-50 if we are close to the kid and go more if a relative.

Your wife is nicer than me. Those invites that are inviting the whole world at church or social media, we ignore. Got an invite this year from a girl who we have never spoken to but her dad is vaguely acquainted to my husband. Didn’t go to party but sent her a $20 cause hey, less invites this year. To her credit, we got a gracious thank you note five days later. We rarely get thank you notes at all.

 

[BCClone]

Your wife is nicer than me. Those invites that are inviting the whole world at church or social media, we ignore. Got an invite this year from a girl who we have never spoken to but her dad is vaguely acquainted to my husband. Didn’t go to party but sent her a $20 cause hey, less invites this year. To her credit, we got a gracious thank you note five days later. We rarely get thank you notes at all.

We almost always get Thank yous. Generally ones that are picture thank yous with a quick note.

 

[Cycsk]

For grad gifts, my wife started a cute little practice years ago. We give cash or checks that match the year. For example, $20.22 for grads in 2022. Hedges nicely against inflation too!

 

[Cycsk]

Does the expense of the wedding reception factor into the amount of the gift for anyone else? I usually want my gift to be valued equal or above what I perceive the cost of the reception to be. I consider it to be "the price of admission."

 

[Cycsk]

How much do you spend on wedding gifts?

Does it change based on family vs friends? Distant family vs immediate family?

Do you always do X amount no matter what?

Do you buy something within your range on the registry or just give money?

Hey 2015, are you setting us up for the level of gifting you can expect from us when you find "true love" and get married?

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

Hey 2015, are you setting us up for the level of gifting you can expect from us when you find "true love" and get married?

Well by the time I get married everyone can afford the upper tiers because they’ll be nearing retirement

 

[JP4CY]

Does the expense of the wedding reception factor into the amount of the gift for anyone else? I usually want my gift to be valued equal or above what I perceive the cost of the reception to be. I consider it to be "the price of admission."

Sometimes for me it does. We went to a wedding/reception at the Scottish Rite once and I'm assuming that was pricey.